Good Thing Trump Is So Focused On Creating Jobs

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | February 7, 2017 |

Trump’s not racist, he just wants to keep us safe. He doesn’t hate Muslims, he’s just beefing up security. And most importantly, no one really cares what he says or does because Trump is about one thing and one thing only: bringing jobs back to America. Which is why his first moves as President have been focused on re-energizing the economy. Let’s take a look.

Executive Orders
Day 1: Minimizing the Economic Burden of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act Pending Repeal (Maybe screwing over ACA users, not clear.)

Day 4: Expediting environmental reviews and approvals for high-profile infrastructure projects (Spend less time reviewing environmental impact.)

Day 6: Border security and immigration enforcement improvements (Yeah, that’s the border wall one.)

Day 6: Enhancing public safety in the Interior of the US (Deport undocumented citizens, and target sanctuary cities.)

Day 7: Protecting the nation from foreign terrorist entry (Muslim ban.)

Day 9: Ethics commitments by executive branch appointees (Attempt to drain the swamp by extending the current ethics rules by a year. Which means all those Goldman Sachs executives in Trump’s cabinet will have to wait 24 months before they get back to robbing the country.)

Day 11: Reducing regulation and controlling regulatory costs (One regulation in, two regulations out.)

And those are only the Executive Orders. There are also his Presidential memoranda which have reopened the Dakota Access Pipeline, prohibited NGO’s from acknowledging the existence of abortion, and putting Satan on the NSC. Because jobs, jobs, jobs. Good thing Trump supporters didn’t really believe he was going to do any of the things he said he would.

Bonus video because this was depressing, and I love this goof so much.