Listen, people, I don’t have a lot of time to get into this. Let’s keep it simple: Aya Goddamn Cash.

Jesus. Ok, so partly it’s that Cash seems fairly comfortable having a potty mouth, and I’m fucking into that. Also something I’m into?

Feeling gassy

A post shared by Aya Cash (@maybeayacash) on Mar 11, 2017 at 9:41am PST

Partly it’s the dog, partly it’s the “Feeling gassy” tag, but mostly it’s the nearly unbearable level of hair envy I’m experiencing.

Monday morning

A post shared by Aya Cash (@maybeayacash) on Sep 26, 2016 at 8:05am PDT

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THAT SHADE OF RED? ONLY TO REALIZE THAT I CAN’T PULL IT OFF, AND HAVE TO SETTLE FOR COPPER?

Last day. @youretheworstfxx 📷 by @kristinafrisch

A post shared by Aya Cash (@maybeayacash) on Sep 16, 2016 at 10:33pm PDT

Goddammit, you’re pretty.

Which, yes, is really what most of this boils down to for me. Aya Cash is Gretchen Cutler, and Gretchen Cutler, you goddamn floor me.

I think women who have intimidating eyebrows are hot and awesome. Also, one time she did this:

I literally have no idea what to do with that, but I’m so glad it exists in the world. And I don’t want to pull a fast one on your mind boners here (phrasing), but after Cash puts on that very uncomfortable, hot outfit and makes buttsex funny, she breaks your heart in four parts

I mean, how does a person even do that with her face so that you get all of the feelings?!

Ok, fine, I’m done with the feelings talk. It’s just that I love you so much.

Dead now.