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Walk Softly and Carry a Big Dick


"Hung" / Dustin Rowles

TV Reviews | July 8, 2009 | Comments (42)


There was something novel about the first generation of successful pay cable dramas, “The Sopranos,” and “Six Feet Under,” which were character driven shows about the family dynamics of those involved in unusual professions. The second generation — “Entourage,” “Weeds,” “Dexter,” and “Big Love” — started strong, but with the exception of “Big Love,” their gimmicks have begun to wear out their welcome. The second generation has taught us that gimmicks can only get you so far — the characters have to carry a show past its first year. Indeed, after the novelty wore off, the characters in “Entourage” revealed themselves as the douchezillas we should’ve recognized in the beginning; the characters in “Weeds” have completely lost touch with the people they were in the first couple of seasons; and “Dexter” has lost its momentum because it refuses to stray away from its gimmick, and there’s only so much you can do with a serial killer investigating his own murders before it gets repetitive.

I’m starting to feel like the third generation of pay-cable dramas — “Nurse Jackie,” (I was out in three episodes), “The United States of Tara,” (I listlessly watched the first season) and “True Blood” (I struggled up through the second-season premiere and quit) are beginning to feel like some of the same shows you’d find on network TV, only with more sex and blood. They’re gimmick shows — a pill-popping nurse; a multiple-personality mom; and Crash with vampires, but I don’t really feel like the characters are that compelling beyond their conceits (and for my money, not even the “True Blood’s” conceit merits much value).

HBO’s latest, “Hung,” does seem, on its face, like another gimmick show — ordinary high-school teacher with a huge dick — but at least based on the pilot, the characters are somewhat compelling, enough at least to keep me interested after the novelty of the premise has been exhausted. Thomas Jane — failed star of the silver screen (The Punisher, The Mist), whose best work (Stander) has barely been seen — plays Ray Drecker, a loserish, sad-sack high-school teacher heading toward mid-life crisis. All of his best years are behind him — he was once a promising young baseball prospect — and he is now stuck coaching a high-school basketball team in the midst of a couple of losing seasons. To add to his misery, his wife (Anne Heche) left him for a dorky proctologist, and though his chubby twin children initially chose to stay with him, he lost them as well when his house caught on fire. And wouldn’t you know it, his insurance policy had lapsed.

So, Ray — living in a tent outside the charred shell of his home — decides to take a get-rich course, which instructs its students to market their best “tool.” Ray’s best tool? “You were beautiful and talented and athletic and smart and popular and hung,” his wife bemoans.”Now you’re just hung.” His dick is all he has, a realization he comes to after bedding an effusive poetry writer with a hair-trigger clit reflex (Jane Adams). So, what’s an average guy pushing 40 with a monster cock and no skills to do? Become a man whore, of course. And why not recruit the poet — who has a way with words — to be your pimp?

That’s the premise behind “Hung,” and it has plenty of possibilities, but mostly it’s Thomas Jane’s low-key turn as a dumb guy trying to take advantage of his huge box of junk that’s the show’s main draw. “Hung,” in fact, is less interested in its conceit than it is with what drove Ray to prostitution, the emotional baggage, and the questions of morality that accompany the profession, which makes it a far more interesting show than one about a guy with a tripod plowing his way through the lonely and horny women of Detroit. Moreover, Jane Adams sensitive feminist poet brings some complexity to the gimmick, aiming to wrap the prostitution angle around the concept of self-empowerment, a less controversial notion when you’re dealing with a male prostitute. Anne Heche, who does crazy bitch as well as anyone, is well cast as a mother trying to connect with her gothy, detached and sullen children, which appears to be a subplot nearly as compelling as the main one, if only because these teenagers aren’t like any others we’ve seen on television before. They’re not secretly attractive underneath a pair of glasses and a bad haircut — they genuinely look the part of socially ostracized high schoolers.

It’s not an amazing show by any means, but so far at least, it’s a good one. And more importantly, if the characters are as well drawn in the rest of the series as they are in the opening episodes, it has the potential to be interesting for more than a season or two. That is, unless “Hung” goes the “Weeds” route, and Ray ends up running a male prostitution ring, turning his children into whores, and impregnating the chief of police.


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Comments

I can really empathize with this guy.

Posted by: Guess Who! at July 8, 2009 4:19 PM

Oh good. I DVR'd this hoping it would be worth watching... maybe tonight.
Thanks Dustin!

Posted by: SilverDeb at July 8, 2009 4:20 PM

I thought it was pretty good, but I was a little mystified as to why his son would need $50.00 to buy tickets to motherfucking Godhead. Aren't they playing bar mitzvahs now?

Posted by: Snath at July 8, 2009 4:24 PM

"I can really empathize with this guy"

Your significant other left you for a dorky proctologist too?

Posted by: ernesto at July 8, 2009 4:26 PM

Completely unbelievable. A white guy with a big dig? Pfft. What's next? Unicorns?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 8, 2009 4:29 PM

Goddammit. Can we please get somebody to work on that "Oh, shit! No, wait, that's not what I wanted to do!" button?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 8, 2009 4:30 PM

"Completely unbelievable. A white guy with a big dig? Pfft. What's next? Unicorns?"

