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Thought Vagina Glue Was Dumb? Dick Tip Stickers Say, 'Hold My Beer'

By Kristy Puchko | Horror | August 3, 2017 |

By Kristy Puchko | Horror | August 3, 2017 |


Men folk do not like to wear condoms. Did you know that? I mean, you may never have heard this super shocking information before. You may also have never heard the myriad of excuses as to why men folk don’t think they need to wear a condom, like “You’re on the pill anyway,” “I’m totally clean,” and that old classic, “Don’t worry babe, I’ll pull out!” But we’ve got a new one for you: “I don’t need a condom, I have a dick tip sticker.”

OB/GYN Dr. Jen Gunter alerted us to the existence of dick tip stickers with her helpful blog post “Guys don’t tape your penis shut instead of using a condom.” Now, I know. You might be all like:

But hear her out. Dr. Gunter has some pretty valid points of concern when it comes to Jiftip, “an adhesive plaster for the penis.” How does it work? Here’s a handy illustration that is in no way absolutely horrifying.

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According to its FAQ page, Jiftip will “Slam the door on foreign invaders and trap those few eager baby-seeds until you’re ready to let them go. [holding back the pre-cum]”

Now, of course every man alive wants to put a sticker on his urethra to block semen from escaping during sex. So this no-condom solution is a real win-win. Except that this totally real product may not actually do either of the main things you’d want a condom replacement to do, namely prevent pregnancy and protect against sexually transmitted infections. But hey bro, this dick sticker is for risk takers!

Per Jiftip’s website:

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Beta Team! How fun! That sounds way better than “guinea pigs putting themselves—and their partner!—at risk to avoid using a condom.”

The other itty-bitty, teeny, weenie, drawback is that pulling a sticker off your dick hole hurts. But don’t worry! Per the FAQ page:

DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU TAKE IT OFF? Yes, it does hurt. But you quickly build a tolerance to it, —like drinking a beer, strange at first, suddenly you’re addicted.

Yup. I totally believe that ripping a sticker off your genitals is 100% like your first beer. And I am completely convinced that ripping a sticker off one’s dick hole is way better than having to wear a condom. But before you rush off to join Beta Team, please consult my FAVORITE part of the FAQ:



Continue Reading After the Advertisement


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Oh man. And we thought vagina glue was stupid.



Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.





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