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Heroes vs. Nimwits

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (12)



survivor-finale.jpg

Two of the three best (and the only really good) competitive reality shows on television, “Survivor” and “The Amazing Race” (the other being “Top Chef”) have recently kicked off their 20th and 16th cycles, respectively. A decade now since “Survivor” premiered (and nine years since “The Amazing Race” began its run), the two shows are, surprisingly, as strong as ever. Indeed, both of these shows (which air on CBS) have little in common with the proliferation of terrible competitive reality shows that have pock-marked our TV schedules in the wake of the success of “Survivor”: They aren’t about talent, they aren’t about singing, dancing, modeling, cooking, sewing, or weight loss. More than anything, they are about human drama, and during the seasons in which these two shows have cast the right humans, the drama is unparalleled on competitive reality television.

“Survivor” more or less kicked off the competitive reality genre back in 2000 (when it was the highest-rated summer program of all time) and has found ways since to the stay fresh despite a premise that’s remained fairly static: 16 to 20 people are marooned on an isolated island, and one player is voted off each week until there’s only one left. The challenges are usually creative, and the game play is sometimes fierce, but what it comes down to are the players, and no one does a better job of casting than “Survivor.”

“Survivor’s” 20th cycle is another edition of its All Stars, this time pitting the Heroes against the Villains, bringing back 20 of the most notable participants of the last decade and putting the viewers in a strange position of not knowing who among our favorites for whom to root. Boston Rob, who kind of inexplicably was put on the Villains team, still remains perhaps the biggest fan favorite — he’s returning for his third stint, a more mature version of his former self. Last year’s villain, Russell — who may have played one of the best games in “Survivor” history, also returns, and so far, he’s being outmatched by Boston Rob, despite Rob’s fainting spell in the second episode. Coach, the doofus villain from two cycles ago, also returns, still lacking in self-awareness, but relatively tame in comparison to some of the rest of Villains.

On the “Heroes” side, James — also making his third appearance — is the early stand-out, and unlike the mellowing Rob, losing the first two times seems to have brought out the aggression in the once reserved player. He’s the stand-out so far, though Rupert — with his broken toe, compliments of a brutal first challenge of the season — is making waves, having helped to engineer the ouster of three-timer, Stephanie, probably the most physical female to ever play the game. It’s been enjoyable, too, in these first two episodes to see the Heroes, who lost the first two immunity challenges, turn Villain on each other so quickly. J.T., as he did two seasons ago, has already over-allied himself, and while he garnered him $1 million then, it’s the sort of thing that will probably bite him in the ass with players of this caliber.

It’s still too early to tell, obviously, but my guess is that — if they can remain relatively under the radar — Parvati, Amanda, and Cirie may again form that female triumvirate and methodically pick off the stronger players, as they have in their past season together. In either respect, the show is still in top form, and we still haven’t even reached the best part of the season: The inevitable blindsides, which always seem to hit those who most deserve them, proving that the most debilitating weakness in “Survivor” will always be arrogance.

Meanwhile, the worldwide Cannonball Run competition, “The Amazing Race,” has done a fine job of casting this season. In past years, “The Amazing Race,” has been a bit more hit and miss (remember The Family Edition? Ugh) — it’s not for lack of trying, it’s often because the most interesting characters are voted out too soon. They usually build a safeguard into this by at least casting a sweet old couple (as they did this year with one grandmother eliminated early) so that the nimwits survive longer. And boy howdy, have they found the ultimate nitwits this season, starting with the Miss Teen South Carolina contest better known as like, um, USAmerica:

She and her vapid model boyfriend have been trying to demonstrate since the first minutes of the race just how unfairly they’ve been labeled as dumb, while amply demonstrating exactly why they’ve been labeled as such. They join a couple from last season’s “Big Brother” as the two teams to laugh at during the course of the season.

There aren’t any early favorites, though I’m always a sucker for the Southerners, whose ignorance in foreign cultures always seems more wide-eyed and endearing than the brattish California twenty-somethings who always seem to complain that cab drivers in other countries don’t speak English (it’s because it’s not their language, you entitled little shits). The Southerners this season are represented by two “lone ranger” cowboys, who are just pleased as pie to be a part of the race.

I don’t normally like the way that “The Amazing Race” casts its token homosexuals, however, seemingly always picking the bitchiest, most flamboyant gay guys they can dig up in an effort to reinforce stereotypes, but it does usually make for good drama. The lesbian couple this season may turn into the token abusive couple that always seems to do well in the race, proving that a good spousal berating may be more effective than we’d like.

