Sorry, America, 'Star Wars: Rogue One' Will Open in the UK Early. Pajiba's London Correspondent Reacts Accordingly

By Petr Navovy | Star Wars | October 25, 2016 |

By Petr Navovy | Star Wars | October 25, 2016 |

Here are two facts that look excellent when read one after the other:

Star Wars: Rogue One opens in the US on 16th December 2016.

Star Wars: Rogue One opens in the UK on 15th December 2016.

Stay on target! #RogueOne blasts into UK cinemas on December 15. All wings report in… pic.twitter.com/H0UYXRwNJ8

— Star Wars UK (@StarWarsUK) October 23, 2016

Well now.

Ah, don’t worry, it’s not that great a boon.

We won’t feel too smug about it.

We’re gonna be chill.

Magnanimous.

Full of decorum, befitting our global image.

But seriously, commiserations, my sisters and brothers across the pond, but truth be told we all know why this had to happen, don’t we? Why this is deserved and just and right?

Because there’s a fucking ‘h’ in it.

I’m joking, I’m joking. Look we voted for Brexit, LET US HAVE THIS. We promise we won’t gloat. Besides, I bet that the Disney reshoots have sanded down the edges and made an anodyne corporate product of Gareth Edwards’ edgy, vital story. This’ll give us enough time to send word to warn you ahead of time.

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Petr Knava lives in London and plays music