Obama Panders to Feminists. Wait! What?
I recapped it to my husband and he summed it up -- Sarah's smart for leaving, I still hate Bill, Margie's being dumb and I love Nicki. Yep, pretty accurate.
Let's get to it.
A Plot: Bill, his stupid campaign, the casino and Barb, because she has to do everything Bill isn't doing. Bill has a theme song. It sounds kind of blah, but I didn't get the words and you can't make me listen to it again.
Bill sees Ana and she gets off a good shot about him being a hypocrite about sharing Margie. It's OK for wives to share, but it's unnatural for men to do it. Tell me about it, I never have enough covers.
Barb goes to an Eagle forum to speak. I assume that's an LDS church ladies forum. I know Eagle Scouts are usually involved in the LDS church. Fine, I'll Google it. Hold on.
Okay, I'm back. Apparently the Eagle Forum has been "leading the pro-family movement since 1972."
Phyllis Schlafly has a column there ("Obama Panders to Feminists"). She's a college educated woman who makes the rounds speaking out about how women need to be back in the home and how education is wasted on them. Yeah, I don't expect an invite anytime soon. Well, I'm sure Barb will be right at home with these ladies!
Or not. Her speech goes on a tangent about how women are expected to do it all and they shouldn't have to feel that way and it's awful how they need pharmacuticals to maintain their lives! It goes over about as well as you might imagine. Well, I liked it. Bill gets wind of Barb's speech from the nosy neighbor from last season, who has has some problems with the medicine cabinet herself and doesn't appreciate the reminder.
Barb and Bill hash out the casino issue and she comes clean about hiring Marilyn and the fact that Marilyn is in bed with Payley and the conservative group. Bill says that Barb has defied him and fires her. What good family values, Bill!
Bill gets slammed for Barb's speech in a family-values debate. Bill tells Barb to retract and calls her speech half-baked liberal views. Heh. Barb tells him she'll say whatever since she has no voice of her own, and adds that he's going to run off his oldest daughter over the campaign. I'm having a hard time caring about this plotline. It was obvious where they were going with it from the beginning of the episode and it's just to show the fractures in the family (And their values! See what I did there?) and they need to be tying this stuff up about now. Not to mention, if these family values people are so concerned about Bill, how have they missed his other two wives? Nicki would have had that dirt in three hours.
Anyway, Bill and Barb and the whole family go on TV to talk about the campaign and (say it with me!) family values. Barb caves and starts to retract what she said and Bill comes in and says Barb just spoke the truth and that they need to have public discussions about things like this. It's OK, but he's going to lose. Utah voters would pounce on that in a heartbeat. They don't vote on pretty speeches, they vote on party lines and a values checklist. Oh yeah, Teeny tap dances and bugs the crap out of me everytime she talks. The new actress just has a grating personality. The old Teeny was sweeter, this one is a busybody. Maybe her mom's genes kicked in.
Bill and Barb are at the casino and Marilyn shows up. Marilyn tells Bill and Barb that she's figured out that Bill is having an affair with Margie. Not quite, but you're getting warm, Marilyn. It didn't take very much for her to figure things out; she kept her eyes open and she busted Bill and Margie in lies about when they met and why they were together at certain times. And when she figures out the truth, she's going to have a field day. However, I wonder if she would really expose Bill? After all, didn't Payley endorse him? It might reflect harshly on Payley and she and Payley seemed pretty tight. I hope we see some resolution on this soon. And I hope we find out more of why she hates Bill. I mean, besides the obvious. Marilyn tells Barb she feels sorry for her. Eh, I do too, but she's pretty damn smug sometimes.
Marilyn leaves and Tommy comes in to tell Barb and Bill that they copied her laptop and have bills, tax records, etc. Wow, that's got to be illegal. Nice ethics, guys.
B Plot: Sarah and Ben update each other and the viewing audience, on the goings-on in the Hendrickson world. Just the usual stuff; kidnappings, marriages to unknown foreign men, and their uncle killed the father of their father's third wife.
Sarah and Scott are moving to Portland before the election. You know, I have to give some credit here. Sarah's relationship with Scott has really let her develop a sense of self outside of her family and to help her make her own decisions. Sarah tells Bill she doesn't want to be part of what happens next with the family. There's those family values again, Bill! Even your kids know your ideas are dumb.