Unicorns are already known for having large dicks.

Posted by: ernesto at July 8, 2009 4:31 PM

Don't judge Tracer! My college roommate was 6'5" and a super lanky dorky hippie, and he was... enormous. The length was better than average but the fucking GIRTH was like a coke can. Blonde-haired god damn cockzilla who laughed like spongebob and helped me beat Resident Evil 4 in 15 hours.

Oh, those were the days.

Posted by: AlexaCastro at July 8, 2009 4:34 PM

GIRTH is a really wonderful word to say.

"Yes, of course he's got a Penis, and I hear he fancies himself a mule, but what about the GIRTH, man?" -inquired the wealthy victorian widow about Charles Dickens, the writer, of course.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at July 8, 2009 4:43 PM

actually Anne Heche's husband is a Dermatologist.

Posted by: robin at July 8, 2009 4:51 PM

So now HBO has to prove that white guys have huge cocks? Is the Obama presidency that emasculating?

Posted by: Guess Who! at July 8, 2009 4:53 PM

I liked Thomas Jane in 61* as Mickey Mantle. I do believe the dorky proctologist is a dermatologist... unless you were being humorous. In that case, HA!

True Blood is still better than most any Sunday night tv program I've seen. There is entertainment value there, despite Sookie and Bill's ridiculous fights. I'm hanging in there for Hung too. I may be broke, but I love my HBO.

Posted by: mellenhead at July 8, 2009 4:56 PM

I agree that the setup has better long term viability than recent HBO series but this is supposed to be a comedy. It needs to bring some funny or I sure as hell don't care about whether its conceit wears thin after a season or two. The premiere was not funny.

Posted by: ed newman at July 8, 2009 4:56 PM

So if "The Sopranos,” and “Six Feet Under,” are the first generation and “Entourage,” “Weeds,” “Dexter,” and “Big Love” are the second, where do "Rome", "Deadwood" and "The Wire" fit in? Generation 1.5?


Posted by: ForbiddenDonut at July 8, 2009 5:10 PM

where do "Rome", "Deadwood" and "The Wire" fit in?

Srsly, don't be dismissin' my Deadwood, cocksuckers.

Oh... err... damn.

Perhaps this was the wrong thread in which to combine the words "my" and "Deadwood."

I'm not that old, really. It still works.
It does!

Baaah... GET OFF MY LAWN!!

Posted by: Rykker at July 8, 2009 5:23 PM

The guy in the back of that picture looks like he's about to sneaze all over Thomas Jane.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at July 8, 2009 5:24 PM

I intended to watch this, missed it, and then wondered if it was wrestilng with my on demand bullshit.
But it sounds like it has a bit of promise.

Posted by: myysharona (formerly Sharon) at July 8, 2009 5:25 PM

Goddammit, that's the third time today that I've either agreed with Guess Whookie or he's made me laugh. I don't know what to believe in anymore.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 8, 2009 5:32 PM

Maybe it has something to do with me speaking the truth, Tracer.

Posted by: Guess Who! at July 8, 2009 5:48 PM

"which makes it a far more interesting show than one about a guy with a tripod plowing his way through the lonely and horny women of Detroit."

I give it one season before this is EXACTLY what this show becomes.

And I agree with ed newman: bring the funny FAST or I'm out for good.

Posted by: jimbob at July 8, 2009 5:53 PM

I was hoping for more nudity.

Posted by: grinder at July 8, 2009 5:57 PM

“Entourage,” “Weeds,” “Dexter,” and “Big Love” — started strong, but with the exception of “Big Love,” their gimmicks have begun to wear out their welcome.

Don't you dare insult "Dexter," don't you dare!!! What gimmick? Who gives a fuck about his "private" life. I like to watch the show to see a serial killer with no emotions killing other serial killers. In fact, the only thing that seems to be annoying me is the writers giving him emotions. Bullshit I say.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 8, 2009 6:07 PM

"Thomas Jane — failed star of the silver screen (The Punisher, The Mist), whose best work (Stander) has barely been seen..."

Dustin, the hell is wrong with you? Everybody knows Thomas Jane's best work is motherfucking Deep Blue Sea.

Posted by: Sarina at July 8, 2009 6:27 PM

I thought he was at his best in Homeless Dad

Posted by: Alli at July 8, 2009 6:31 PM

Let's not forget Carnivale.

Posted by: snapnhiss at July 8, 2009 6:38 PM

I have to go with Thursday as Thomas Jane's best work

Posted by: silchas ruin at July 8, 2009 7:00 PM

I caught the opening episode for this one and yeah, I enjoyed it. I think it's got merit but could still suck by the second season, if it does make it that long...

But it could use some good ole' fashioned full-frontal male nudity. I wanna see big fat long schlong, dammit! Fake it if you got to, I don't care.

Anything would be nice. Wow, did I just type that?

