Put Chris Evans in a Musical, You Cowards!

The Hollywood Reporter has a new profile on Chris Evans, written by Alex Pappademas. It’s a wide-reaching piece that digs into Evans’s career, his time as Captain America, his love of Tom Brady combined with his hatred for Trump, and his future as an actor. It’s definitely worth your time, and not just for the very lovely accompanying photographs, I swear! But the bit that caught our eye was his confession to being a musical theatre kid. He played Randolph MacAfee in Bye Bye Birdie as a kid but still harbours dreams of doing a big-screen musical.

To this day, Evans says, “I want to do a musical so badly, man. Someone told me they’re [remaking] Little Shop of Horrors and I was like, ‘Oh, can I be down? Please? Can I be the dentist?’ When I first came out here, early 2000s, there were rumblings about Spielberg maybe doing West Side Story. That’s one of my favorite musicals. I did it when I was in high school. And obviously he’s doing it now, and I called my team and they were like, Chris — maybe Krupke. You can’t. You’re too old. It’s so hard to hear.”

Yes. Yes, let’s make this happen. You want to secure that Best Chris status? Then sing for us, our angel of Massachusetts bros! Can he sing? No idea, but I’m all for hearing him try. A remake of Little Shop of Horrors has been in the works for a while, with Greg Berlanti set to direct it, but no casting has ever been announced. We’re all for Chris Evans being the dentist. Just imagine his character in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World but with drills.

But what other musicals could he do? The Sunset Boulevard musical is getting a movie soon, and Glenn Close’s Oscar vehicle deserves a hunky side-piece to be her William Holden. I’m sure Evans would oblige. I don’t ever want to hear men who aren’t Raul Esparza sing ‘Being Alive’ but I would not be against Evans as Bobby in Company. He’s definitely too old to be Fiyero in Wicked but we could make it work. I am, however, against calls for him to be Nathan Detroit in the planned Guys & Dolls remake. That honour belongs to the other Chris, Mr. Pine.

Casting ideas, my friends? Let us know in the comments. Casting directors, don’t blow this priceless opportunity to fulfill a bro’s dream.