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An Embarrassing '80s Nostalgia Trip for John Cusack

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Think Pieces | Comments (47)



hottubmjunket.jpg

Junket Jackassery is a new series on Pajiba where were attempt to examine the role of entertainment journalism, and the blurring of lines between movie criticism and outright promotion, among other related topics.

John Cusack in recent years has had something of a reputation for being a slightly abrasive character in real life, and some of that is based on the way he conducts himself in interviews. But in preparing for this piece, I just spent two hour pouring over interviews conducted with Cusack by dozens of different outlets, and I’ve officially come to the conclusion that, if Cusack is indeed abrasive in interviews, it’s because the promotional system is stacked against him — in fact, it’s stacked against most celebrity actors.

Indeed, for “entertainment journalists” who revel in puns and dumb fucking interview questions, it’s been something of a banner week, what with the release of Hot Tub Time Machine today (our review is forthcoming). It’s a movie built around a silly premise (a hot tub time machine) and it’s steeped in ’80s nostalgia, which finally gives interviewers the opportunity to badger Cusack about his ’80s movies, a subject he’s never really been fond of talking about. However, for the purposes of promoting Hot Tub Time Machine, he’s had no choice in the matter. And interviewers have seemingly taken pains to make it as excruciating as possible.

But before we get to the series of dumb fucking questions that have been asked of Cusack this week, I’d just like to note that scouring the Internet for interviews of Cusack reveals just how completely ridiculous the junket system often can be, especially for the actors. All week, Cusack and Co. have been forced to sit around a jacuzzi and answer the same stupid questions over and over and over again — I found it remarkable, really, that Cusack could keep his brain matter intact after being asked, for the 43rd time in three hours, what he would do if he could travel back to the ’80s. It’s also somewhat remarkable, not that his answers have been strikingly similar from interview to interview, but that so many outlets running these interviews tout them as “exclusives.” Why is it “exclusive”? Because apparently these entertainment journalists have successfully elicited the same exact answers, but at different points in time. Thus, they own “exclusivity” to that ten-minute period? (Note, also, that many outlets in the junket game also tout as “exclusive” round-table interviews done with other journalists, all of whom share the exact same material).

Below is a sampling of interview questions that Cusack has been asked this week. Having looked at interviews on both movie blogs and in print publications, I also found it fascinating that it was the major print outlets that asked the most humiliating questions of Cusack. The point of this exercise, however, is not just to reveal how moronic entertainment journalists can be, but to demonstrate that John Cusack’s supposed abrasiveness is perhaps not borne out of a personality flaw, but out of impatience for idiocy. Cusack’s a smart guy, who — yes — is a little touchy about his ’80s oeuvre, but honestly, it’s been 25 years. How many times could you withstand being asked about Better Off Dead before you revealed some irritability? I’m surprised, really, that no one asked him for their “two dollars.”

I might also note that these interview questions were not atypical — they were fairly characteristic of the types of questions he received all week long.

The New York Times’s Dave Itzkoff:

“Which member of “The A-Team” do you most closely identify with?”

I have to say Mr. T, just because he lived in Chicago. There was this place he used to go to work out, and he’d always be there in the steam room with this big towel around him, with his mohawk and his chains. He was the nicest guy.

“‘Dynasty’: Krystle or Alexis?”

I was “Dallas.” I was Team Charlene Tilton, Team Victoria Principal. I had a little boy crush on Ms. Tilton and Ms. Principal. Maybe a little more than a boy crush.

“Tiffany or Debbie Gibson?”

I used to hear those things and try to re-enact medieval truncheon battles. I would be anti-Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

Vanity Fair

“Is sexting the modern equivalent of standing on somebody’s lawn with a boombox, blaring a Peter Gabriel song?”

I guess it is. Either that or Twittering. As long as you can tell somebody how you feel in 140 characters or less.

“You’re not even slightly sentimental for the ’80s? “

I don’t know. Not really. I personally remember it being a kind of dark decade.

“Why? Because John Mahoney wouldn’t let you date his daughter?”

I remember the ’80s being about the Cold War and Reagan and the homeless problem and AIDS. To me, it was kind of a dark, depressing time. I thought those “Morning in America” commercials were fucking scary.