Posted by: Beckster "tri-tip" Goddess at July 9, 2009 12:09 AM

I caught the first episode and it did absolutely nothing for me. It wasn't funny enough to keep my attention as a comedy, nor did I care enough about any of the characters for it to work as a drama. Jane and his "pimp" are losers, Ann Heche and her husband are unlikable, and the kids annoyed me on contact - the daughter was detestable and I wanted Jane to tell his son to fuck off when he asked for the $50. I'll be avoiding this show.

Someone mentioned Nurse Jackie and, as flawed as it is as a sitcom, I enjoy it. I recognize that it relies more on situation than storyline to carry it, and all the characters the writers want you to like are glaringly bullet-proof and get the best lines while the characters deemed unimportant or "bad" get stuck with bad lines or heavy-handed bad karma. But something about it strikes a "watchable" nerve with me. Maybe it's that hot female doctor with whom Jackie pals around...

Posted by: David at July 9, 2009 12:36 AM

Srsly, don't be dismissin' my Deadwood, cocksuckers.

Perhaps this was the wrong thread in which to combine the words "my" and "Deadwood."

Well, it was certainly the right thread to include the word cocksuckers. There's that, at least.

Posted by: Hotcha at July 9, 2009 1:04 AM

Hah! I AM a big dick.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 9, 2009 1:46 AM

I put Californication up there with your first generation of pay cable shows (though, it's not a drama).

And I think Six Feet Under is overrated. It's a classy melodrama (though enjoyable).

And, to be honest, if it weren't for Anna Paquin's HORRIBLE acting, I'd prefer True Blood.

Course The Wire, Deadwood, Rome, and Carnivale are better than either.

Posted by: Ingres at July 9, 2009 5:41 AM

I agree in part with the criticisms regarding Dexter and Weeds, although I'm still hanging in there for both.

But Big Love? Really? The mere mention of it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Posted by: boscobarbell at July 9, 2009 10:21 AM

How can you not like Big Love? That show is fantastic.

Posted by: Snath at July 9, 2009 10:32 AM

I gave it shot. Really.

But by the end of the first season I didn't give a damn about a single character, nor did I care much about their ultimate fates. And I found the cartoonish villainy of the Mormon elders painfully laughable.

But I acknowledge it could just be me. Perhaps my expectations were just too high after basking in the brilliance of Deadwood and Rome.

Posted by: boscobarbell at July 9, 2009 10:44 AM

I adore Big Love. There's not another show on television, except maybe Lost, that's been able to flesh out so many characters in such a short time. The episode last season where the entire family travels cross country to Hill Cumorah was nearly perfect in every way.

I watched the premiere of Hung, and I also didn't think it was that funny. Anne Heche made me chuckle a few times, but her face and whatever she's done to it kept distracting me. And I found myself getting up several times during the episode and then having no desire to rewind to see what I'd missed. That right there is a bad sign for any show in my book.

Posted by: Kolby at July 9, 2009 4:31 PM

Hi I think it's too bad this guy keep talking about TV ignoring The Wire like always, the other day he said he won't watch The Wire, well, ok, but the thing is he talks "10 greatest moments on TV, sad moments" and no The Wire, so he "first generation, second generation", no The Wire and this catches really bad on him, like.

The Wire is awesome, there MacNutt who is funny, there's Omar who is gay but asskicks and there's all those kids and all and it's smart and fun and sad, I cried sometimes, not being gay and all. Anyway, I think you guys should think about that.

Posted by: zito at July 9, 2009 5:20 PM

Wow, zito crying makes you "gay" and all? And Omar is gay but asskicks, meaning otherwise gay people just suck ass?

I don't watch the Wire because I don't really have the time, and I'm sort of in the same boat with Dustin that everyone tells me "ITS THE BEST SHOW EVER OF ALL EVERNESS!" And with so much hype built up, it will only disappoint me.

Posted by: AlexaCastro at July 9, 2009 9:14 PM

Michael Douglas was right...you can't forget a girl named Oola.

Posted by: mario at July 10, 2009 12:02 AM

1. Eastbound and Down
2. Party Down.

Posted by: Adahaze at July 10, 2009 9:23 AM

I agree with u,I really love The Wire's realism.

Posted by: sheet at July 11, 2009 9:28 AM

Um, EXCUSE ME, True Blood has nothing in common with Crash. Don't say that. If you wanna diss it, go ahead, but at least make unflattering comparisons that make sense.

I happen to fucking love it, cause apparently chicks dig vampires. Also, the whole show is just HOT as HELL. The opening song makes me wanna have hot, sweaty rough sex outdoors. Preferably with a vampire.

Posted by: sillymonster at July 13, 2009 5:30 PM

I really, really want to like this show. I heard about it, and I thought, finally, an HBO show for women. All the shows I watch (Deadwood, Sopranos, etc) feature prominent female nudity. So when I heard about a show featuring a well-endowed male prostitute, I was stoked. Only to find that there IS NO MALE FULL FRONTAL NUDITY!!!! What a cheat! Why, why, why still the ridiculous double standard about male bodies and female desire???? Show us the goods!

Posted by: bookishbabe at July 19, 2009 10:32 PM