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Miley's Masturbation Promotion Photo Is Offensive (NSFW Again)

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | January 16, 2015 |

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | January 16, 2015 |


So this is where Miley goes from here.

a masturbate a day keeps the haters away

A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

And I get that this will make me sound old and uptight, but I’m offended. I know that Miley shouldn’t be considered a role model, but she is. And she should hold herself to a higher standard. So goddamnit, Miley, don’t treat “masturbate” as a noun! You can’t have “a masturbate” a day because that’s not how that word works. You could have written “An orgasm a day keeps the haters away”, and allow the picture to imply your endorsement of self- enabled orgasms. You don’t always have to spell everything out for people. We would have understood the reference. Otherwise, I have no objections. You keep doing you. (Ba-dum-bum.)

Only tangentially related, we really need to come up with more acceptable term for “doing sexy hand stuff with other people.” Because I’ve heard sex therapists, doctors, etc. say “masturbate each other” and it really makes me cringe. “Manual stimulation” is also not acceptable. I’m looking for something like “fingerlatio” or “handilingus.” You know, something classy.