What To Make of This New 'Peter Rabbit'

By Kristy Puchko | Film | January 24, 2018 |

By Kristy Puchko | Film | January 24, 2018 |

In the wake of Paddington’s two brilliant movie adaptations, another beloved British children’s book character is coming to the big screen with Peter Rabbit. Beatrix Potter’s adorable, blue-jacketed little bunny has been re-imagined in hopes of grabbing the attention of a new generation. And by re-imagined, I mean they’ve made him a manic, motor-mouthed, party animal.

Also he’s voiced by James Corden.

This trailer seems to be aiming for frolicking fun, but lands more in cringe-inducingly obnoxious. But it’s got an incredible cast that includes Domhnall Gleeson as the intruded upon and screaming Mr. McGregor, and the voices of Margot Robbie, Daisy Ridley, Elizabeth Debicki, Sam Neill, and Sia!

But then there’s the utterly bizarre posters that Sony’s popping out on Twitter.

Peter Rabbit lounging with his shirt open and full-on bedroom eyes on a bed of phallic innuendos… this won't turn anyone furry at all. pic.twitter.com/ndVIzapqwY

— Zig (@ZigZaggyZagg) January 22, 2018

Peter’s been catching up on movies before the big weekend. #PeterRabbitMovie in theaters February 9th! 🐰🥕🎬 pic.twitter.com/GHmZdwxkM3

— Sony Pictures (@SonyPictures) January 4, 2018

The Peter Rabbit Logan one isn't even the worst one, feast your eyes on the horror that is Peter Rabbit Wonder Woman pic.twitter.com/wDw57H7upl

— Pixelbuster (@Nittomata) January 9, 2018

Peter's been catching up on movies before the big weekend. Here are some of his favourite contenders. #PeterRabbitMovie in theatres February 9th! 🐰🥕🎬 pic.twitter.com/Jyf0GVc9xP

— Sony Pictures (@SonyHomeEnt) January 13, 2018

I just don’t get what this movie marketing is even going for. “You loved the dark, gritty superhero tale of Logan? Well, we’ve got rabbits and carrots!” And is the first poster a knowing sex joke? Or is Sony just oblivious?

Then to make things even more uncomfortable, Rose Byrne is maybe playing Beatrix Potter? Her character name is currently listed as “Bea,” and here she is painting Peter and his friends in the second trailer.

So it’s a rom-com where Peter is cock-blocking Farmer McGregor? Am I understanding this, right? And also, why have they dyed Gleeson’s hair that color? Is is just distracting to me? Why can’t McGregor just be a redhead? In the books he was an old man with a long white beard, and Neill’s got that role. (Check him out below.) So what are we even doing here?

Look. I’ll admit that even as a child the Peter Rabbit stuff bored me. So I wasn’t opposed to the idea of giving him a bit of modern sensibility. But all this? It feels like they’ve mainlined the mischievous rabbit with pixie-sticks and angel dust.

I have one lingering source of hope for Peter Rabbit, and that’s its director, Will Gluck. He’s the helmer of the underrated cheerleader comedy Fired Up!, the Emma Stone gem Easy A, the deliciously sharp and sexy rom-com Friends With Benefits, and also Annie. Okay. The new Annie was atrocious, a garish attempt to take an old children’s classic and turn it into something freshly commercial, without paying any attention to what people loved about the original. Oh. Oh dammit.

Kristy Puchko has already volunteered to review this movie. Somewhere TK is cackling.