Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | December 15, 2025
So, every now and then, I see a tweet or TikTok from some straight dude claiming that women are only into apex predator men with alpha vibes and eight-pack abs you could grate cheese against. It’s funny for many reasons, as well as an outright lie. Sure, tastes differ among us women who, for better or worse, think guys are cute. But I’d hazard a guess that most women I know, myself included, would rather go for the funny guy with lots of self-confidence over the insecure podcast bro. Elle Fanning gets it.
When she did a lie detector interview with her sister Dakota for Vanity Fair, she proudly let the world know about her crush on Jack Black. She declared, “He is the hottest man I’ve ever seen in my life—hot. Like ‘sex on legs’ hot.” And you know what? She’s right. Do you know how many women I know would go absolutely feral for Jack Black, given the opportunity? He’s objectively hot: a funny guy who likes rock music, can make fun of himself without being self-loathing about it, and can outdo you in any karaoke session? We’re in.
Black is now on the promotional trail for Anaconda, so of course Sony had to show him the clip of Elle Fanning preparing to leave her boyfriend for him.
He’s clearly rather befuddled by it, but handles it with some solid self-deprecation. “Have you ever heard of body dysmorphia?” he asked. “She looks at me — which objectively is a goblin gremlin — and she sees this gorgeous creature.” He described her crush as “goblin dysmorphia”, which is a very funny phrase but also, dude, you’re not a goblin. But some women are super into that anyway. Monster romances, babe. It’s a thing. Grateful for Fanning’s kind words, Black said, “I appreciate it, but I have to close my eyes because I can’t quite process what I’m hearing there. But thank you, Elle.”
Putting aside the awkwardness of asking any celebrity to respond to an industry colleague fancying them, I do hope that Black is aware of his status as a desirable dude. Let’s see this guy do another rom-com like The Holiday. We need more leading men who don’t have to dehydrate themselves for days to get maximum muscle definition for shirtless scenes. Let the men eat carbs!
