Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | February 20, 2026
Yesterday, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, the former Duke of York and accused sex criminal, was arrested on suspicion of of misconduct in public office. It was a truly shocking development in the one-time Prince’s stumble down the rabbit hole of embarrassment and apparent criminality. While he was not arrested for anything pertaining to his alleged victim, the late Virginia Giuffre, he was brought into custody regarding details revealed in the Epstein files. The latest glut of documents seemed to show Andrew sharing private government details with the late paedophile, who he once confessed he didn’t regret being friends with because he got some good business contacts out of it. Yes, there’s a touch of the ‘Al Capone going down for tax evasion’ vibes going on here, but we’ll take what we can get.
Andrew was allowed to return home last night, but the story has just begun. Andrew was released under investigation by Thames Valley Police, which means that, while he’s still a person of interest, he’s not restricted or placed under any conditions as one would be were they under bail.
King Charles III released a statement expressing his “deepest concern” about his brother’s arrest, and reiterates his “full and wholehearted support and co-operation” with the authorities. “Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.” It’s the closest the King has come to saying, “He’s not my f**king problem.”
Today, the police continued searches on Andrew’s home in Berkshire, where he was forced to move after being kicked out of his other, far larger, tax-payer funded mansion. Journalists and cameras are camped outside the gates of Andrew’s house, watching as police cars go in and out, taking on the task of logging all potential evidence. The BBC has said that these searches are likely to continue over the weekend until Monday.
The Metropolitan Police says that it is not “identifying and contacting former and serving officers who may have worked closely, in a protection capacity, with Andrew Mountbatten‑Windsor.” There have been reports that Andrew’s security team, funded by tax-payers, had been told to turn a “Blind eye” to some of Andrew’s activities.
The government is facing calls to remove Andrew from the line of succession. Despite relinquishing his titles and being a sack of sh*t who nobody likes, he is still technically eighth in line to the throne. While he is unlikely to get close to the crown, the principle of the matter still stands.
So, what does it all mean? Well, the possibility of some form of accountability is pretty damn enticing. For a long time, us Brits have been told that such things were the stuff of fantasy. Moreover, we’ve been lectured for generations about the necessity of a constitutional monarchy and why it’s part of our national identity to worship these inbred losers. It wasn’t that long ago that the royal press bent over backward to spread propaganda that Meghan Markle was somehow more toxic than an accused abuser whose BFF was the most notorious trafficker of the century. Upholding this broken institution was supposed to be our duty. Now, a former prince has a mugshot.
I should note for non-Americans that, by and large, the British press and figures of influence like politicians have not been pro-Andrew. They’ve called out his grotesque arrogance and denials even as the evidence against him piled up. Many of them are cheering on the prospect of him serving jail time. And yet there’s still this bizarre insistence from many corners that the monarchy is something we should continue to believe in, that Andrew was just one bad apple, and that William and Kate will make things so wonderfully modern when they take the throne. One conservative commentator lamented that Queen Elizabeth would be devastated to see what was happening. Yes, she would, but only because Andy was her favourite kid and she probably knew more about his damage than she let on.
Yes, I’m famously anti-monarchist, but now more than ever, I am baffled by anyone who believes in this loser ideology as we see the repercussions of a concept build around a bloodline treated as Gods with zero accountability and no deference to democracy. And remember, Andrew has been sh*t for years. Long before his Epstein connection was mainstream news, it was known. And before that, his “work” as a trade envoy was derided as a shameless excuse for him to cash in on side-deals with dodgy politicians and force normal people to foot his five star hotel bills. If you tell someone that they were born to rule and nobody can stop it, of course they’re going to be an abusive bully.
The monarchy cannot be modernised. That is an oxymoron. All we can hope for is that, truly, nobody is above the law and Virginia Giuffre’s legacy will be upheld.
