Divorce is never easy. It’s a long, emotionally brutal process that can put you through the mental and financial wringer. Even the quickest and least painful splits come with some sort of collateral damage. Now, imagine doing it in the public eye, with ex number four, and everyone discovering just how much equine jizz you wanted out of it. Welcome to the world of William Shatner!
Captain Kirk himself split from his wife Elizabeth in December and the divorce was finalized this Tuesday. Elizabeth is a former horse trainer and Mrs. Shatner number four, so after 18 years of marriage, she was certainly entitled to something nice. According to People, court documents reveal how the exes divvied up their assets. She gets the homes in Malibu Cove and Versailles, Kentucky, while he gets the ranch in California, although he has agreed to let Elizabeth visit the ranch to ‘occasionally harvest fruit’ and visit the graves of her first husband and several horses.
Ah yes, the horses. As you can imagine for a former horse trainer and a couple who never had kids, horse custody was always going to be a contentious issue. Shatner gets two of them, with the wonderful names Renaissance Man’s Medici and Powder River Shirley, while Elizabeth is now a single mother to Belle Reve’s So Photogenic and Pebbles. Visitation rights have also been granted. Bill also gained custody of their two dogs and ‘all horse semen.’ Yes, you heard that right: JIZZ. Horse breeding is a very lucrative field if you have the ahem, goods, and clearly this was an investment that the S.S. Enterprise’s horniest captain didn’t want to lose.
They say money can’t buy you love but apparently it’s good enough to have you swimming in the white stuff.
(Gif via giphy.)
Header Image Source: Paramount Pictures