It would probably be easier to make a list of things the British press haven’t insulted, dragged or derided Meghan Markle over compared to a list of the horrific crimes they’ve accused her of committing. Look at the new Duchess out there breaking centuries-old protocol by *checks notes* not wearing pantyhose, closing her own car doors, talking about feminism, holding her own bump, and having friends nice enough to throw her a baby shower. The Duchess of Sussex has been practically mauled by the tabloids over the most ridiculous perceived slights, and it hasn’t escaped anyone how misogynist and racist a lot of their criticisms have been, implicitly or otherwise. She’s ‘difficult’, nicknamed ‘Me-gain’, she doesn’t want to shut up and play by the rules, why can’t she be like nice, silent Kate Middleton, a woman so petrified of putting a foot wrong in her close to two decades under the harsh gaze of the press that she seldom says a word in public? We’ve documented some of the most egregious nonsense she’s had to put up with since marrying Prince Harry, from her ever so awful dad and half-siblings to the super creepy ‘pregnancy truthers’ to the transparently sexist ‘catfight’ narrative that formed between her and Kate. Surely they’ve exhausted every possible nonsense story by now? Now that her due date is near, maybe, just maybe, the press will give Meghan a damn break?
What’s the latest thing Meghan can’t do right in the eyes of the tabloids? It turns out that she’s made the unforgivable error of wanting to pick her own gynecologist. I know, my friends, it’s too much to take. Various ‘sources’ began to run to the newspapers to let everyone know that Meghan had chosen not to use the Queen’s preferred doctors to help her birth her child. ‘It did leave a few of us a little baffled’, one source told Tatler over the prospect of a woman wanting to have a hand in choosing who gets to look at her genitalia while she pushes a human out of them. She’s ‘broken with royal tradition’ over this choice, the Expressnotes, declaring the royal favourites to be ‘regarded as two of the best gynecologists in the world but it seems Meghan is content on snubbing the team appointed to look after the Queen.’ Can you believe the gall? Clearly she doesn’t want what’s best for her royal baby, right? It’s an ‘astonishing snub’, so says the Daily Mail, who also point out that Meghan wants *gasp* a female doctor leading the delivery team! Women can do that?! I just heard a monocle pop off somewhere.
I'm not sure there's a better advert for why the monarchy is a soul-sucking misogynist institution (or how much the British press loathe Meghan Markle) than the angry reporting around the notion of a woman choosing her own gynaecologist. pic.twitter.com/Wq5l024XPb— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) April 8, 2019
Meghan 'snubs the Queen's doctors and appoints her own team for her birth because she doesn't want "men in suits" delivering her baby' https://t.co/lxQHfnmKsR— Daily Mail U.K. (@DailyMailUK) April 7, 2019
The saddest part of this is that Meghan still needs to have these two doctors in the room at the time of her labour because that’s one bit of royal protocol that’s still in place. Hell, it took them until the 1940s to retire the ‘tradition’ of having the Home Secretary attend the birth to ensure there were no baby swapping shenanigans going on.
It’s bad enough that royal women have to put up with the screaming indignity of losing their privacy. It must be exhausting and emotionally draining to deal with the everyday cycle of overblown headlines and agonizingly detailed dissections of your every fault. Now throw in a pregnancy and the whole world watching your stomach get bigger, commenting on whether it’s appropriate or not for you to touch your own bump in public. Every parenting choice you ever make will become the subject of public debate. Mere hours after pushing an entire tiny human being out of your uterus, you’ll have to be camera ready for the dozens of photographers and avid fans waiting outside the hospital, including town criers and well-dressed dogs and people taking bets on whether you’ll honour your dead mother-in-law by naming the child after her. You know that’s going to engulf your life and still the same creeps will drum up faux anger over your decision to choose your own damn gynecologist?! Christ, women can’t win, but especially Meghan.
Of course, this sh*t is fuelling the creepy conspiracy theorists who think Meghan is somehow bamboozling the entire planet except for them by faking her pregnancy. Clearly, her decision to reject the Queen’s doctors is a sign that she is just wearing a moon bump and this is her way of hiding that (even though technically they still have to be present for the birth because of bloody protocol)? These people, of course, are beyond help.
I shudder to think what poor Meghan and her kid will have to deal with next. See, this is the kind of sh*t that makes me a bad anti-monarchist. See what you’ve done to me, British press?! Team Meghan!
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