Abort! Abort!

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 22, 2009 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 22, 2009 |


Premise: Jenna Elfman stars a Billie, a 37-year-old San Francisco print movie critic (she'd be lucky if her job lasted as long as the show does). Billie is trapped between You've Got Mail Meg Ryan and unrecognizable Meg Ryan. Early on, she's dumped by her boss/boyfriend, James (Grant Show), who won't commit. Later, she meets an early twentysomething, Zack (Jon Foster), hooks up with him, and finds out later she's got an eggo in the oven. Billie decides to keep it, because she's staring down the barrel of menopause. Zack, who lives and works in a rent-a-van and whose friends consists of Grand Theft Auto playing pot-smokers, enthusiastically agrees to help her raise his child. He moves in, but sleeps in a different room. He makes messes, and eats all her food. James finds out. He gets jealous. The love triangle is set.

Analysis: The worst kind of lame, conventional sitcom. It comes with overbearing canned laughter; the horny best friend (British, of course); the prudish married sister; cougar jokes (oh, sorry, they prefer "lynx or ocelot"); gendered humor; and laughable reaction shots. Elfman plays a variation of every sitcom character she's every played, only more shrill. Jon Foster is easily one of the most wooden actors on the planet -- he'd easily lose to Hayden Christensen in a wood-off (his acting is worse, too).On the bright side, there's no wasted talent here, as there is no talent to speak of.

Verdict: Lame, unrelentingly predictable, hopelessly unfunny, flat, and contrived. Really difficult to watch. In other words: The perfect compliment to "Two and a Half Men."

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