Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | August 1, 2025
Hey, ladies. Do you feel like society doesn’t hate you enough? Are you just not getting enough daily messages about how you need to be skinnier, prettier, and more compliant? Don’t worry because Kim Kardashian is here to make things even worse!
That’s right, because now, Kardashian’s shapewear line Skims is selling the Seamless Sculpt Face wrap, which claims to help you sharpen your jaw and get that snatched KimK look. ‘The Ultimate Face—our first-ever face innovation, made with signature sculpting fabric and infused with collagen yarns for ultra-soft jaw support,’ says the product’s description. This big bandage will give you that Death Becomes Her aura and help you to get rid of that pesky un-snatched jaw so that you too can have the same effing face as everyone else.
This face-shapewear (jeez, typing that out made me dizzy) is clearly hopping on the recent ginned-up ‘morning shed’ trend, where women go to sleep wearing an endless array of masks, serums, hair bonnets, and jaw bands in the hope of waking up ready for the patriarchy. It’s no wonder that Kardashian has decided to latch onto it, given that her business model is built upon perpetuating the dumbest beauty standards of the era.
The ‘science’ behind this is also pretty much non-existent. As Cosmopolitan noted in their write-up of this, experts have “not been able to formulate a product where the collagen can penetrate the skin deep enough to really make a significant difference.” Constant pressure on the face can actually be a bad thing, irritating the skin and making it harder for people to breathe if they wear it all night.
But come on, we all know this is nonsense, and we all know that Kim Kardashian isn’t using it. She didn’t get her body shape from her underwear, and she didn’t get her face from some bandages. The Kardashian brand is built upon endless surgeries, augmentations, and chasing of trends (usually those of Black women), then claiming it’s all attainable through make-up, tummy teas, and waist trainers. Just contour and you’ll have cheeks like Kim’s. Pay no attention to the ways in which the entire family is now bragging about their surgeries because it’s become profitable to do so. ‘Radical transparency’, my foot.
I also just resent this idea that women have to be optimising their beauty every damn second of the day. How many steps is my skincare routine meant to be? Oh, I have to do all this crap while I sleep because heaven forbid we not dedicate every moment of our lives to looking beautiful for the sake of men who hate us anyway? We’re always being sold crap that doesn’t work, and we know it doesn’t work, but we can’t call it out for some reason? The sad thing is that I just know this dumb face-wear is going to be all over my social media feeds, and then we’ll get the Shein rip-offs and the reports of increased appointments for chin fat removal. Then there will be another body part that needs fixed, and Kim will have a product for that.