Associated Press:

“Were you more Motley Crue or The Cure?”

I was more of the Clash, Fishbone, The Jam.

“If you had a real hot tub time machine that worked, where would you go and why?”

It would be pretty fun if you could go back to when your favorite bands were first playing. Like if you were a drummer, you could go back to Liverpool right when the Beatles fired Pete Best and they’re looking for a drummer and replace Ringo Starr. There could be a couple historic opportunities there. Or you could go see the Rolling Stones’ first American tour or something, or see David Bowie or see the Sex Pistols when they first came to America at CBGBs. You could do an awesome rock ‘n’ roll tour and see bands’ first explosions.

You could also travel back in time and not meet people that you ended up meeting and going out with. You could avoid a few bad relationships by just actually not bumping into them, so that would be good.

iVillage

“If you could go back and change something about your life, like your character in Hot Tub Time Machine does, what would it be? “

There’d have to be multiple stops. There’s too many to choose. I’d probably go back and not do some of the movies I did. Unmeet some people that I know.

Hollywood.com

What is the message of Hot Tub Time Machine?

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Comments

Cue the interview where they made him hold the boom box up with Amanda Peet. ::cringe::

Posted by: lawnjart at March 26, 2010 12:10 PM

Junket Jackassery is a new series on Pajiba where were attempt to examine the role of entertainment journalism, and the blurring of lines between movie criticism and outright promotion, among other related topics

I give you a standing ovation for this idea, and look forward to reading. I hope you can keep it up.

Posted by: Jerce at March 26, 2010 12:10 PM

Whoa, those questions are beyond stupid. If I were Cusack I'd have been swinging a chair leg after about half an hour of that retarded shit.

Posted by: Jerce at March 26, 2010 12:14 PM

I guess it's pretty annoying, but if I were being paid millions and millions of dollars to do it, I'd slap on a smile and get on with it.

That said, the journalists could stand to get a little more original. The actors wouldn't be so irritated, the readers might be interested (unless you're writing for People or, God forbid, Teen People, in which case -- just off yourself. Do it now), so it'd be a win-win for all involved.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 26, 2010 12:19 PM

If I were an actor at the end of a junket I'd start answering questions in the most insane manner possible. Just to fuck around with the last-tier journalists.

“Which member of “The A-Team” do you most closely identify with?”

The van. Because it got rode hard and dirty, knowadaimean?

“‘Dynasty’: Krystle or Alexis?”

TEQUIIIIIIILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

“You’re not even slightly sentimental for the 80s? “
The Tiki God in all of us demands a sacrifice to the great spirit of wine and coconuts. I, for one, will choose a small cockatiel and tie it to the strings of the wind and release it into a rainbow of pure mineral spirits and song.

Etc.

Posted by: figgy at March 26, 2010 12:23 PM

The MESSAGE of HOT TUB TIME MACHINE?????
The message is fuck you!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 26, 2010 12:23 PM

This reminds me of Cusack in "America's Sweethearts".

Posted by: arrrghzi at March 26, 2010 12:28 PM

Jeezus. And then you have the satellite interviews where you're rotating among station after station after station, being asked the same inane questions for two hours. I think I'd lost it occasionally. too.

Posted by: Joseph J. Finn at March 26, 2010 12:28 PM

I think I would go absolutely mental if I had to sit through these things. I am actually surprised more of the actors don't breakdown in the middle of it and storm off or just stop answering questions on principle.

I do wonder if the journalists asking the questions realise how stupid they sound, or hate it too. Do they have to ask these sort of things to satisfy their editors/audience, or do they actually think it's cutting edge journalism?

Posted by: Carrie (Teabelly) at March 26, 2010 12:37 PM

The lesson I got was: If you get the chance to go back in time, take the opportunity to pork a friend's mother when she was hot and slutty. Oh, Mrs. Vo. We're going to do such filthy things to each other.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 26, 2010 12:38 PM

“Why? Because John Mahoney wouldn’t let you date his daughter?”

How do you not answer that with a scowl and a 'No, because that wasn't in fact reality'?

