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Bored Overlords Mock Justin Bieber's Newly Tattooed Torso

By Pajiba Staff | Celebrity | October 25, 2017 |

By Pajiba Staff | Celebrity | October 25, 2017 |

It’s a slow news day out there EXCEPT FOR ALL THE EROSION OF CONSTITUTIONAL NORMS, so when Justin Bieber’s new tattoo came across our “desk,” we took a brief respite from the daily onslaught of Trump madness and sexual assault to snark. We are assuredly not alone, as this Instagram post has been seen 10 million times in the last four days, and I doubt all of those views were from people looking for inspiration for their next tattoos.

(Click to see the tattoo move to uplifting music!)

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

Good God. He looks like a low-level dealer in a heroin town. Wait, I think heroin is too chic for him. He slings oxy. He’s giving me Aaron Carter vibes. Like, I feel his story is gonna keep getting more and more depressing.

It’s like a lizard and a lion and a bear and OH MY GOD Justin Bieber is opening a zoo on his torso. But like, the Cincinnati Zoo where you are concerned the lions might get maimed in a drive-by.

It also makes his nipples seem weirdly obscene. Like, EXTRA naked. No one needs Bieber Nipple Focus Vision.

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

I’m less concerned with the tattoo and more upset with his lack of selfie skill. Like, poorly lit bathroom? Mirror reflection? ARE YOU A FUCKING AMATEUR?

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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