By Kristy Puchko | Film | January 9, 2019 |
By Kristy Puchko | Film | January 9, 2019 |
This story begins like a horror movie, but spoilers: no children were harmed by this peculiar prowler.
Imagine: your parents are away. Only you and your siblings are at home. Maybe you celebrate by watching the movies your parents would never allow, scary ones. And then the security system chimes, alerting you that there’s movement outside the front door. Maybe you ignore it at first. But the security system is persistent. You go to the camera or maybe even the front door and peek out to see a strange man dedicatedly licking your doorbell! And by dedicated, I mean he’ll stay there up to three hours licking and licking and licking.
This is the bizarre news report out of Salinas, California. You can see video of the perp in action in the video below.
Shout out to the crew member heard yipping with laughter in the background!
As I said, no one was harmed. And because the footage was so good, police were quickly able to identify the doorbell licker as Roberto Daniel Arroyo, who could be charged with misdemeanor charges of petty theft and prowling. The children of Sylvia Dungan, who owns the home and the fondled doorbell, are fine. They actually slept through the whole thing.
“You kind of laugh about it afterwards because technically he didn’t do anything,” Dungan told KION.
While licking a stranger’s doorbell isn’t a crime it is the kind of kinky behavior that’ll entice Twitter. Here’s how users responded to this story of home-o erotica.
3 hours????? His Tinder should be blowing up
— JKDC (@JohnnyKageDtCom) January 8, 2019
Um. I was promised a 3 hour video.
— Michael Northington (@Mcnorthington5) January 8, 2019
Pornhub?
— Cheeto_Shane ðŸ³ï¸â€ðŸŒˆ (@cheeto_shane) January 8, 2019
— Miranda Yaver (@mirandayaver) January 8, 2019
Me when I read this pic.twitter.com/BWKNbbMh30
— MR [FTP!] ðŸ³ï¸â€ðŸŒˆðŸ‡²ðŸ‡½ (@emgarciaa_) January 8, 2019
This is how I shall measure everything from now on.
— Jill (@11MyJam) January 8, 2019
It was fun, but it was no licking a doorbell for 3 hours fun..
— Hannah (@Hannnburger) January 8, 2019
Sir, this is a Wendy's drive-through.
— SailorGirl (@SailorAileen) January 8, 2019
another hobby on my list has been condemned thanks to political correctness,
— POST MAN (@MatthewPWells) January 8, 2019
Is that not allowed anymore? pic.twitter.com/R9ZSDoX4nk
— Splint Chesthair (@EnasYorl) January 8, 2019
🎵Ding-Dong🎵
— E. Wong (@ewong247) January 8, 2019
WEDDING BELLS!
🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔
And we end on this note:
Cunniringus
— peter crozier (@pacrozier) January 8, 2019