Girls, Here's What You Need to Know Before Seeing 'Avengers: Age of Ultron' With Your Boyfriends

By Deadline Rebecca | Marvel Movies | April 1, 2014 |

By Deadline Rebecca | Marvel Movies | April 1, 2014 |

Avengers: Age of Ultron comes out a little over a month from now, and ladies, I know all that boy stuff like comic books and superheroes can be difficult to wrap your head around. Hulking? What’s a hulking? With a little help, you too can be a “girl geek” who’s sexually pleasing to your man.

So who is…

Captain America, aka Steve Rogers? The leader of a group of superheroes (they’re like heroes, but super!) called The Avengers, Captain America is morally upright, possesses a keen sense of justice, and is hunky like Channing Tatum in the Nicholas Sparks movie Dear John.

Iron Man, aka Tony Stark? The sassy genius inventor of a flying suit of armor, Tony Stark is a billionaire—but sorry, ladies, he’s taken! Just like James Marsden in Nicholas Sparks’ The Best of Me.

Thor, aka Thor? A Norse god from space, Thor is played by Chris Hemsworth, brother of Liam Hemsworth, who co-starred in the Nicholas Sparks movie The Last Song! There’s something we ladies can latch onto.

The Hulk, aka Bruce Banner? Bruce has some anger issues that can turn him into a raging green monster (we’ve all been there, right?), but like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, you know he’s always a good guy underneath.

Hawkeye, aka Clint Barton? The world’s best archer, he always hits the spot, amirite ladiesssss? The soulful, quiet type, Hawkeye will always be there for you like Shane West was for Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember. Sob!

Black Widow, aka Natasha Romanov? Black Widow was a deadly superassassin working for the Soviets before she came around to the side of good. She also occasionally wears a black bodysuit, tight enough to be a sexy cosplay option for when you want male geeks to grope you. It’s not sexual objectification—they’re just appreciating your assets! Much like Scott Eastwood appreciates Britt Robertson in the upcoming Nicholas Sparks movie The Longest Ride.

Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch, aka Pietro and Wanda Maximoff? The Avengers have added two new members to their team, and one of them’s a woman! Two lady superheroes. Really, I think one’s enough. There’s no need to get greedy. I’m not one of those “feminists” or anything. I like men! Like Taylor Schilling likes Zac Efron in Nicholas Sparks’ magnum opus The Lucky One.

Bonus:

Maria Hill? Robin Sparkles: Ghost Wife from Nicholas Sparks’ Safe Haven!

Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net