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Introducing One Sweet Piece of Hollywood Ass

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (35)



hammbackwash.jpg

There are a lot of very funny, very talented actors forced to take small, dumb paycheck roles on bad television shows and in seriously shitty movies because they are very funny, very talented actors and Hollywood has no use for them. This is the reason you see people like David Cross in Alvin and the Chipmunks, why Patton Oswalt was relegated to the weird neighbor role on “The King of Queens,” and why you only see guys like Craig Bierko in guest spots and bad TV movies. They have to make a living, and in a town that often doesn’t appreciate real wit and humor, some of our favorite television actors have to settle for roles beneath them. Have you seen what’s become of Dave Foley’s career?

This is why web series are great. It gives us an opportunity to see what some of these great actors are capable of if given the right material, or even material they create themselves. One of my favorite “TV guys” is Joshua Malina, who most probably only know from “West Wing,” while some others may have formed their TV relationship with Malina back during his “Sports Night” days. He’s good. But if you want to see the guy on TV, you’d be forced to seek him out on the occasional episode of “In Plain Sight” or the now-cancelled “Good Guys.” I like Malina. But I don’t like him that much.

That’s why “Backwash” is perfect: You get to see Malina at his full potential, which is to say: Intermittently hilarious and mostly amusing until he runs out of steam near the end. Malina has no clout in Hollywood, of course, but he apparently has friends from various projects he’s worked on over the years. Not great friends, of course, or they’d star in the actual series, but they’re close enough to give up 20 minutes of their day to introduce each of the “Backwash” episodes. Without disparaging the actual web series, it’s the hosted introductions that provide the best reason for tuning in (besides the fact that it’s free). Guest hosts include Alison Janney, John Cho, Sarah Silverman, Hank Azaria, Michael Vartan, David Wain, and, most memorably, Jon Hamm, all of whom spend most of their time making fun of themselves. If I can’t convince you to watch the entire series, you really must check out the 90 second introductions to each episode, specifically those of Janney, Cho, Vartan, Dulé Hill and, especially, Jon Hamm. Seriously, watch this.


From Crackle: Val and Jonesy

The premise is this: “Backwash” is based on a William Makepeace Thackeray’s heretofore unproduced masterwork discovered in a backed-up pipe in a London tea shop’s bidet. It stars “the guy from the West Wing (Joshua Malina), a nobody (Michael Panes) and that guy from VH1’s ‘I Love the 80s’ (Michael Ian Black).” What’s the story? I’ll let Jon Hamm do the honors, from the final episode:

“Val (Malina) and Jonesy (Panes) have lived together for years in a mutually destructive master-slave relationship. One day, Jonesy inadvertently wields a salami like a shotgun and relieves a bank of $100,000. Then, after implicating their old friend and Kreamy Kream man, Fleming (Michael Ian Black), the trio goes on run, pursued by Officers Belter (Noah Emmerich), a singing cop obsessed with Les Miserables, and Bleaker (Joe Lo Truglio), his sassy little sidekick.”

Directed by Danny Leiner (Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle), “Backwash” is funny. Sometimes spectacularly so, and sometimes only mildly, but even the less amusing episodes are bookended by the brilliant guest-hosted spots (and make sure to stick around for the credit sequences, which often include Matzo). It’s a bizarre blend of madcap esoterica, modern-day Groucho Marx, and hilariously unnecessary musical numbers, rife with gleefully shoehorned pop-culture allusions. Better still, it’s your only real opportunity to see Malina and Michael Ian Black in something you actually want to see.

Backwash finished its run in December, so you can watch the entire series here.









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Comments

Wow, Jon Hamm with a beard looks just like a creepy neighbor I had growing up whose wife led the campaign against showing ads for sanitary towels on TV. I think Hamm may be ruined for me forever.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 12, 2011 1:00 PM

In my estimation, the phrases "Sweet piece of Hollywood Ass" and "Jon Hamm" should always be in close proximity. And said piece should always be in clear view of my prying eyes.

Posted by: Jerry at January 12, 2011 1:00 PM

What is with all the beard hate today? Sheesh.

Posted by: Jerry at January 12, 2011 1:01 PM

I recently saw an episode of iCarly that had Josh Malina as one of a group of nerds or geeks or whatever the storyline was. I don't remember the plot so much as I was disheartened that he was a nameless extra in a Nickoledeon kids' show.

Posted by: chad at January 12, 2011 1:11 PM

If I see Jon Hamm I have no choice but to watch, read or click on the link that will deliver the Hamm.

Why?

I do not know.

Posted by: PonyOfPonies at January 12, 2011 1:13 PM

Why, I envy both Hamm's wardrobe and his beard. Fie upon those who would hate our noble chin whiskers. Defender against chapping, saver of crumbs and soup, I say man's face is shamefully and obscenely naked, yes, NAKED, without a beard. Were I to have my druthers, all beardless men over the age of 18 would be locked up for exposing their filthy faces to women and innocent children. Good, God-fearing folk shouldn't have to live with such goddamned perverts in their midst.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 12, 2011 1:15 PM

God help me, I love a good beard. And glasses. And Hamm.

Right now I'm just a moist pair of panties.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at January 12, 2011 1:17 PM

Please, twist my arm to watch Jon Hamm. You didn't even need the intro. The fact that he can make something as simple as eating matzo funny makes me love him even more.

Posted by: katy at January 12, 2011 1:23 PM

So Foley is classified as a good, talented actor?

Posted by: james at January 12, 2011 1:35 PM

I thought Malina was funny on iCarly! And I love Dave Foley!!! What's wrong with you people?!

Posted by: Tena at January 12, 2011 1:40 PM

I think Paddydog may be ruined for me forever.

