Hey, remember yesterday? Because mostly it was a bag of fart noises. See, the entire country was having an argument with Senator John McCain. An overwhelming majority of us believed that we should show empathy and compassion to those afflicted with disease by not taking away their access to healthcare, and he felt the exact opposite. Unfortunately for us, that fucker won. So now I guess treating those with terminally ill diseases isn’t a national principle of ours. In which case, fuck John McCain.
More importantly, how do you move past the funk that yesterday created? I wasn’t fired up this morning, I wasn’t sarcastically ragey, I was just meh. And meh isn’t something we can work with right now. So in the interest of slowly working our way from “Let’s just lie on the couch and watch The Legend of Bagger Vance” to “Yes, I can do this again today” let’s turn to our friend Stephen Colbert. First there’s comfort to be taken in some old-school, misogynistic crazy talk from our President.
WHAT. THE. SHIT. Is Trump completely unable or unwilling to adjust for his audience? Those are literal Boy Scouts you’re talking to. You know, that thing we call grown men when they’re acting like goody two-shoe assholes? Or by its scientific name, Captain America? What in god’s name made you think a pseudo Hitler Youth rally was what was called for here? Also Trump’s attempts at “folksy” make me want to vomit.
Oh my god, we live in a world where Jessica Williams and J.K. Rowling are friends. If that doesn’t recover your day, seek medical treatment immediately (seriously, before John McCain takes it away from you).