5 Movies Genetically Engineered For Sick Day Viewing
Sometimes you take a sick day when you are actually sick. It is on one of those days that you need something to entertain you before and after any sort of medication or spontaneous napping occurs. These are movies that you can enjoy while missing great chunks of it due to drooling and dreams about being chased by Freddy Krueger in a trailer park that has crystal mansions and UFOS.
This Matthew McConaughey and Jessica Chastain space flick is 2 hours and 49 minutes long and the majority of it is incomprehensible. If you fall asleep while McConaughey is in space and wake up when he is talking to Ellen Burstyn, I promise that the entire movie premise will make the same amount of sense as watching through without a nap.
The sleep you fall into will be uncertain, deep, and nonsensical. The movie you wake up to will be the same, but with less Kanye West dancing in golden diapers. A drug trip is never the most coherent of stories, but you can always piece together what happened from bits and bobs you are given.
3. Left Behind (2014)
I can guarantee that you won’t give two snot-filled Kleenex shits about what this movie is really about. SPOILER: THE RAPTURE AND CRAZY NIC CAGE. So it’s prime viewing for knocking back some Benedryl and letting the dusky veil of sleep draw you away from Cage’s hairline and insane film choices.
Stay awake for the gorgeous faces of Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper. Drift into restless, sweaty, medicated sleep for the plot.
If you fall asleep after the beginning of this formulaic rom-com, awaken at the end, and then wonder what you missed in the middle, you must be an alien. I’m so sorry we gave you one of our human illnesses. I hope it doesn’t wipe out your whole species via the hivemind we assume you have or the giant mother alien whose existence we will accept as well. Misunderstanding and poor communication. That’s what you missed. Please don’t kill me.
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