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Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology: Hollywood and the Hacker

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Think Pieces | Comments (35)



HackerVSWallpaper.jpg

You’ve all seen it on every procedural at this point. They have to have a minimum of one geek, one social pariah who works the technical magic that is completely impenetrable to both the other characters and the audience. Television wasn’t this way twenty years ago, it’s an invention of the Internet age, these digital nerds who wave their hands and pull information out of thin air. Hell, the entire CSI phenomenon is a virtual ode to nerds, not even bothering for the most part with having the obligatory gruff older detective who provides the old-fashioned know how to complement the technomancy of the younger generation. As far as I can tell, they’re all multiple PhDs in fictional sciency stuff that gives them license to push buttons and string together random phrases of technobabble. Sure they get to carry guns too, but that just underlines how cool the geek has become. Once they let you carry guns, you know that you’ve gone mainstream.

Hollywood made this myth brick by brick with every painful depiction of keyboard savants, and is it ever painful for anyone who knows the slightest thing about the technology being shown off. I have almost committed multiple homicides because of people who think their CD drive tray is a cup holder looking at me like I’m the idiot while insisting, “well, just enhance the picture.” Pictures don’t enhance. The pixels are there or they aren’t. Grainy security cam pictures do not become hi def with the press of an imaginary button only the hacker knows about. Fingerprints are rare. DNA results don’t come back in three minutes in the basement. And no, there is nothing you can patter away into a keyboard that will hack into the Pentagon and give you access to files.

Movies and television have conjured computer geeks into modern wizards in perhaps the truest sense of the word that has ever been realized, conjuring hidden knowledge from the very air with arcane language and the clattering of fingers. The reality of a computer expert is a black screen full of white text, completely impenetrable to the untrained, but too intimidating for an audience according to the standards of Hollywood. Fancy monitors and slick touch interfaces, anything to put a visual face on the black hole of text that represents real coding. Never mind that there’s a reason coders type. Text is the most efficient form of communication yet devised for interface with the human animal, a dense soup of information that can nonetheless be engineered into speech and processed into meaning like lightning. Graphical interfaces? Touching the screen to select things? That’s nice for your mp3 player, but if you want to tell the computer to do something complicated enough that it would take sentences to explain to another person, you’re going to need words not pictures. If words weren’t more efficient, our vocal cords would have atrophied by now in favor of charades and pictionary.

There’s a sort of worship to it, an info age acknowledgement of powers beyond the ken of mere mortals. Our entertainment worships the hacker, but invariably misses the point, damaging the foundation of the very thing it idolizes, like cro-magnons worshiping iron by washing it in water and crying at the rust. The effect is being idolized without understanding the cause.

But assigning the difficult to the category of magic trivializes the act even while glorifying it. Intelligence becomes a gift, something that is assigned at birth, and whose chosen sons and daughters easily learn the chants and motions of some secret brotherhood. By this process skills and intelligence become a predetermined destination, not a process of unending work and effort. It’s like the old joke about how a plumber charges $150 for hitting a pipe once and fixing a problem. It’s itemized as: ten cents wear and tear on the hammer, $149.90 for knowing where to hit it. If we systematically attribute skill to magic, that joke twists from reflecting the value of experience to mocking us with someone who knows something we don’t.

Hacking, computer whizbangery and all manner of other nerdy pursuits are beloved by Hollywood. Never has a writer been able to pull out such a variety of deus ex machina with so little effort. But show the effort. Don’t just toss a kid three PhDs and explain that he’s a genius. That means ignoring that genius or not, this guy did the legwork, he did the thousands of hours of work to be where he is at today. He wasn’t just born with it. This isn’t just a complaint about some perceived slight to the smart people, it breaks the system for everyone else too.

If knowledge is just a matter of having been born a genius and handed degrees and magic abilities by a lazy screenwriter, then there is no reason for anyone else to try at all. It becomes an excuse for anyone who isn’t a genius to not try at all, because if there is no notion that ability comes from effort, than effort becomes a waste of time. How many times do you have to tell someone to use their damned brain and figure out something for themselves, to just google for options or things to try, before you realize that they have been trained not to think in the first place, that if you have to think you’re already unqualified since someone can do it without thinking.

