'Bedeviled' Is The Worst Horror Movie To Ever Exist
I don’t even know where to start.
Bedeviled is a horror movie directed and written by Abel and Burlee Vang that is available on Netflix streaming. Netflix thought I might like it. Netflix was wrong.
The plot is…you know what? Watch the trailer.
This turd opens with a girl staring into space in a darkened room. Her mother enters, tells her dinner is ready, and then asks if she wants her to call Alice for her. When her daughter, Nikki (Alexis G. Zall) doesn’t answer, the mother says, “You’ve been in your room for days”. POOR PARENTING. Then the Mom goes somewhere, I don’t know where because who cares, and Nikki decides to wander outside of her room and into the poorly-lit house. Then Mr. Bedeviled appears, unfolding like an origami asshole, and Nikki is dead.
Next is Nikki’s funeral, where Alice (surprisingly not a Lohan, but Saxon Sharbino) arrives and then meets up with the rest of their group of friends. We have Dan (Brandon Soo Hoo), Haley (Victory Van Tuyl), Alice’s boyfriend Gavin (Carson Boatman), and Nikki’s boyfriend Cody (Mitchell Edwards). They talk about how Nikki didn’t show up in gym class last week, which seems odd since they are supposed to be best friends and we were just told Nikki hadn’t left her room in days.
If you think it will get better, it will not. If Tommy Wiseau did bath salts and then wrote, directed, and starred in every role, that horror movie would still be more coherent and well-acted than Bedeviled.
Long story short, Alice downloads an app after an invite pops up on her phone from her deceased friend Nikki and then the entire friend group does the same, causing them to be taunted and chased by their biggest fears. That sounds like an interesting premise, but let me remind you that all of the actors are terrible, the writing is sub-Wiseau, and the execution is pitiful.
What does everyone fear? Well, Alice fears her dead grandmother. Haley fears a deformed stuffed bear her Dad gave her for a birthday present. Gavin is afraid of clowns. Dan fears a random photo of an Asian woman his parents keep in their house, which is connected to a horrifying story his mother told him as a child. What’s the story? I have no idea, as I was checking Twitter.
Cody, the only black friend, is afraid of police and white people. That’s right. Strangely, one sequence has Cody taking the bus home after school and it takes until it is dark outside for him to arrive. Then he walks down a shady alley and into—A PARKING GARAGE. First of all, he goes to a school hours from his home, presumably in the ghetto of Los Angeles, but second of all, he has to walk into a parking garage to get home? WHAT EVEN IS THAT.
Other random things that happen and don’t matter:
- Haley thinks their teacher, who is lecturing on fear, is hot.
- Dan and Haley have a sex tape that the killer app uploads to Instagram.
- Haley was jealous of Nikki and Alice’s friendship.
In the end, Alice and Cody break into the house of the person that invited Nikki to download the app. Cody is apparently a hacker. At any rate, no one answers the door, so break in and then they find a corpse sitting upright in the garage. It’s a dude whose name I don’t care to look up that was apparently a tutor hired by who cares. There are reel-to-reel tapes by the corpse, so Alice and Cody pull up chairs on either side of Tutor Corpse to listen. Mr. Bedeviled is a ghost or whatnot and is using technology to kill people. No dur.
In the end, Alice and Cody set up surveillance in an abandoned warehouse that has wifi and electricity so they can lure Mr. Bedeviled there where he will chase one of them with their fear while Cody has a program uninstall the uninstallable app from their phones. Of course, the uninstall only happens one phone at a time and, in the only callback ever, Cody’s phone has firmware that blocks the uninstall program at the last minute and he dies.
Oh kids. It was so bad. The acting was egregious. The plot was poorly executed. The camera angles are unfathomable. The writing is fourth grade and the movie is bad. It is just bad. So bad.
- What if 'Independence Day' with Will Smith is a Warning?
- With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility: Voting for the Pajiba 10 Begins Now
- The 10 Best Movies Of 2019 So Far
- Meghan McCain Wants to Quit 'The View' (WHY, GOD?!)
- 'Yesterday' Is A Love Letter To East Anglia