“I have no regrets. None. I was happy,” the recently retired Late Show host said at a comedy show in San Antonio Friday night. “And then a couple days ago Donald Trump said he was running for president. I have made the biggest mistake of my life, ladies and gentlemen.”
But David Letterman won’t punish you for this error in fate. So he shared with Martin Short, Steve Martin and the audience a Top 10 list of “facts” about presidential hopeless Trump. And now you can see it too:
“During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.”
Thanks for that mental image, Dave.
In the wake of Trump’s racist remarks, the man with an ego the size of the Towers that bear his name took a big hit in the business world, yet refused to back down on claims that Mexico sends criminals and rapists illegally cross the U.S. border. Instead, Trump declared, “Somebody’s doing the raping.”
Predictably, Trump’s accusations have earned outrage and eyerolls from just about everyone with two braincells to rub together. And now they’ve even earned the ire of conservative mogul/emperor of Fox News Rupert Murdoch:
Mexican immigrants, as with all immigrants, have much lower crime rates than native born. Eg El Paso safest city in U.S. Trump wrong.— Rupert Murdoch (@rupertmurdoch) July 12, 2015
Trump popularity based on frustration with DC and endless regulations over people's lives. Thought this was Rand Paul's issue.— Rupert Murdoch (@rupertmurdoch) July 12, 2015
After all the hubbub over his Miss USA, the Donald didn’t even go! Probably for the best. Congrats to Oklahoma’s Olivia Jordan for taking the crown.
In the crowded field for the Republican nomination for president, Trump’s main competitor is currently Jeb Bush, who’s publicly denounced Trump’s remarks on Mexicans. In response, Trump has called Bush “weak on immigration…and that’s his prerogative” even as his own company may be employing construction workers who are in the U.S. without a visa. Confronted on this hypocrisy by Anderson Cooper, Trump basically said the Washington Post would “have to give us the names” of their sources—the undocumented workers—before Trump will believe/respond.
“Doesn’t the buck stop with you though?” Cooper asked. And even though Trump replied immediately with “Absolutely,” he then went on to blather about how the paper is lying, without directly saying that.
Cooper also pushed to find out how much all these hateful comments are costing Trump financially. “It’s a lot of money, but fortunately I’m very rich it doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is making America great.”
Kristy Puchko has been staring at Trump footage for so long his hair has become a Magic Eye. And it’s terrifying.