By Tori Preston | Celebrity | May 2, 2018 |
By Tori Preston | Celebrity | May 2, 2018 |
Twitter seems to exist purely to give people the opportunity to a) say dumb shit, and b) get angry about dumb shit other people have said. It’s an ecosystem that brings out the best witticisms and the worst hot-takes humanity has to offer, but in that balance sometimes important conversations evolve. And when you stumble across one, it can be hard to trace the smaller interactions that led up to That Thing Someone Said That Maybe They Shouldn’t Have, But That They Want To Defend, But Also Maybe They Should Just STOP. Which is why I just spent a ridiculous amount of time and energy trying to figure out what Zachary “Chuck” Levi did to piss off the Twitterverse.
Now, this isn’t the first time Zachary Levi has gotten a big ol’ taste of his foot. Frankly, I’ve never given much thought to the guy. He seems… nice? I guess? He’s playing the superhero alter ego of a child in DC’s upcoming Shazam! movie, which seems appropriate. And I know he founded The Nerd Machine/Nerd HQ, which hosts panels and parties at conventions and often engaged in charity events (usually connected to Operation Smile). Basically, if you were to look up “Well-Meaning Nice Guy” in the dictionary, his picture would be there.
But as we all know, Well-Meaning Nice Guys don’t always get it. “It” in this case being why women or people of color might be upset about a white dude lecturing them on what is or isn’t sexism/racism.
And, with all due respect to you, saying that men can’t lead meaningful conversations about sexism, and that white people can’t lead meaningful conversations about racism, is both sexist and racist. Truth doesn’t care about privilege, nor do those who seek it. 🙠https://t.co/JxQP0P4h3u
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) May 1, 2018
Yeahhhhh. So, what led up to this particular interaction? From what I could tell, in the time I definitely could have better spent doing basically anything else, this has been brewing over the course of weeks. Apparently, Levi is a very active Twitterererer, and his fans have taken to asking him for advice — which he is very responsive to, and seems to enjoy dishing out. So when he got this question…
@ZacharyLevi how did you go about approaching your crush in high school? I assume it was easy for a big buff superhero like yourself, but any advice for the average looking males like me?
— GC Greene (@GriffGC) April 21, 2018
… he gave this answer:
Bruh. I had no game in high school. None. I was the guy girls “friend zoned” right off the bat, and whose shoulder they’d cry on complaining about the guys I wanted to be. 🤷â€â™‚ï¸ https://t.co/iQwt8uPIx6
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) April 21, 2018
And guess what! That friend-zoning comment pissed a LOT of people off:
Wow, I just lost so much respect for you. You were not “friend zoned” because that is not a REAL THING. You were just a friend & that’s not their fault. You were girlfriendzoning them. Did you ever ask them out or are you just whining about it 20 years later?
— Caroline! at the Beach (@xcarex) April 21, 2018
How awful that women thought of you as an equal intellectual peer and friend rather than simply a potential romantic partner. You must have felt so one-dimensional and disregarded.
— Mo Stewart (@fried_madness) April 21, 2018
And then other people jumped to Levi’s defense, and it turned into a whole thing. Enough of a thing, in fact, that Levi decided to address the topic in a (very long) live Instagram session, where he defended the comment as his own “personal experience” based on his own personal definition of what friend-zoning is, and said he felt bad for the people who responded negatively because there must be “something very wrong with them.”
Yes, really.
But to his credit, he then invited people to stream into the video and engage with him on the topic in the interest of trying to understand the different perspectives. Here’s part one, if you’re interested:
His reason for doing the video seemed to be to make the conversation more personal, because what seemed to really bother him about the reaction on Twitter was that everyone just got angry, but nobody was trying to educate. Which… fine.
So where is all of this going? Well, this week a fan posted a note about something Levi said in one of his live video sessions (I’m guessing the one I referenced above).
