Proof That Every Rabbit In The History Of Cinema Has Been Evil
If you’ve ever owned a rabbit, you know that they are nothing more than small, fluffy bundles of pure evil. Screenwriters know that, too. Many of them speak the truth with dangerous rabbit characters, but others are too afraid to stand up to Big Cuteness. But even when writers try to make their rabbits seem sweet and innocent, the hellfire within shines through.
Rabbit of Caerbannog
Monty Python obviously did their homework on this one. Perhaps one of the most accurate depictions of a rabbit ever on screen, the Rabbit of Caerbannog at first appears adorable but upon closer inspection its true nature is revealed.
The Night of the Lepus Rabbits
More documentary than 70’s B horror flick, this movie illustrates the real horror that awaits mankind if rabbits ever turn on us.
This “friend” of Winnie the Pooh exhibits an extreme paranoid obsession with his garden, which eventually escalates to building a fortress around it, complete with a moat and booby traps.
A willing participant in bestiality, Roger Rabbit also appears to have a problem with alcohol and exhibits wild mood swings.
Every Rabbit in Watership Down
Sure all the other animals are out to kill them, but they have no one to blame but themselves. After all, it all started because the rabbits couldn’t control their abnormal lust and selfishly overpopulated the world.
The Bunny In Fatal Attraction
Rabbits are more than capable of defending themselves if they don’t want to be picked up (I have the scars to prove it.) They are also experts at evading capture. We can only conclude then, that the rabbit in Fatal Attraction participated in his death, became a kamikaze bunny, if you will, knowing it would be worth it for the pain and suffering his dramatic killing would eventually cause his owners. (Yes, I know that isn’t the actually bunny but he real image is a bit much.)
Obviously a rabbit with an extremely high IQ, Bug squanders his intelligence by antagonizing a seemingly never-ending list of dim-witted characters. And rather than gently chide them until they learn their lesson, Bugs usually declares “war” and retaliates with extreme prejudice.
By refusing to show himself to everyone, this giant rabbit wreaks havoc on the family of the man he won’t leave alone.
This jocular southern fellow punches a “tar baby” he had mistaken for a black child when it did not show him the respect he felt he deserved. Racist much?
According to the film The Last Mimzy, in the future humans are doomed as a species while adorable plush rabbits are advanced nanotechnology that have the ability to bestow powers, including telepathy, super-intelligence, and levitation, on anyone they choose.
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