Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Pajiba Staff | Lists | December 26, 2016
From a resilient lady to a plucky mole woman, a jaded horse, and a merciless politician, the best lines of television this year came from the mouths of a wide array of incredible characters. So let’s look back and celebrate them.
“Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it. I’m good at driving sober but I don’t relish the opportunity.” Bojack (Will Arnett), Bojack Horseman
“If the term doesn’t ring a bell, maybe you know it as Hoboken squat cobbler, full moon moon pie, Boston creme splat, or Simple Simon the ass man.” Saul (Bob Odenkirk), Better Call Saul
“Did you know that they’re ALL the old one now?” Cyndee Pokorny (Sara Chase), Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on The Backstreet Boys
“I like Flo Rida. Moms need to be able to enjoy rap, too.” Darius (Keith Stanfield), Atlanta
“Later, I drank my mom’s Mai Tai and climbed up on the table because I forgot it was a grill. That’s why I don’t have footprints.” Lindsay Jillian (Kether Donohue), You’re The Worst
“At first, I thought you and the others were gods. Then I realized you’re just men. And I know men. You think I’m scared of death? I’ve done it a million times. I’m fucking great at it. How many times have you died? Because if you don’t help me I’ll kill you.” Maeve Millay (Thandie Newton), WestWorld
“Why are you keeping this curiosity door locked?” Dustin Henderson (Gaten Matarazzo), Stranger Things
“You’re playing a very dangerous game of chicken with the head fucking hen, ‘cause if I don’t win the White House, O’Brien is gonna sink your stupid boats and you’re gonna look like a hair-sprayed asshole in your 1980s mother-of-the-bride dress. And if I do win, I will have my administration come to your shitty little district and shake it to death like a Guatemalan nanny. And then I’m gonna have the IRS crawl so far up your husband’s colon, he’s gonna wish the only thing they find is more cancer. So can I count on your vote, or do I need to shove a box of White House M&Ms up your stretched out, six-baby vag?” Selina Meyer (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Veep
“Oh, Bob, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not, but politics is no longer just theater, it’s show business. So let’s put on the best show in town.” - Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey). House of Cards
“Winter is here.” - Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner), Game of Thrones
Did we miss your favorite TV quip of the year? Share it in comments.