Something @ZacharyLevi said has really got me thinking lately… pic.twitter.com/BMrGqsc3U0
— ðŸ¼Sebastian🼠(@StoriesWithSeb) April 30, 2018
Levi then responded to the tweet:
Precisely. Conduct yourself online in the same way you’d conduct yourself in real life. Dasswassup. 🙌 https://t.co/efgVN1PTHg
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) April 30, 2018
And in the comments on HIS tweet… well, shit got nasty. One user in particular took him to task, and Levi did his thing where he just kept responding:
FYI, like you a lot but I would absolutely tell you that “the friend zone” was a Bullshit concept with a sexist history in person. I would have told you at the stage door for “She Loves Me” where I was so excited to meet you a few years ago. Because it is.
— Shades of Limelight (@CertainshadesL) April 30, 2018
And I would’ve politely told you that you’re entitled to your opinion, as it’s just that. You may feel very strongly about it, but feelings do not equal fact, no matter how intense. Also, calling someone else’s thoughts “bullshit” isn’t a very productive way of changing a mind.🙠https://t.co/0sDhjHwWsS
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) April 30, 2018
https://t.co/Gg8jQcW5xb. Here is another resource. All anyone asked you to do was try and reflect on why this is a sexist concept. Your subsequent behavior has cost you a genuine fan.
— Shades of Limelight (@CertainshadesL) April 30, 2018
I did read the @vicenews article. From my perspective it is a myopic op-ed at best, and an op-ed making egregious, damning, sweeping generalizations of all men at worst. It is very clear why you feel the way you do, but that doesn’t obligate me to agree with you. 🤷â€â™‚ï¸ https://t.co/E8cLYOTY44
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) May 1, 2018
With all due respect to him, men really shouldn’t be leading debates about what is and isn’t sexist anymore than white people should be leading convos about what is and isn’t racist. I’m a huge fan of his but this is super disappointing.
— Shades of Limelight (@CertainshadesL) April 30, 2018
And, with all due respect to you, saying that men can’t lead meaningful conversations about sexism, and that white people can’t lead meaningful conversations about racism, is both sexist and racist. Truth doesn’t care about privilege, nor do those who seek it. 🙠https://t.co/JxQP0P4h3u
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) May 1, 2018
Annnnd now we’re back where we started. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE… in the form of a long-ass note he posted, which again tries to defend/justify his position on all of this:
Because 280 characters is never, ever enough to explain what you mean. Truth is, these 3 pics barely cover it, but I’m tryin folks. I really am. 🙠pic.twitter.com/QduCN5Et14
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) May 1, 2018
Look, it’s great that Levi is trying to use his privilege and platform to bring people together. The problem is that his reaction to reasonable criticism is to assume he’s being silenced and that it constitutes discrimination.
DUDE. Nobody wants to silence you. They just want you to stop trying to “lead” the conversation. Because frankly, white men have been in the position to “lead” conversations about sexism and racism since FOREVER and they fucking haven’t. Besides which, your attempts to “lead” conversations seem to just “lead” to you getting defensive when people disagree with you. So instead, take your privilege, and your platform, and use it to shine a light on the voices that HAVEN’T been given the opportunities that white men have. And then sit back and truly LISTEN, even when it’s uncomfortable. And if at the end of it, your opinions haven’t been swayed, then that’s OK. Your perspective is your own. Nobody can take it away from you. But realize that when you rush to defend yourself from what you perceive as attacks, you’re really just digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself.
So Mr. Levi: Take a moment to sit back and think about how it felt when you thought people were dismissing your opinions and belittling your point of view. Now think about how it feels for women, and people of color, and anyone else who has always had their perspectives discounted or dismissed, and who didn’t have the privilege or position to defend themselves. I believe that you mean well, and you want to give people opportunities to come together in discourse. But when they try to actually engage with you on things they disagree with you on, mayyyybe don’t shout them down so quickly.
Because even Well-Meaning Nice Guys get things wrong sometimes. How you handle it matters. And giving people a chance to speak isn’t the same as truly listening to them.