All of which is to say, there’s not a real good way of reviewing two shows deep into their runs, except to say this: They’re still great. And as long as they’re on the air, I can’t imagine not watching them.









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Comments

i was going to try to watch amazing race last night, but couldn't tear myself away from that hockey game. u-s-a! u-s-a! lol.

Posted by: gem at February 22, 2010 3:57 PM

Just watched Miss Teen USA there and.....I want one of those. I have never laughed so hard at something that I don't understand in all my life. She is so brilliantly Stupid.

Posted by: bob at February 22, 2010 4:18 PM

Russell played one of the best games in Survivor history, but JT over-allied himself and is doing so again? This despite JT's game WORKING and Russell's NOT?

I'm not really a JT fan, but Russell... ugh. I cannot stand that smarmy, self-worshipping asshole.

Rooting for Cirie, yet again.

Posted by: Todd at February 22, 2010 4:19 PM

When I figured out it was her, I had to pause so I could get all the laughing out of my system. The Big Brother team is such an epic level of stupid, I honestly don't know how the female is able to walk and breathe at the same time.

I believe everyone has chosen to forget the family edition ever happened.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2010 4:40 PM

I, too, am rooting for Cirie...

I didn't realize Amazing Race is back. Will have to catch it this Sunday.

Posted by: Canuckistani at February 22, 2010 5:14 PM

Great decision to cast Courtney again -- for those of us remaining Survivor fans who occasionally get a little too invested, she provides a welcome antidote to the overall "seriousness" of the proceedings. Rolling her eyes at any overwrought speechifying, snarking away without regard to whether it helps her in the game. She never speaks to any desire to win the money -- she's just there to observe and cackle. She could use a sandwich, however....

Posted by: sansho1 at February 22, 2010 5:19 PM

"...it’s not for lack of trying, it’s often because the most interesting characters [on The Amazing Race] are voted out too soon."

You do know there's no voting on TAR, right? They race. It's right there in the title.

Posted by: Craig at February 22, 2010 6:31 PM

I've never understood the Russell hatred. You have to admire a guy that plays that hard, and that well. Though his style of play is definitely not suited for this season.

As far as Boston Rob is concerned, he can eat a dick. I hate him with the burning rage of a thousand red-hot suns! So yes, he belongs on the Villains side of things, if only for his cunning manipulation on his previous seasons.

Posted by: Smokin at February 22, 2010 7:11 PM

Russell is hands down the best Survivor player since Richard Hatch, and I love his gnarly little ass. I'm think the editing is playing down his angle for the first few episodes since he's fresh off his last season, and I still think he could do well. I'm with Smokin - I've never taken to Boston Rob, who can't possibly live up to the legend in his own mind. His game comes nowhere near Russell's. I will give him credit for doing well with the puzzle challenges so far.

That dipstick beauty twatwaffle up there said "Danke" in Chile! Between her team and the moronic chick on the Big Brother team, I'm unsure as to who is more stupid. I loved how they ran back and forth between bus stations, managing to miss them all and telling us all the while how smart they are. And not too far behind them are the cowboys who bought Brazilian currency.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2010 8:39 PM

I was really looking forward to the new Survivor season, until I saw that they had cast Boston Rob. AGAIN. I *hate* that man. So very, very much. I think I started hating The Amazing Race once he was cast, and I couldn't bear to watch him again. So I'm boycotting it this season. Will be back for the next one, that's for sure.

And I decided that AR was dead to me after the family edition. I tried a couple of seasons after that but I couldn't handle it.

Posted by: figgy at February 23, 2010 1:46 AM

I'm with figgy on TAR. I lost faith in their casting after that. Also, the game had become tiresome, for some reason. There was a monotony to it that seemed different from Survivor. Somehow, Survivor has staying power via characters and situations that force conflict.

Posted by: gunnertec at February 23, 2010 8:36 AM

I absolutely loathe Survivor, and most of the reason for that is due to Jeff Probst. He springs a boner over some meathead alpha jock every season and devotes every episode to singing his praises and crediting him with every move made in the game, while blatantly ignoring the female contestants except for a few token questions at council that can be answered quickly so he can move back to tongue-bathing his Chosen Man. I have actually seen him credit men for moves women have made in the game on multiple occasions. To Jeff Probst, things only happen in the game because men made them happen.

Posted by: Craig at February 23, 2010 7:46 PM


















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