Dear, Brad Pitt: Please Chill So We Can Keep Drinking Miraval

By Emma Chance | Celebrity | July 13, 2023 |

By Emma Chance | Celebrity | July 13, 2023 |

Much has been made of the Brangelina divorce. The child custody proceedings have been upsetting, the allegations of abuse are upsetting, and Brad Pitt’s handling of the whole situation continues to be … upsetting. It’s all very upsetting.

Another unfortunate consequence, however, is the rosé, and that it might go down with the ship. It’s really very good, much better than Whispering Angel (which tastes like melted-down cotton candy). It was named the “Most Desirable Provence Rosé Wine in the World” in May of this year. The fact that this vineyard, which existed for generations before Brad Pitt somehow, accidentally, found it, ended up producing the best rosé on the market under his tutelage, is exactly the thing that the name literally means in French: a miracle.

It has become clear that Miraval was Pitt’s baby. For Jolie, the vineyard was a place to raise her kids away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi. But Pitt, a man who, according to furniture maker and wine enthusiast Frank Pollaro, preferred Heineken to anything else, got in on the rosé craze when the getting was good. He partnered up with the right people at the right time who knew what they were doing, and what started as a monument to his family turned into a business opportunity he couldn’t pass up.

Such was his downfall. Pitt spoke about his substance abuse issues with GQ in 2017:

“I can’t remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn’t boozing or had a spliff, or something. Something. And you realize that a lot of it is … you know, pacifiers. And I’m running from feelings. I’m really, really happy to be done with all of that. I mean I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year … I was boozing too much. It’s just become a problem.”

Hopefully, he means what he says and he’s saying goodbye to all that. Hopefully, he leaves the rosé behind for the good of himself and his family.

And hopefully the new guys keep making that pink nectar of the gods exactly like he did.