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"This Cafeteria is Officially Declared a Bitch-Free Zone."

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (34)



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Community (Rating: 7.1)

“Bring it in for a boob bump, ladies.” (Bonus points for being delivered by Alison Brie)

“This cafeteria is officially declared a bitch-free zone.”

“I’m gonna slit your butt’s throat.”

“Let me buy you some ice cream. My white guilt is doing somersaults.”

(Extra Credit to Chang’s hilarious series of “Oh, Snaps.”)

(Double Extra Bonus Points for the Troy and Jeff subplot based on The Secret Garden, of all movies.)

30 Rock (Rating: 8.7)

“I’m looking for DICK, Avery, and I’m gonna take it wherever I can find it.”

“Telephone etiquette is important, Liz. It lets people know your race even when they can’t see you.”

“I played Arts and Literature in the film adaptation of Trivial Pursuit.”

“Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven’t you ever read my throw pillow?”

“Jenna, you ripped through our lives like the passing of the wind.”

“Lemon is above average. She has just the right amount of DICK for me.”

“I’m a corrupt cop. My brother is a corrupt fireman. He’s going to set you on fire, and I’m not going to investigate.”

“Every Tina I know is a real judgmental bitch.”

The Office (Rating: 3.8)

“I think she was Sconesy Cider, Noted Baptism Reception Critic.”

“I love ‘Lake Wobblegone!’”

Outsourced (Rating: 3.4)

“This was supposed to end like a Bollywood movie. I thought by now we’d be celebrating your love with a coordinated dance.”










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Comments

The World's Only All Giraffe basketball team.
The New York Necks.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 5, 2010 10:46 AM

But the trampoline sequence music was from something else, right? IT WAS REALLY BOTHERING ME. I HATE NOT GETTING REFERENCES.

Posted by: coveredinbees at November 5, 2010 10:47 AM

Working at a certain toy company, as I do, the "Trivial Pursuit" line got me good. I can see the pitch now...


"It's like Jumanji... but with TRIVIA!"

$50 million opening weekend.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at November 5, 2010 10:54 AM

I think Schmitty breaking down Dennis' restaurant ordering system on Sunny was pretty awesome.

Posted by: Julie at November 5, 2010 10:56 AM

Are those the viewership ratings next to the series names, Dustin? If so, I am quite overjoyed to see Community above a 7. However, if it's some sort of bizarre 10-point rating scale you've divised for quick, to-the-point criticism, I'm less than enthused. For the reveal of Joshua the Secret Gardner being an unrepentant racist, it's at least an 8.632.

Posted by: RobP at November 5, 2010 11:04 AM

What about poor Toby's plea at church: "Why are you so mean to me?"

Posted by: badkittyuno at November 5, 2010 11:34 AM

Do people actually watch Outsourced?

Why is NBC going out of their way, standing on their head, to promote this stupid show? They give it a cherry timeslot, hype the hell out of it, it gets pretty bad ratings, and NBC goes out of their way to bolster and support it. Why? Why put so much importance on a show that is so dumb and so disposable?

Posted by: litmus0001 at November 5, 2010 11:40 AM

And the payoff to the DICK jokes with Jack saying "I hear it. And I don't care."

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 5, 2010 11:41 AM

covered in bees, I think the trampoline music was from American Beauty.

Posted by: courtsinsession at November 5, 2010 11:53 AM

Thanks. I'll have to listen to both.

p.s. If someone were to dress as Rowboat Cop it might be my new favorite pun costume replacing my friend's Boba Fett-ish costume from this year's Halloween. Dented helmet and riding crop FTW, there.

Posted by: coveredinbees at November 5, 2010 11:59 AM

Pierce: "These balls, on YOUR butts"

Posted by: Riles at November 5, 2010 12:57 PM

Community
Jeff: It's like wearing a pair of dreams.

The Office
Pam: You said you checked the bag before we left.
Jim: I did...say that.

30 Rock
Jack: You are a veritable onslaught of never ending dysfunction.

The Office gets points for showing us the Michael Scott Enthusiasm Express crash in all its horrific glory. We always see him get fired up about something but rarely do we then watch in almost slow motion as the buyers remorse kicks in.

And I think 30 Rock showed last night that if Alec leaves the show it's going to be a disaster. The comraderie/dysfunction of Liz and Jack is what makes that show so special.

Posted by: TylerDFC at November 5, 2010 1:03 PM

I'm not ashamed to say I've watched The Secret Garden a billion times, and when Troy walked through that wooden door I totally squealed.

Abed's robocop visions were pretty amusing too. "level of bitchiness: 71%"

Posted by: Holly at November 5, 2010 1:33 PM

"GO NECKS!"

Posted by: JFD at November 5, 2010 1:58 PM

One of the funniest things I thought, was Jeff and Troy thinking back on what might have tipped them off about the gardener being a racist. The first 2 things he says are kind of vague, but then showing him with the swastika tattoo, with him saying that its going to be a maze when its finished had me howling with laughter.

Posted by: odin42 at November 5, 2010 3:04 PM

I liked the Outsourced episode this week. I thought it was sweet. It just made a straight male say "sweet".

Posted by: JapJay at November 5, 2010 3:17 PM

I don't understand all the Outsourced hate. The way NBC markets it is fucking stupid, but the show is kind of okay. Or maybe it's the crazy hot Aussie.

Posted by: sailboat at November 5, 2010 3:50 PM

My favorite line was from the Office, when Andy was mocking one of the Youth Ministry kids:
"What if the moon were your car and Jupiter was your hairbrush?"

It was the look on his face after he said it that sold the line.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 5, 2010 4:16 PM

Is it me, or was the 30 Rock episode incredibly dark? The scenes in Liz's apartment and the nightclub were so dark I could barely see what was going on.

