Why Bother Watching Anything Popular When You Can Save Time With Surprise Spoilers?

By Jodi Smith | Think Pieces | February 26, 2018 |

By Jodi Smith | Think Pieces | February 26, 2018 |

SPOILERS? (Not really)

I haven’t watched The Walking Dead since sometime after the group arrived at Herschel’s farm and The Punisher died. However, I can tell you exactly who else has died since then, probably how they died, who is left, and who is likely to be killed next. Why? SPOILERS, OF COURSE.

This morning I was browsing entertainment news and was greeted by a headline that basically read “Get the Scoop On the Shocking Death on The Walking Dead.” That’s a fine headline. I have no problem with that. However, the header photo for the post was of only one character. The character the article is talking about. That’s ridiculous.

Even more ridiculous? If you do click through to read the piece, a video begins to auto-play and immediately tells you who died. Only after that do we have the helpful warning Caution: Spoilers below.

Thanks. That was a close one. I almost found out that [redacted] died from [redacted] and then [redacted] themselves. That spoiler tag really saved me.

I mean, are you serious? You cannot run a headline that is so very specific and then accompany it with a picture that only features one character from the show or movie. In the age of social media: THAT’S A SPOILER, YOU GREAT FEEB.

Now, there are shows that I have never watched and I can tell you what the storylines and big scenes have been. This Is Us is 100% not anything I have an interest in at all. But I can tell you who died, how they died, and when that episode aired. I don’t give a crap about that. I wasn’t going to watch it anyway.

But when it’s something I do want to see, but haven’t gotten to just yet, I have a real problem with that. For instance, I haven’t seen Black Panther yet, but I have reason to believe that SPOILER POSSIBILITY……….. someone doesn’t make it through the film, thanks to spoilers in headlines……. SPOILER POSSIBILITY OVER.

I know that websites need clicks, but how difficult is it to entice a reader to go into the actual article without spoiling everything in it? Maybe word things better or try to confuse people about which character did what by having a header photo with multiple people in it. It’s ridiculous that I have to enjoy entertainment on someone else’s timeline or else risk experience-ruining spoilers.

Obviously, I’m not talking about the original Star Wars or older movies. I’m talking about new entertainment. Things that get spoiled days or even hours after it becomes available to the public. Stop ruining my enjoyment and let me be surprised when I’m ready to watch. Let me revel in the invention of streaming and choose when to watch shows. Jerks.