That’s the way you destroy a society. That’s how you end up with not enough engineers and scientists and ten million people who call tech support when their monitor flickers and a handyman when a picture won’t stay straight.

Amongst the right groups of computer people there is a hacker ethos, a culture that surrounds the term. It hasn’t the slightest thing to do with piracy, or breaking into servers, or even computers themselves at the end of the day. Hacking is using your brain, plain and simple. It’s figuring out how to make a cabinet door close that keeps swinging open, it’s tooling around under the hood to work out what that noise is coming from the engine, it’s wanting to know how things work.

You can keep your geniuses Hollywood. Geniuses without the drive to excel flip burgers along with everyone else. Don’t show me people who do magic with a few strokes on the keyboard. Show me people who think.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here.









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Comments

Right on! I work in IT and have been programming for the same company for 20+ years. I remember when computers were monochrome screens without mice and data sharing was done on floppy disks. When people ask me what I do, I always make the joke that if it has more than one button and plugs into a wall, I know how to use it and/or repair it. But it has a huge amount of truth behind it. People call me when the photocopier gets jammed. When the printer says "add toner". When a light bulb needs changing. I'm not saying my co-workers are not smart because they are all thinking, breathing humans who are great at their respective jobs. But often times I think they have forgotten how much work goes into a computer system where you press a button and it does what you want it to. People don't think anymore. I'm always amazed when someone requests a change to the system and says "Can't the computer just do it?". But I sometimes think I'm getting dumber too. I don't remember things anymore, I just grab my smartphone and look it up. "Who was that guy from a few years ago who was big in the news for doing that thing? You know who I mean..." Yeah, I do. After googling it.

Posted by: walct68 at September 21, 2011 3:25 PM

Fingerprints are rare. DNA results don’t come back in three minutes in the basement.

I love the scene in Seven where Mills and Somerset are watching a tech run the very clear prints they lifted from the painting at the Greed murder. They are hovering over his shoulder and he says "You guys may want to go wait somewhere else, I've seen this thing take a week or more to find a match." So the detectives end up hanging out in the hall for what must be a few hours because the next scene their Captain is waking them up because they got a hit.

It's a great touch. The same with Comerset pouring over books in the library trying to figure out John Doe's motives. Old school detective skills and technology hand in hand, but not as a crutch. Both require work and patience.

Nicely said, Steven.

Posted by: TylerDFC at September 21, 2011 3:26 PM

You mean Hackers lied to me? Seriously though, you are absolutely correct. I think it's come about from sheer laziness on the part of the writer/director/moneyraper and our willingness to accept it. I think we can all blame Star Trek for the beginning of this trend.

Posted by: admin at September 21, 2011 3:28 PM

I have almost committed multiple homicides because of people who think their CD drive tray is a cup holder looking at me like I’m the idiot while insisting, “well, just enhance the picture.”

I call bullshit.

Posted by: the new transported man at September 21, 2011 3:29 PM


"Movies and television have conjured computer geeks into modern wizards in perhaps the truest sense of the word that has ever been realized, conjuring hidden knowledge from the very air with arcane language and the clattering of fingers."

