I know I phrased the headline as a question, but what I meant to say is: I, personally, am not emotionally prepared for what Tessa’s dishing out in Little Woods.
Little Woods — In select theaters April 19
This indie is being described as a “small-town modern Western” — which is fitting, because there’s a LOT going on. Tessa Thompson plays Ollie, a reformed prescription drug runner in North Dakota who decides to restart her business in order to make enough money to buy back her mother’s house, so that her sister (Lily James) has a safe place to raise her family. The film earned director Nia DaCosta the Tribeca Film Festival’s 2018 Nora Ephron Award, and now she’s been hired to direct the upcoming Candyman reboot for Jordan Peele, so uh — this movie led to good things!
And speaking of not being emotionally prepared, YOU LEAVE DEV PATEL ALONE, TERRORISTS!
Hotel Mumbai — In theaters this March
Based on the real-life siege of the Taj Hotel in 2008, this film is already stressing me out. In addition to Dev Patel and his perfectly-coiffed facial hair, Hotel Mumbai also stars Armie Hammer, Nazanin Boniadi, Anupam Kher, and Jason Isaacs as the guests and staff trying to survive the terrorists holding the hotel hostage. But seriously, if anything happens to Dev Patel I’m gonna have to quit again.
Meanwhile, this trailer is way cuter than it has any right to be:
Little — In theaters April 12
Get it? Like Big, only in reverse (and without the white manchild)? Regina Hall stars as a tech mogul who wakes up in a tween body (Black-ish’s Marsai Martin), while Issa Rae plays her put-upon assistant who ends up inheriting her glam wardrobe. So, uh, when I grow up can I hang out with Issa Rae too? Because I want that. And also Regina’s whole wardrobe.
And this trailer is making my brain hurt:
Weird City — Coming to YouTube February 13th
LeVar Burton, Rosario Dawson, Mark Hamill, Ed O’Neill, Michael Cera, Awkwafina, Yvette Nicole Brown, Steven Yeun, Laverne Cox, and a ton of other people you recognize star in this dystopian sci-fi anthology from Jordan Peele and Charlie Sanders. The only thing that confuses me is why a project of this caliber is… on YouTube?
Whereas oddly enough, this trailer makes perfect sense to me:
Russian Doll — Coming to Netflix February 1
Natasha Lyonne keeps dying, then waking up again, in a series she co-created and is inspired by her own life (though not, presumably, the repeated death parts). A choose-your-own-adventure about personal fulfillment (?), this one looks weird and fun and I’m into it — and not just because Lyonne described her character’s pantsuits as “the perfect combination of Marisa Tomei and Joe Pesci’s character in My Cousin Vinny.” Though also, clearly, because of that.
IO — Coming to Netflix January 18
Margaret Qualley (Andie McDowell’s daughter! I just found that out!) and Anthony Mackie star in this grim little apocalyptic flick, as two stragglers deciding between trying to fix a toxic Earth or catching the last shuttle off of it. Might be cool, but there’s a distinct lack of mutants, zombies, or aliens that makes me worry — or maybe whole “dying world” scenario is just too anticlimactic, given that the world is actually dying.
Paddleton — Coming to Netflix February 22
Mark Duplass and Ray Romano play a couple of quirky misfits dealing with the repercussions of a cancer diagnosis, in what I think is supposed to be a comedy but is probably one of those comedies that’ll end in tears. Also? Still no aliens. The fuck, Netflix?!
Header Image Source: NEON