That’s right, my friends, it’s time for another round of everyone’s least favourite game snow, What Is Everyone Blaming Meghan Markle For Now?! We’ve got a great show for you today, as we gather to watch the exhausting hilarity that is the British press scramble like eggs to blame the Duchess of Sussex for the world’s ills. Is the monarchy crumbling? It’s her fault. Do you have an issue with something that’s been an inherent problem of royalty for centuries? Blame Meghan. The ring came off your pudding can? Meghan stole your penknife, my good man!
This weekend, Meghan and Harry will christen baby Archie Harrison in the Queen’s private chapel in Windsor Castle. Royal christenings are not usually open to the public but they are held in venues public enough for people to come and gawk at the baby and whoever has been invited to watch the occasion. Meghan and Harry, who have elected to keep their own kid’s life as private as possible, are choosing a different route. And why not? Archie isn’t in line to the throne. He doesn’t have a royal title. Are the British public really that desperate to see this kid’s life unfold Truman Show style?
But of course this has set off the usual suspects. Piers Morgan got in on the action because he cannot help himself, and royal experts slammed the decision by claiming the couple can’t ‘have it both ways.’ The news comes following the revelations that the Sussex clan’s renovations of Frogmore Cottage cost around £2.4 million of taxpayer money. So that is now being used as the battering ram du jour against Meghan. Usually, they just go for her being an ‘unclassy’ American or find new euphemisms for ‘she’s black.’ But here’s the thing: Yes, it is f*cking criminal that so much taxpayer money goes towards royals. I’m against it wholeheartedly. Seriously, have you seen the size of Frogmore Cottage? It could fit about 20 actual cottages inside it! But come on, isn’t it a wee bit transparent that decades of wasteful tax expenditure on this family is now all Meghan’s fault? A reminder that William and Kate’s renovations on Kensington Palace cost more than £4 million.
Once again, this nonsense ties me up in my least favourite conundrum: Death to the monarchy but also protect Meghan at all costs, because the way the British press have so blatantly tried to turn her into public enemy number one is utter nonsense that’s primarily rooted in racism, misogyny, and xenophobia.
And it’s not like we don’t see pictures of the kid. Sure, they’re artfully posed ones on Instagram that mostly hide his face, but seriously, he’s a baby. He’s not up to much right now. Wait until he goes wild like his old man in his teen years (preferably without the Nazi costume).
Tune in next time for the spine-tingling continuation of What Is Everyone Blaming Meghan Markle For Now?! Cue the music!
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