We’ve got a lot to get through this week, but I’m kicking things off with a trailer that’s actually been around for a little while. I must have missed it, but it’s still relevant because a) Chris Pine and b) the movie just premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival, which means we’re starting to get some pretty juicy details. And by “details” I mean “penis.”
Happy Friday, folks!
Outlaw King — In Select Theaters and on Netflix November 9
Chris Pine is looking to cement his status as Best Chris by adopting a Scottish accent and putting on some chain mail to play Robert The Bruce… and then taking it all off for some full-frontal nudity because DAMN, DUDE. Here’s how Vulture describes the first of two, ah, glimpses at Pine’s hidden talents:
The sex scene that ensues can only be described as Wiseauean, both in the way the camera lovingly lingers on the male lead’s backside, and in its willingness to go on for a beat longer than is comfortable. It’s kicked off by a split-second shot where Robert disrobes, unveiling the full majesty of his medieval bush. It’s a level of nudity you don’t often see from male movie stars, and quite frankly, it makes Justin Theroux look like Buffalo Bill.
I mean, somebody better tell Evans he needs to take his pants off ASAP. Or… maybe somebody needs to tell Pine to bust out some whipped cream next time?
The battle for Best Chris may be entering a new phase, but at least Matthew McConaughey has finally achieved his ultimate form:
The Beach Bum — In theaters March 22, 2019
This is possibly the most Matthew McConaughey thing to ever Matthew McConaughey. He plays a “rebellious stoner and lovable rogue” named Moondog in this film from Harmony Korine. It also stars Snoop Dogg, Isla Fisher, and whatever is going on with Zac Efron’s facial hair. I am just so here for ALL OF THIS.
But if that trailer is somehow not enough McConaughey for your Friday, then here’s 10+ minutes of McConaugrunts to get you by (h/t Petr for making my day with this):
Let’s see, what else… Oh! Here’s Best Olivia being the fucking best!
The Favourite — in theaters November 23
Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos (The Lobster), this one’s got Olivia Colman playing a frail and mercurial Queen Anne, who is supported by Lady Sarah (Rachel Weisz) and befriended by a new servant named Abigail (Emma Stone). Colman has gone on record saying that it’s “awfully fun having sex with Emma Stone” and now I’m going on record saying that I WANT TO SEE THAT. Also the whole movie, because this looks funny and quirky as hell and I’m into it.
Wildlife — In theaters October 19
This movie marks the directorial debut of Paul Dano, who wrote the script with Zoe Kazan. Jake Gyllenhaal plays an out-of-work golf pro, who turns to firefighting to feel useful, while Carey Mulligan plays his wife who is left holding the family together in 1960s Montana. It’s getting a lot of buzz for the performances, and based on this trailer… yeah, it looks pretty damn gorgeous.
An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn — In theaters October 19
This is another trailer that’s a few weeks old, but it’s worth looking at because… well, you kinda HAVE to look at it. I certainly can’t explain it. I have no idea what’s going on. All I know for sure is that it stars Aubrey Plaza and Jemaine Clement (presumably NOT re-teaming as the Shadow King), plus Craig Robinson, Matt Berry, and Maria Bamford, and that I’m intrigued…
BoJack Horseman: Season 5 — Streaming on Netflix September 14 (NEXT WEEK!)
I can’t tell if this season looks more fucked up than previous seasons, but let’s just say I don’t think our “protagonist” is in great shape.
The Wind — Premiering at Toronto International Film Festival (release date TBD)
Wild West frontier horror? Because that whole pioneer life wasn’t hard enough without all this supernatural fuckery compounding it. Still, I’m digging this trailer — it looks moody and creepy, and honestly, the wind has always been kind of a dick, so I’m glad it’s finally getting called out on its shit.
Camping — Coming to HBO October 14
Can the prospect of uber-nerdy David Tennant, plus the one-two punch of Juliette Lewis and Ione Skye, lure you into a series starring conservative action hero Jennifer Garner? Luckily I don’t think there are any piñata factories in the woods. So.
Header Image Source: Netflix