Ha! Bill Cosby Loses Appeal of Sexual Assault Conviction

A Pennsylvania appeals court rejected Bill Cosby’s bid to overturn his sexual assault conviction this week. The former comedian, who is currently serving a three- to ten-year prison sentence for an attack that occurred in 2004, has denied all claims of rape and sexual assault, some of which date back to the 1960s.

His legal team tried to argue that the Philadelphia judge presiding over the case had improperly allowed five other accusers to testify in the retrial, even though only one woman had testified in the first trial. The Superior court of the state said that the law allows for this since these testimonies were used to establish a “signature” pattern of drugging and attacking women.

Lawyers for Cosby had argued eight issues on appeal and have claimed that Cosby had what The Hollywood Reporter describes as a ‘binding promise’ from a former prosecutor that he would never be charged in the case ‘and could testify freely at a deposition in accuser Andrea Constand’s related lawsuit.’ He is now free to ask the state Supreme Court to consider his appeal.

Cosby and his legal team continue to try and paint the many accusers as gold-diggers out to tarnish the reputation of a national treasure because as we all know, there’s no better way to secure millions of dollars and the irrevocable loyalty of the general public than by faking a rape accusation. Think of all those women who are A-List celebrities today because of this. It’s totally a real thing, eh, Bill?

I don’t know why you’re so keen to get out of prison anyway, Bill. Didn’t you say you were loving it? Why not stay even longer?