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Current Political Outlook? Holding Out For A Hero

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | November 16, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Late Night TV | November 16, 2016 |

I’m in a weird position. We’re just a week out from The Day That Shall Not Be Named, and I’m almost ready to move on. But only almost. So I’m still watching all of the late night monologues, reading the articles, making lists of congresspeople to contact, and Breitbart stories to mail to Speaker Ryan so he can get to know Steve Bannon. I’m mocking the President Elect, and reveling in others’ mockery of him. But having reliable court jesters is feeling like not enough.

I need a hero. I need somebody to stand up, and say, “I’ll do my best to protect you from this asshole.” Because the scariest part of the election isn’t just that Trump will implement terrible, backward, dangerous policies; it’s also that I feel completely impotent to stop it. I don’t know how to change things, and I pretty desperately want to. So as much as I’ve enjoyed wallowing the past few days, Corey Booker, can you help me out? Elizabeth Warren, you got anything for me? A call to arms, and a plan of attack? Or if you want to go old-school, traditional, maybe Al Franken? You were just on Real Time talking about how you’ve established your bona fides among your colleagues. What better way to blow that all up than by leading the Liberal Revolution? Kamala Harris? Tammy Duckworth? Anybody?

We’ve got at least four years of dealing with a populist, hate-mongering blowhard. I’m worried how to work through all of that without a figure to rally around. And I’m even more worried that in the absence of real leadership, we’ll start drinking that sand. Which actually reminds me, if anyone can Weird Science us up some sort of Aaron Sorkin Greatest Hits President, I could really use it right now.