I love how Muggles look at me when I use Google for them.
~~~

Posted by: Meander at September 21, 2011 3:29 PM

*slow clap*

Posted by: Drake at September 21, 2011 3:32 PM

I used to work for an uncle who was a plumber. It still amazes me what we could charge people considering that unless a water heater is involve or say a well pump, pretty much everything can be fixed quickly and easily. The toilet is one of the great human inventions just because it is so damn simple to operate and fix.

Now I am a fifth year mechanical engineering student. I can't tell you the number of people that argue with me that 9-11 was a conspiracy. I love people who can't even define simple terms like Force, Acceleration, etc... want to tell me about structural mechanics.

Posted by: Diablo at September 21, 2011 3:34 PM

Just an observation, but I think that it isn't just in tech -- that a lot of people out there are just really shitty at basic problem solving. I notice this especially among my undergrads, although it's most likely a function of their age range/maturity level, I know for a fact that I was better at Looking Shit Up back in the day than they were. Troubleshooting, checking out what you can find on your own first, doing a simple google search... these all seem like no-brainers to me, but I'll be damned if most of my students take the time or initiative to look things up -- and then get flabbergasted when I don't hand them the answer on a sparkly silver platter.

This is probably a little more bitter than it usually would be, because after telling my students a frillion times to check the documents posted online that clearly outline what they need to provide me with for a written assignment and how to submit it, I've still been getting e-mails and questions about it all day that indicate that no, they haven't gone through the simple process of reading the instructions first.

Kids these days... get off my lawn... etc. etc. etc.

Posted by: linny at September 21, 2011 3:37 PM

Fabulous as usual! And very true. I think this is why I am so fond of all the scenes in Buffy showing the Scooby gang doing research. Getting things done takes work, people. That's why there's that adage of how do you get to Carnegie Hall...

Posted by: Donut Plains at September 21, 2011 4:41 PM

"...because after telling my students a frillion times..."

Thank goodness I don't go to your "university." "Frillion" isn't even a real number, smart guy.

Posted by: Greedy at September 21, 2011 5:15 PM

I beg to differ.

Posted by: UrbanDictionary.com at September 21, 2011 5:30 PM

Y'know Greedy, I'm pretty sure that A) Frinny knows that and B) he/she was trying to use sarcasm. But thanks for trolling. Have a nice day.

As to the broader topic at hand, THANK YOU! Being a developer is just a strange experience. At my H.S. reunion this past weekend, I was met with respect and awe when I told people what I did. I wasn't expecting it, and it made me a little uncomfortable, but contrast that with when I come in to work.

When I walk in the office, my respect level drops considerably, and I'm surrounded by rants and demands from unreasonable people. Tens of thousands of lines of code don't write themselves people, mmmkay? Especially if you want them to actually do something useful. Magic indeed. Hmmph.

Posted by: NateS1973 at September 21, 2011 5:42 PM

Oh, and since posting the first comment, I actually Googled "frillion" and saw the UrbanDictionary entry. Irony. Hehe.

Posted by: NateS1973 at September 21, 2011 5:45 PM

Using urban dictionary to defend a bitter academic's post bemoaning the work ethic and research skills of today's undergrads is slightly amusing. Almost as amusing as spurious indignation at the use of a slang term in the comment section of a snarky movie blog.

Posted by: Greedy at September 21, 2011 5:47 PM

One of the worst has to be Angela on "Bones"... she was a street artist that got a job through her friend Brennan and now she's able to run some amazing computer program that can recreate accidents in a 3d hologram. And she didn't even have to go to school to learn how to do it! I realize that the show isn't meant to be realistic or even intelligent but that strains even the bounds of make believe.

Posted by: snapnhiss at September 21, 2011 6:52 PM

*golf clap* x2.

As a 17 year vet of IT Support, I love this rant.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at September 21, 2011 7:23 PM

Yeah, IT is a funny thing. What it this website's* review of Disturbia that pointed out they were using some chat client/social media site that was way too crazy to be real and pointing out that kids today actually know what those sites look like? I mean, Hackers can be given a free pass because the real shit they would be using would look boring as hell and almost nobody had experience with it back then. But not today. I mean, Sandra Bullock used a ridiculous chat client with HUGE avatars back in The Net. Shit, I've still never ordered a pizza online.

My new job is interesting though. I just recently starting learning stuff so that I can be a developer. Before that, I was (and still am) on a different team that uses tools built by the developers. I feel like I'm in the rare position of someone who can bitch about inadequacies justifiably. Anywho, eventually I'll move into this new position and forget everything I learned while using the tools and have people bitch at me about things that never occurred to me.

