Ah, Coachella. That too cool for school music festival that everyone alive is at least a decade too old for. What started as a low-key music festival has become a multi-million dollar corporate dream, with countless art installations, commercial partnerships, and endless opportunities for white people to wear Native American head-dresses, bindis, and whatever cultural appropriation act is in at the moment.
Even talking about it makes me feel like I should start screaming at some darn kids to get off my lawn. But this year, it seems like the line-up has much to offer the discerning music fan. Yeah, BEYONCÉ IS HEADLINING! She was supposed to do so last year, but cancelled due to her pregnancy and was replaced by Lady Gags. This year, she returns to the top stage, where she’ll lead Saturday night’s proceedings, bookmarked by The Weeknd and Eminem, himself returning to touring after a seven year break.
Other notable acts on the Coachella line-up include SZA, Miguel, Cardi B, Jamiroquai, St. Vincent, David Byrne, Fleet Foxes, Haim, and many more people I’ve never heard of because I’m an old lady yelling at clouds.
Coachella’s official website are selling general admission tickets at $429, and VIP passes at $999. So yeah, you’re probably not going to see Beyoncé. Sorry. Enjoy Beyoncé live at Glastonbury from 2011.