Posted by: Carrie (Teabelly) at March 26, 2010 12:41 PM

What is the message of Hot Tub Time Machine?

Cusack: Message? The fucking message? The message here, kids, is DON'T DO DRUGS! Do you know what rehab runs you these days? You think that piece of shit 1408 paid for it? I might as well switch to T.V., they giving that little fucker Christian Slater a new show every fucking season, I could do that shit high as kite and last at least 2 seasons.

Posted by: Xtreme at March 26, 2010 12:41 PM

“Why? Because John Mahoney wouldn’t let you date his daughter?”

I remember the 80s being about the Cold War and Reagan and the homeless problem and AIDS. To me, it was kind of a dark, depressing time. I thought those “Morning in America” commercials were fucking scary.


I love it. The interviewer expecting a light and fluffy answer. And gets the shit kicked out of his (or her, it's equal opportunity jackassery) light and fluffiness.

Posted by: Pausner at March 26, 2010 12:54 PM

I actually read an interview with him recently, and he came across as really charming and sweet. It made me happy, I hate when celebrities I admire are dickheads.

Posted by: Julie at March 26, 2010 12:56 PM

I like Xtreme's perspective on the matter.

Posted by: Jerce at March 26, 2010 12:56 PM

Actually, my favorite 'junket' bit is in the otherwise shitty Notting Hill. You know, when Hugh Grant pretends to be writing for "Horse and Hound" and has to ask inane questions from the actors and he has no idea what the hell the movie's about?

"So, are there any horses in this movie?"
"No...it's set in space."

Sometimes I think the reporters are like Hugh Grant in that scene.

Posted by: figgy at March 26, 2010 1:01 PM

you read my mind, figgy. except for the "otherwise shitty" part.

i really like notting hill.

i'm a sucker for a foppish hugh grant flick.

Posted by: stopthemadness at March 26, 2010 1:07 PM

I liked his answer about traveling back in time to see all the new emerging bands... that'd be a GREAT use of time travel!

Posted by: snapnhiss at March 26, 2010 1:08 PM

Going back in time to see old bands was straight out of High Fidelity's list of Top Five Jobs.

Posted by: lawnjart at March 26, 2010 1:12 PM

Then maybe that's how he messes with the journos, he just answers questions as if he were a character from his previous films. He should do Martin Blank next.

Posted by: Carrie (Teabelly) at March 26, 2010 1:16 PM

Maybe I have to much empathy for these actors who are forced to do hour after hour of 10 minute interviews. If I was a blogger doing one of these 'exclusive' 10 minute interviews, I think I'd show up with a pint of whiskey and 2 glasses. I'd start the interview by saying, "The only question I'm going to ask you is 'neat or on the rocks?'; and if I say anything in the next 10 minutes that could be misconstrued as a question, hit me in the face."

Posted by: Lawdog at March 26, 2010 1:21 PM

lawnjart: Doesn't make it a bad answer.

Thanks for doing this Dustin, I hate disliking John Cusack.

Posted by: Mebe at March 26, 2010 1:23 PM

Well you do a silly movie, you're going to get extremely silly questions. I think they should play it like Samuel L Jackson in Snakes on a Plane.

These are even weirder overseas- You tube Johnny Depp, Japan- and you'll see what I mean.

I loooove the SNL Italian Talk show skit. Perfection.

Posted by: bananapanda at March 26, 2010 1:40 PM

I wish someone would ask: Given that comedy is Tragedy + Time and this film is brand new - what is particularly tragic about this film?

Posted by: Danny smooth at March 26, 2010 1:45 PM

Oh, figgz, I knew I loved you for a good reason!! Your answers to those junket questions are hereby nominated to the next EE.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 26, 2010 1:49 PM

Do you think "journalists" have contests to see who can come up with the most inane questions they could possibly ask an actor? Or that they all get together and figure out how to word the same question 17 different ways so they can all ask it?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at March 26, 2010 2:00 PM

Granted the questions are dumb as shit. But dude is paid millions to star and movies and promote the movies. Boo fucking hoo, suck it up and answer the dumb questions. And smile while you do it.

