We joke about Wish.com a lot on here, but that’s because the site deserves the mockery. However, if your New Year’s Resolution is to emulate a successful person, it is surprisingly helpful. Perhaps you believe Kylie Jenner is truly a self-made millionaire businesswoman and, as such, want to look as much like her as possible. Your vision boards just aren’t working fast enough and now you think that transforming yourself into the youngest Kardashian-Jenner is the only path to money and fame.
I like your ignorance and want to subscribe to your newsletter in order to have a hearty laugh every day, friend. More importantly, I want to help you out. I’ve gathered together some lovely, affordable Wish items to get you started on your journey to becoming -and usurping- Kylie Jenner.
BEHOLD! A $500 lacefront wig of virgin Brazilian hair for only 75 cents!
For less than a dollar, not including shipping, you can clumsily pop that hair on your head before using…
When you say you’ve never had anything injected into your lips, you won’t even be lying! ONE POINT FOR YOU, GLEN COCO!
We can’t stop now, friend. It’s time for…
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s a discount pallet of fake mink eyelashes for under $3. You’re worth it!
If you want to make it to the top of the beauty business, you need nails so long and unwieldy that you wipe with toilet paper on a stick. Once again, Wish is here for you.
The ball is now in your court, young grasshopper. I expect to see your very own cosmetics line this time next year. Also a lot of pictures of your butt.