* - No, you look it up.

Posted by: pissant at September 21, 2011 7:25 PM

when i went to the phsych ward i met a guy who did IT tech support. he told me all about the secret goverment computer under the pentagon that use to determin who buys certain products.

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at September 21, 2011 7:37 PM

Thank you.

-a software engineer

Posted by: sean at September 21, 2011 7:41 PM

Utah Dynamo: when i went to the phsych ward i met a guy who did IT tech support. he told me all about the secret goverment computer under the pentagon that use to determin who buys certain products.

Yeah, that often happens after a few years or so. Or you turn into a 10 foot tall, 2 ton, rampaging green monster when customers call.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at September 21, 2011 7:47 PM

did anyone here see the jeopardy episodes where they brought in a jeopardy playing super computer against ken jenings. it's ironic he got beat by the machine because he is a computer programmer.

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at September 21, 2011 9:07 PM

snaphiss: Yeah, Bones is a little (read: quite) ridiculous about some things, and Angela and everything she does, particularly her 'magic holograph machine', would be at the top of the list. But they mostly stopped it after a season or two, and even let her evolve into a bit of a nerd herself. I give that show a pass anyway because I feel they're so pro-nerd. Especially lady-scientist nerds, which is pretty awesome. And they make regular references to the time/work involved in studying and earning multiple degrees, so props to the writers.

Posted by: BiblioGeek at September 22, 2011 1:47 AM

Posted by: j. at September 22, 2011 2:21 AM

Hmmm, this article could be livened up by some snappy graphics.........and maybe a montage too.

Posted by: frank_247 at September 22, 2011 3:47 AM

Please,

done to death.

Posted by: AJ at September 22, 2011 9:37 AM

I too would like to be one of those nerds in the tv shows who is somehow able to afford the time, money, health and sheer patience to learn how to hack the internet, obtain three PhDs before turning 25 and yet also have the energy for a rich and fulfilling social life and hook up with a supporting character.

Then I realize this is the fucking real world, and that real nerds I know are simply trying to get through the workday at a boring job that doesn't care how many CS classes they took so they can go home and play some video games or watch anime to relax, if they even have a job right now.

Posted by: MistaSparkle at September 22, 2011 9:56 AM

"I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkDD03yeLnU&feature=player_embedded

Posted by: Rufus at September 22, 2011 1:53 PM

Then I realize this is the fucking real world, and that real nerds I know are simply trying to get through the workday at a boring job that doesn't care how many CS classes they took so they can go home and play some video games or watch anime to relax, if they even have a job right now.

/softly cries in corner due to personal veracity of statement

There is another aspect of this mentality that wasn't mentioned: that people tend to think that just because you can do certain things with a computer, you can do any goddamned thing on it. Right now, I have my brother asking me to create a website where people can order stuff from his store online. Uh, look, I couldn't code a website beyond basic HTML to save my life. But you want me to not only make a appealing site with SEO, but also integrate a web based store with inventory database ( that I will have to update manually, as it item by goddamned item) and make sure it processes the orders correctly. And you want to know what is taking me so long to finish it. Aaaaaaarrrrggghhhhh.

Some days I wish I had been into sports or something more mainstream as a kid, if only so people didn't think I was so smart.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 22, 2011 4:06 PM

There are times I wish the characters would just cast a magic spell, because that would be more realistic than what the movie pretends they are doing.

Posted by: Pat C at September 22, 2011 5:46 PM

I think the absolute nadir was "Swordfish"

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Posted by: energy audits at September 26, 2011 3:01 PM

Jesus, Rufus, that clip is ridiculous. Didn't ANYONE on set know that made no sense?

Posted by: Sherri at September 26, 2011 6:34 PM

Nice blog.keep up the good work.

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Posted by: Richard Zenisek at November 2, 2011 4:11 PM

Unfortunately, for many cloud computing platforms the car analogy you give doesn’t calculate. If you notice an auto as a means to an end, and all of you value is getting there, then you need an application platform like Google’s AppEngine. Here you merely add an app, and the rest is resolved. If however you run ec2, you’re no longer worrying about hardware, but still about instances and virtual servers. Every one of them run OS’s that need to be maintained; it’s like taking taxi’s but still having to know everything about the taxi’s engines. I predict that sometime soon we’ll move towards AppEngine like designs or ‘managed clouds’.

Posted by: php download at November 9, 2011 3:53 AM