What If This Is President Unintelligible's Best Self?

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | April 25, 2017 |

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | April 25, 2017 |

So after the joy of welcoming Seth back into our early morning routines (yes, I watch late night TV in the morning. I’m an early bird, lay off me), I had to brace myself for the onslaught of awkwardness that is witnessing Trump’s presidency. As a person who could barely sit through Michael Scott’s scenes on the office, this past hundred days has nearly killed me. And after watching this segment twice, a question finally struck me: Why hasn’t it killed Trump?

Oh my god, do you feel how rough that is? How could any person with a modicum of self-respect stand mumbling literally incoherent answers at another human being for an hour? How could he sit, looking that interviewer in the eye, and say things like “I think my base is 45-percent”? 45-percent of what, Don? Because you don’t currently have a 45-percent approval rating. The general idea has been that he’s either too stupid or too delusional to know what a giant laughing stock he is. That when SNL starts to get to him with the Bannon jokes, some other aide just plays a segment talking about what a great job Trump is doing and how big his dick must be that Fox & Friends recorded especially for him.

But I have a different theory. And brace yourselves because there is a slim, but very real possibility it might make you pity the president. I think Trump’s life is currently as good as it was three years ago. Which is to say, I think Donald Trump has had a shitty life for at least the past few years. Seriously, what did we know about Trump before he ran for President? He was the (inexplicable) face of the company bearing his name where he worked closely with his three favorite children (sorry, Tiffany), he tweeted a lot of racist shit, and he’d call Steve Doocy to tell him what he thinks. How is that demonstrably different from his life now? His wife won’t live with him? Do we know for sure that three years ago they were living together? Because this?

That level of unbridled resentment doesn’t crop up over night. If they were co-habitating, they weren’t enjoying it.

Having said all that, I’m definitely not ruling out the stupidity or arrogance. I just think in addition to those things, we might want to keep in mind that this “being ridiculed, mocked, and generally disdained” thing might not be as new to the President* as we might have believed. Which is when I come dangerously close to pitying him.

Then I remember this shit, and remind myself Trump can get fucked.