The wives con Sarah into coming to a wives meeting to learn about running a household, but just question her about moving. She tries to bail and Nicki barks at her "Sit!" and she does. Nicki's awesome. Sarah tells them she knows that no one wants to come out as polygamists except Nicki. No one says anything excpet Nicki, who says she finally loves Bill and is going to support him. That's...sweet. Weird, but sweet.
Bill visits Sarah at her house and gives her some cash for the trip. I guess that's sweet. They seem to make up a little.
At Teeny's birthday party the family gives Sarah an awesome quilt that they made with pieces of fabric from special items of each family member. It is gorgeous and a really sweet gift. Seriously, this was one of my favorite moments on this show. Sarah looks a little sad to be leaving, but I'm sure that'll pass. Run, Sarah, Run!
Side plots: Margie. Margie goes to the INS office with Ana's fiance. I should probably look up his name. Huh, it's Goran. OK, then. They get the TV speech about fines and jail time and Margie looks freaked. She has no poker face. Didn't she stop to think that maybe there was a reason it was illegal? And that breaking the law has consequences? Oh, Margie. She decides to bail on the marriage (oh, that's not suspicious AT ALL) and tells Bill. Bill decides to make her stay married since Marilyn thinks they are having an affair. Good to know Bill's back to doing things for his own benefit again.
Margie invites Goran to the house and he and Bill get in a pissing match by playing tetherball. No, I'm not making this up. Bill gets really sweaty. Really sweaty. For a few minutes I thought he might have a heart attack. That would have been a nice little twist. Alas, it is not to be. He wins after hitting Goran in the face with the ball. Nice.
Nicki. Nicki starts the episode dressing like a normal person. It's awesome. She looks nice and she seems comfortable. She does get defensive when Barb and Margie give her looks at the dinner table, but they are so damn judgmental all the time, I don't blame her for being defensive. She winds up busting out the lingerie that Bill gave her in DC. Man, she's got a really nice body. What? I'm just saying. They are in the bedroom and Bill thinks that he should tell her about her dad (NOW?), but she starts talking about her infertility and he figures out that it might be a bad time. Yeah, I'm sure the fact that he hasn't told her won't completely backfire on him.
Well, Bill gets out of telling Nicki when Barb lets it slip, thinking she already knew. Wacky hijinks in the Hendrickson house! Nicki heads straight for the compound and I feel pretty bad for her, actually. She just found out her dad was murdered by her brother-in-law and everyone knows but her. How could you trust anyone in that house? Everyone always knows something and they never tell the person that needs/deserves to know.
Compound. Wanda's gone mute. Oh, I'm not sure I want to know why. It has to be creepy. Nicki decides to take her off the compound with her. JJ sort of protests, but Nicki's having none of it.
Nicki slaps Bill (see why she's my favorite?) for not telling her about Joey. They talk and she tells him she really loves him now and it feels like betrayal that he didn't tell her. She also mentions that she doesn't like sharing him. It's a fairly sweet conversation and really genuine. Both actors did a good job.
Alby. Alby gets interrogated by the people investigating the UEB. They want to know who rented the apartment and why. He blames it all on Dale, which is wrong, but hey, it's not like he's going to complain.
Alby grieves for Dale by playing Nancy Sinatra and looking at pictures. He looks bad. Lura stops by to ask for forgiveness, but I don't think he knows that she ratted him out. He doesn't freak out at her like I expect him to. Nicki comes to see him and brings him jeans. They hug and Nicki tells him she loves him. GhostRoman is back and running the show. Alby gets badgered until freaks out and calls Nicki a whore. Jerk. I'm sorry "Big Love," but this ghost thing is just not working. You couldn't find a way to show Alby's internal struggle without resorting to cheap theatrics? I find that hard to believe.
Man, they have a lot of ends to tie up. I doubt they will tie up everything, but I need to see some kind of closure on the main storylines. At least end this election. I also want them to go somewhere with the JJ plot. It's boring, at this point. I have absolutely no idea what to expect out of the season finale, so in that regard, they are doing a fine job. See you next week!
Melissa McKimmey is a mom, wife and grocery merchandiser who spends too much time on the internet and has a Chai tea addiction. She spends most of her time on the internet as TWoP Fan and can be emailed at here.