(WARNING: This is majorly NSFW, as you could probably tell from the title. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.)
Eli Roth’s got a new film coming out. It looks like garbage. But hey, it’s as good a reason as any to dive back into the good old days of 2009, a time before Twitter poisoned the earth, before newspapers were getting mad at selfies, and when LiveJournal was a thriving online community and not a barren wasteland for Russian spambots. Well, barren except for the ever-present gossip community Oh No They Didn’t. Wherever celebrities need to be shit on, ONTD will be there. And for one glimmering moment, they found a cause to unite behind - the desire to fuck the Bear Jew.
When Inglourious Basterds was released, it inevitably became fan-fiction fodder, as any piece of pop culture full of vaguely attractive white men will. Roth found this hilarious and tweeted out that he’d shown some of the X-rated filth not only to his parents but to his co-star, Christoph Waltz.
I just showed my parents and Christoph Waltz the Basterds S&M porn on livejournal. The look on his face is worth the price of admission.— Eli Roth (@eliroth) September 26, 2009
Bless poor Christoph (easily the hottest cast member of the film), who found the whole internet thing a bit too much.
I'm showing Christoph how twitter works. I just updated and he asked me "Does this go out to everyone's Blueberry?"— Eli Roth (@eliroth) September 26, 2009
Having crossed the streams into fandom territory, the floodgates were opened and soon fans were chatting with him, getting flirty, and by the end of the night, Roth was sending photos of himself in his swimming pool seductively eating blueberries.
No, it didn’t stop there.
And no, this wasn’t just Eli Roth showboating. He full on cyber-fucked ONTD. He wants it fast and deep, ladies.
Say what you want but he certainly committed. He showed more artistic range with his internet fucking than he has in any of his films. He wasn’t ashamed of it either, and wrote a very long rant about why it was awesome. Kudos to Celebitchy and of course ONTD for keeping the receipts on all this.