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Keanu Reeves And Winona Ryder Are Trying To Kill Us

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | August 23, 2018 |

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | August 23, 2018 |


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Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder have defined cool for about 30 years. With the chic flip of a long dark lock of hair, a slight smirk, a ’90s-era eyeroll, they won our hearts early and made them swell often. Many of us grew up in awe of them. So perhaps it’s fitting that the press tour for their new movie, Destintion Wedding, may be the end of us. Because with each bit of interview duetting that hits, our hearts quiver so intensely they may just explode.

First, Ryder set the internet and our minds ablaze with the revelation that she and Reeves maybe got accidentally married while making Bram Stoker’s Dracula 24 years ago. Then—while we were still trying to tame our lions and catch our breaths over this secret nuptials that shifts our very understanding of the ’90s as we know it—video dropped in which this tantalizing two confessed they’ve held a “healthy crush” for each other for decades.

Please note that when asked why they can remember the very moment they first met, Reeves simply gestures to Ryder, as if to say, “All of this. She’s Winona Fucking Ryder!”

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Then, the timelines of Twitter were blessed with this titillating tidbit.

What’s the context? WHO CARES? Do not look a gift Ryder in the mouth. JUST APPRECIATE THE GLORY THAT COMES OUT OF HER MOUTH.

This mutual admiration society of two of the coolest stars to ever live is bringing us to our knees. And we’re not mad at it. Now if we can just hang in there until August 31, when Destination Wedding hits theaters.