Posted by: The Mutt at November 5, 2010 4:41 PM

I'm with Mel, that line was hilarious. Also there should be a special award for how horribly Andy Bernard dresses. There was a BOWTIE. I love him so much.

And yeah, Outsourced can be pretty good at times. I've said it before: the Indian actors save that show every single time. Specially the girl who plays Madhuri. I admit I watch it mostly because it's right on after The Office, but it's a nice way to end the night.

Posted by: figgy at November 5, 2010 6:19 PM

How could you leave out the best line from 30 Rock?

"I was gonna take this class called 'Cooking For One,' but the teacher killed himself."

Posted by: Lucas at November 5, 2010 6:23 PM

And it's good to know that was the Secret Garden. I was in that play as a kid (as a minor role that wasn't in the movie and as a cholera victim). It seemed like that's what they were referencing, but I wasn't sure.

Posted by: Lucas at November 5, 2010 6:26 PM

Thank you for reminding me of those lines, Optimus Rhyme. Definitely the best of the night.

30 Rock was great last night. I liked Community too. I think they're ruining Allison Brie's character a little though. I used to think she was adorable but when she delivered that "boob bump" line last night I was thinking: Come on Community, this is below you.

Posted by: becks at November 5, 2010 7:07 PM

Becks - I think that was the joke, the fact that Annie is trying way, WAY too hard to be what she thinks is cool.

Posted by: Shane at November 5, 2010 7:33 PM

Well, maybe not to be cool but to be down with the girl power vibe Britta gives off. I got that too. I just didn't think the joke was funny.

I'm scared they're about to turn Annie into something she isn't as a result of all the sex talk Brie's been doing in the media. I liked the crazy, straight-laced overachiever Annie better. Now it seems like they mention her boobs every episode. She's worth more than that as a character.

Posted by: becks at November 5, 2010 9:04 PM

That racist gardener reveal in Community made my day, that was the best part of any comedy this week.

Posted by: Radlum at November 5, 2010 10:11 PM

Abed's robocop visions were pretty amusing too. "level of bitchiness: 71%"

Posted by: Holly at November 5, 2010 1:33 PM

If you have the episode on a medium you can pause, all of Abed's Robocop visions have lots more funny content. Check it out if you can.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at November 5, 2010 10:47 PM

I kind of agree, Becks. I'm not actually upset about anything yet, but I am nervous. I miss "And maybe if everyone was a little more like me, we wouldn't have to HAVE an STD fair!" Annie.

Giant thumb in a turtle neck. Hee. Bless this show.

Still loved tonight's episode, though. It and Psychology of Letting Go were my favourites of the season.

It seems like I just don't go for the reference heavy episodes. Modern Warfare was great, especially on re-watch (I admit I wasn't a huge fan at first, although I never hated it), but American Poultry and Basic Epidemiology were pretty bad, IMO, only saved by the fact that I like and enjoy watching pretty much the whole cast do pretty much anything.

Posted by: dsbs at November 5, 2010 10:50 PM

However, if it's some sort of bizarre 10-point rating scale you've devised for quick, to-the-point criticism, I'm less than enthused.

I endorse this message.

I also liked the flashback scene in Community when the gardener pointed at his swastika tattoo and said, "It's going to be a maze."

Posted by: Uda at November 6, 2010 4:06 AM

Boob bump aside, poor choice in choosing lines from community.

The best ones were the awesome insults.

Namely, have you seen your face? It looks like your mother was a lizard who was raped by a muppet.

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at November 6, 2010 11:32 AM

I adore NBC's Thursday night line-up for the most part (and very glad that many Pajibans like it as well). But I kinda miss "Parks and Rec". Though it was my least favorite show in the line-up, I still find it more palatable than "Outsourced".

I dunno, perhaps being an unemployed-for-more-than-a-year-now college grad sours the premise of "Outsourced" for me, but I so disdain the show that I will change it to literally ANYTHING else (or get off my duff and actually find something to DO) for 30 mins until "The Apprentice" (an aside: I'm no fan of Trump, but the show finally managed to capture my attention this season, and buoys me over suitably to my 11:00/11:30 Simpsons/Family Guy reruns).

Posted by: Lisa at November 6, 2010 3:03 PM

They were referencing The Secret Garden, Cocoon, and something else I cannot place. I know I've seen people reacting that way, like there was something amazing that they were sharing but couldn't explain it to anyone else. The smiles and reactions were already in my cinematic memory banks, but I can't place the movie.

Though the gardener being racist makes me think that it might be a clue, I just left it. I'm not going to spin my wheels trying to remember. The first scene where all the time was passing quickly and they were just smiling peacefully was awesome. Great episode. Chang cracked my shit up.

30 Rock, also excellent. Though it's DICC.

As was The League, however sexist it may sway.

Do we just disqualify those pointedly masculine shows from our admiration? Boardwalk gets no love. Eastbound and Down is better than it ever has been, and the latest episode is my nom for best comedy of the week, ousted from #1 by only Walking Dead. Not that Zombies are manly. I'd argue that they are especially post-gender apparent.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at November 7, 2010 10:39 AM

Does anyone know what the "bitch free zone" line is from?... I assume it was from some movie, because it was way too odd.

Plus, of all these quotes.. how is "That diss made me snarf yo!"(Prof Chang) not listed!?? I thought it was one of the funniest lines ever said on TV.... yet I saw it no where! I was shocked.

Posted by: gp at November 15, 2010 2:22 PM

What exactly are some really good music players for kids? My cousin is 5 yoa and for christmas I'd like to see to buy her a ipod, she loves my nano but I think it becomes difficult for her to work with it. Are there make available ones for kids?

Posted by: MP3 players for kids at March 18, 2011 7:02 PM