Posted by: EricD at March 26, 2010 2:04 PM

I always liked how he finally did an interview with Defamer to keep them from "talking shit about" him.

He didn't want to do One Crazy Summer even back then, he was so done with that type of role, he hates Savage Steve Holland, etc. So it's amazing anyone thinks he'd talk about that stuff now.

Posted by: lawnjart at March 26, 2010 2:18 PM

If there is anyone dumber than actual journalists, it's entertainment "journalists" (esp. the TV variety). My favorite thing is when they "break" the story of someone's infidelity as if they're announcing our invasion of Iraq in 2003.

Note: I have a degree in journalism, I can talk all the shit about the people who work in it I want

Having said that, if I was him, I'd answer the questions differently every time. He needs to give the questions the thought and gravity they deserve, which is to say, none at all.

“Dynasty: Krystle or Alexis?”

A: Krystal

A: Alexis

A: Blake, he was a silver fox...

A: J.R.

A: Elaine

A: What the fuck is "Dynasty"?

A: 42

A: Can I have a lifeline?

A: No comment

A: Jambalaya!

Posted by: Slash at March 26, 2010 2:18 PM

Reading this makes people like Sean Penn and Joquin Phoenix make more sense.

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at March 26, 2010 5:08 PM

Yeah, I probably spelled Phoenix's name wrong. So what? He probably can't even spell it.

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at March 26, 2010 5:09 PM

This was a great post, Dustin. And I'd love to see some more "junket jackassery". For me, this made Cusack seem even cooler than I already thought he was. I especially love his answer to the retarded John Mahoney comment - awesome.

Posted by: b at March 26, 2010 5:49 PM

Hilarious stuff.

Posted by: Mick J at March 26, 2010 7:21 PM

Thanks Jerce, I was just about starting to feel invisible today.

Posted by: Xtreme at March 26, 2010 10:07 PM

I was thinking of "America's Sweetheart" too.
Hunnnkett.
And Figgy, you must nominate yourself for those answers!

Posted by: trixie at March 26, 2010 11:08 PM

I think you're a bunch of whining babies who've never interviewed a celeb in your lives. Here's how it works: someone makes a quality film, everyone who interviews them writes serious pieces about it (unless they're from Zoo or Maxim) and accordingly, asks serious questions.

When it's a fluff piece, the junkets get silly. What, you really think NYT or Vanity Fair should publish a serious thinkpiece about Hot Tub Time Machine?? Get real and stop hating on people for the sake of it.

Posted by: Me at March 27, 2010 12:56 AM

Get real and stop hating on people for the sake of it.

Wow, someone's Cornflakes seem extra soggy this morning.

Posted by: Xtreme at March 27, 2010 11:00 AM

As stupid and unoriginal and uncreative as those questions are, the idea that these ex-beauty pageant contestants and stand-up comedy failures are 'journalists' is equally dim.

These people can't think of an original question because they've never had an original thought.

Posted by: Protoguy at March 27, 2010 6:54 PM

"Get real and stop hating on people for the sake of it."

Posted by: Me at March 27, 2010 12:56 AM

You're new to this site, aren't you?

Posted by: spazmodeas at March 27, 2010 9:22 PM

Thank god for Inside the Actors studio. John was great on that.

Posted by: grace b at March 28, 2010 11:24 PM

Questions in the style of Adam and Joe:
Who are you?
Faves?
Worsties?
Byyeee!

Posted by: Dora at March 29, 2010 5:59 AM

My gut response is a combination of bananapanda and EricD.

Also... he remembers the 80s as a dark time because of Reagan? Come to whatever conclusions you will about his legacy now, but I remember him as being one of the most widely-beloved presidents certainly in my lifetime. I mean there was even a fondness with which the movies portrayed him during his term and he was a Republican.

Posted by: Eep at March 29, 2010 11:17 AM

Interesting, I am curious what the statistics are on your first point there...

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Posted by: flygguide at November 29, 2010 12:01 PM

As a web surfboarder I 'm immune to such lower intelligence quotient commentaries, luckily so are you, good written material , splendid decision ;).

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Hines Ward will likely be stuck on revis island til 2011 season

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