It’s happened. Matt Damon has risen from his love nest filled with wife and daughters, and he has a ponytail. It was for a press conference* or something. But the internet doesn’t care about that because ponytail.
So Matt Damon has a ponytail now pic.twitter.com/wu7nDju2SK— Marc Snetiker (@MarcSnetiker) July 2, 2015
i’ve spent 10 whole minutes debating if i have the time to go to matt damon’s IMDB page to find a movie title for a ponytail pun.— pilot (@pilotbacon) July 2, 2015
i blame matt damon's ponytail for the fact that i got NOTHING DONE TODAY.— Tanya Ghahremani (@tanyaghahremani) July 2, 2015
Personally, I like it. But that’s because it reminds me of some of my biggest celebrity crushes from my impressionable years. I mean, tell me you behold those Damon waves and not think of this guy:
10 Things I Hate About You Heath Ledger, who played with fire (literally) and did a big song and dance number? Who could fault Damon for wanting to embody that brand of dreamy?
My other wavy-haired crush who could rock a ponytail? Kurt Russell. More specifically, Captain Ron.
He had a thirst for adventure, a devil-may-care attitude and the long luscious locks of a modern day pirate. Sure going to his bunk would probably make you come away with something scarier than scurvy, but I can see this silly seaman’s fun-loving side appealing to the 30 Rock’s Carol.
Or maybe Damon is taking a cue from some of Hollywood’s favorite rough and tumble tough guys, like Matthew McConaughey and Russell Crowe.
Perhaps he’s trying to weave his way into some of our favorite properties, ones where long flowy man hair is properly appreciated.
Whatever his reason, you do you, Matt. Or we’d do you. Whatevs.
*Upon further evaluation this was a press conference for The Great Wall, starring Damon, Willem Dafoe and lions-riler Pedro Pascal, directed by celebrated Chinese filmmaker Yimou Zhang. So, that’s rad. But it doesn’t come out in the U.S. until the fall of 2016. So that blows.
Kristy Puchko is now hunting down a copy of Captain Ron.