Posted by: Porkchop Express at January 12, 2011 1:40 PM

While I usually find Hamm empirically-attractive, I do not find him sexually so. The beard changes everything. I shall repair to the verandah for a breath of fresh air and to loosen my stays in private. A lady simply does not let herself be seen in such a state.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 12, 2011 1:43 PM

I fell in heart with Malina on Sports Night; deep, throbbing nerd heart. For realsies.

Fast-forward to the years of Twitter. Yeah, he totes*** follows me. And we talk*. I'm just sayin'.**

*ed twice. Both made my day.

** I realize this post makes me a total tool.

***ew, I actually said that.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 12, 2011 2:11 PM

I'll definitely check out the other episodes. They had me at "sepia poisoning". And Jon Hamm eating matzo like a Muppet has made my day.

Posted by: jM at January 12, 2011 2:13 PM

BTW, one further obnoxious Twitter-related note: Malina read and retweeted this article.

For realsies.

OK, I'll stop acting/talking like a tween.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 12, 2011 2:15 PM

Nice use of OMG there.
And I did enjoy the slapping.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 12, 2011 2:17 PM

Hamm is so unrecognizable with the beard that I kept asking myself: "That's Josh Malina? Wow, he doesn't look anything like himself with that beard. Is that really him? No, it can't be him. Who else could it be? This article is about Josh Malina, isn't it? Those aren't even his glasses..."

Then I reached the comments section and realized my mistake.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 12, 2011 2:17 PM

Right now I'm just a moist pair of panties.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at January 12, 2011 1:17 PM

Why, I have some dry towelettes for just such an occasion.

Mrs. Julien, interested now in my moist towelettes?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 12, 2011 2:21 PM

"Sepia poisoning" was inspired, good for Mr. Malina for creating a sketch that was funnier than anything on John Hamm's last SNL gig. Can he get Seth Myers job?

Posted by: Mebe at January 12, 2011 2:27 PM

I LOVED Sports Night. Loved. And Dule Hill also makes an appearance? On TOP of The Hamm? I'll watch.

Posted by: Julie at January 12, 2011 2:29 PM

I would totally watch Dule Hill on top of The Hamm. Oh lord.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at January 12, 2011 3:01 PM

Wow. Thanks for pointing this series out! The whole thing is up on YouTube!!

http://www.youtube.com/show/backwash

I have watched most of the episodes. Doing a marathon. It's unbelievably funny. Love it.

Posted by: BlayneG at January 12, 2011 3:35 PM

I concur on beard LOVE. I enforce a strict no shaving the face policy on Mr Knees.
Now, I've just got to get him a pair of those glasses and the suit. If he keeps his mouth shut I think I can work with it.

Posted by: the bees knees at January 12, 2011 4:33 PM

I can't believe Figgy has not commented about taking Hamm's backwash freely and happily.

I did try to grow a goatee once and when my dad saw it he told me "Facial hair is for ugly people who have something to cover up, shave that shit off."

Classic . . . .

Posted by: TVConnoisseur at January 12, 2011 4:59 PM

Porkchop:

It's not the beard per se that bothers me, it's the close physical resemblance he bears to aforementioned creepy neighbor with said beard.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 12, 2011 5:14 PM

Can't stand that Hamm twat. He's completely over-rated. JMHO.

Posted by: Anon at January 12, 2011 5:19 PM

Perhaps this is not the takeaway you had in mind but:

When did The Good Guys get cancelled? I loved that show. Seeing Bradley Whitford (aka Josh from The West Wing) as a drunken, lecherous, disgusting pig is the highlight of my summer tv viewing. My heart is now filled with the sadness of loss.

Posted by: Morgan LaFai at January 12, 2011 6:56 PM

“Val (Malina) and Jonesy (Panes) have lived together for years in a mutually destructive master-slave relationship. One day, Jonesy inadvertently wields a salami like a shotgun and relieves a bank of $100,000."

I'm there.

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 12, 2011 8:11 PM

He was in that show about four friends who are very rich and he was cheating on his wife. I started watching it for Vartan (VAUGHN!) but gave it up because... bleh, I just couldn't.

By the way, I'm on the second season of the West Wing now...

Posted by: denesteak at January 13, 2011 12:13 AM

Michael Vartan is in an episode of this. He's really funny.

Posted by: Lem at January 13, 2011 12:55 AM

yeah, well fuck this shit.

both the Crackle and YouTube videos are fucking unavailable in Canada.

Posted by: causaubon at January 13, 2011 1:31 AM

Right there with you, causaubon.

As for Fowley, I don't think I've seen him in anything outside of Newsradio and Kids in the Hall. And he wasn't the greatest thing about either.

I think Hamm looks better with just stubble rather than a beard. I do appreciate beards, though.

Posted by: Uda at January 13, 2011 3:24 AM

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!

NO! SHAVE OFF THAT THING. SHAVE IT OFF RIGHT NOW OR WE'RE THROUGH.

/loud noises

Posted by: Figgy at January 13, 2011 9:52 AM

So Figgy, if he doesn't shave it off he's a free agent?

Ladies, and a percentage of the Gentlemen I have been unable to find a consistent number for, the line forms to the left.

This reminds me, it is time for me to pester Mr. Julien into growing a beard again. He will reject the notion with phrases including the words "gray" and "bloat", but I shall persist. Mr. J grows a world class beard. Rawr! Not the one like Galifinakis which suggests a manliness clearly not otherwise present. He's like a beard tease. And a comedy tease, but that is a separate issue that doesn't need exploring at this juncture.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 13, 2011 12:15 PM

What! no, never! I was just *joking*. I'm not *insane*.

I'd just shave it off while he slept, obvs.

And I do like beards--MrFig has a full one and I quite love it. But on the Hamm? Nooo. Stubble is just fine.

Posted by: Figgy at January 14, 2011 12:52 AM