Sh*tkicker Ranking 'Kill the Messenger,' This Week's Episode of Justified'
7. Dewey Crowe — That dumb redneck weasel just can’t catch a break, can he? He orchestrates a plan to hold a gun to Boyd’s head and shake him down for the money he’s owed for the bar, and Carl craps all over that, while getting’ a few licks in on Dewey, who clearly strikes about as much fear holding a gun to a man’s face as crawdad’s pinchers. Then Plan B — ransoming Carl — goes to pot when Raylan shows up unannounced, which sees Dewey scurrying away like a rat from a hoot owl. To make matters worse, when Danny and Daryl join up with the very man that Dewey was trying to shake down, he weren’t even there to enjoy the spoils. Hell, Dewey’s worth about as much as that dream of his of owning an outdoor pool: About $20 and a ride to the scrapyard. “I went to go get help but I got lost in the woods,” should go on his tombstone.
Keep livin’ the dream, Dewey.
6. Ava Crowder — Ava’s lot went from shit to shittier this wek, after she was moved to another prison. Not only did the woman paid to protect her turn against Ava on account of Boyd’s race trading, Ava lost big old hunks of that beautiful white girl hair. At least she’s got a friend in Penny (Danielle Panabaker), who’s a big enough name to suggest that Ava may be spending most — if not all — of this season behind bars. Odds on prison lovin’? 5 to 1. Ava’s trust in Boyd might be falterin’ given the number of promises Boyd hasn’t been able to keep.
5. Raylan Givens — It was not a good week for Raylan. Half the episode was set in motion by Raylan’s desire to use his fists on Danny Crowe and be the hero that Alison never wanted. After chasing his tail for much of the episode, all Raylan was left with was a Kentucky sized pair of blue balls, a shiner compliments of Art. and a shoulder he don’t even want to cry on from Rachel. He was even thwarted in his twisted bromance with Boyd, after Mr. Crowder didn’t follow through on giving Danny the whoopin’ he so richly deserved. Raylan has been a cool bystander for much of the season. orbiting the action but rarely part of it, except as Art’s punching bag.
I’ll give Raylan this much, though: He looks mighty handsome in the blue glow of a divebar’s lights after he’s been coldcocked.
4. Danny, Wendy, and Daryl Crowe — It didn’t look good for the Florida Crowes at the outset, what with Raylan on their tail, hellbent on getting them kicked out of the house they’d lied their way into. But before the episode had run its course, that world-class dumbass Danny got to show up Raylan without consequence, Daryl got to enjoy doling out an ass whooping to a white supremacist, and Wendy got to count all the money they’d earned from Boyd, all the while pretending she didn’t know how her family earned it. That’s basically the perfect week for the Crowes. The opportunity to take out Johnny Crowder next week was the whip-cream product on top of the banana puddin’.
The problem, unfortunately, is that there’s no defined agenda for the Crowes this season. They’re fun in short doses (although, Danny has just about wore out his welcome and then some), but as the main remaining antagonists, they don’t pose much of a directed threat for either Raylan or, especially Boyd, now that they’ve hitched their wagon to his. What’s the end game for these guys? Are they to become glorified Boyd Crowder henchman?
Meanwhile, I hope someone has already started writing their Danny and Carl Redneck S&M fanfic.
3. Deputy U.S. Marshal Rachel Brooks — They handed Rachel a nice chunk of screentime this week, and she took full advantage, taking down Danny Crowe before Raylan could get the chance to, and she managed to elicit a compliment out of Raylan.
2. Chief Deputy U.S. Marshal Art Mullen — Not only did Art get to deliver a free shot at Raylan’s face, he got Raylan to inventory bullets without even asking.
1. Boyd Crowder — Boyd knows how to salvage a bad situation. He turned the ransoming of Carl to his own advantage (with an assist from Raylan and Rachel) by pulling the Crowes — sans Dewey — onto his side. He also took down a white supremacist and ended up getting Ava the protection she needed for free. He didn’t even have to curl a fist. While Raylan didn’t get to be the hero for Alison, Boyd sure as hell did for Ava: “If anything happens to my woman, if she cuts her leg shaving, I’m gon’ take it out on you a hundred fold.”
If that weren’t enough, the gravy on top of the biscuit was getting the upper hand in a drug deal and setting himself up nicely to take out cousin Johnny next week. That’s a masterclass in shit-kicking without breaking a sweat.
The line of the episode goes to Tim Gutterson, who had only one line, but he made it count:
Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)
Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)
Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his
Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)