By Marshall Eriksen | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (33)
1. Johnson
2. Bush
3. Harding
4. Polk
5. Filmore
6. Pierce
7. LBJ
8. Hoover
9. Bush
10. Clinton
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Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 4, 2009 9:39 PM
I maintain that Filmore should have been higher up the list.
Posted by: Nicole at May 4, 2009 9:44 PM
No Taft!?
Posted by: Squrrox at May 4, 2009 9:51 PM
Yaaaaaay! You finished the list! I felt a spit-take coming on when that HIMYM scene came on. Granted, nothing will top Lily's line...
"So there they were, douchin' it up..."
And bonus points for anyone who can finish Barney's joke (without googling it):
"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?"
Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 4, 2009 9:52 PM
If Van Buren had kicked the bucket while in office, we would have ended up with President Richard Johnson.
Posted by: branded at May 4, 2009 9:53 PM
@The Pink Hulk:
"I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass."
Posted by: Daniel Carlson at May 4, 2009 9:56 PM
I think I would probably go on a chart-making binge like Marshall if I had an unlimited resource like that. And rankings of awesome things like this would be my start.
Posted by: kelsy at May 4, 2009 10:19 PM
I'm sorry, I'm not usually one to be emotionally pissed off by a sitcom, but if Stella is Ted's wife. . . . I'm gonna be really upset. I got really excited when he broke out the yellow umbrella, only to be crushed by the end of the episode, seeing her droopy-something-is-wrong-yet-again-because-all-i-can-be-is-pissed off-or-saddened-by-the-men-in-my-life-look. ugh.
Posted by: adam at May 4, 2009 10:19 PM
Wait, there really was a punchline to that joke? Wow. Now Lily's reaction makes more sense.
Posted by: Vermillion at May 4, 2009 10:27 PM
I agree that Fillmore should be much higher. It's practically a porno name. The first name, Millard, not so much. Harding and Polk? Bleh. Those are lame.
I'm not really getting Hoover, though. Is that a blowjob reference? I assume it is, but I've been wrong about this before. Talk about awkward...
Posted by: Slash at May 4, 2009 10:29 PM
Agreed with Slash. Harding's a pretty lame addition to the list.
Until you remember the 1920 Harding-Cox election.
Posted by: JoAnnie at May 4, 2009 10:32 PM
Everyone should read 'Veeps: Portraits of Mediocrity." It helps remind us that our Founding Fathers were all psychotic lying cheating bastards, just like we are today.
Also, they manage to maintain a fairly even tone of hating everyone equally right up until they get to Cheney.
Posted by: twig at May 4, 2009 10:40 PM
This is a pie graph of my favorite bars.
And this is a bar graph of my favorite pies!
Posted by: chayes at May 4, 2009 10:47 PM
Grover Cleveland?
Anyone?
Posted by: gforcetwo at May 4, 2009 11:06 PM
Tricia Nixon loved Cox too.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 4, 2009 11:12 PM
And the points go to Carlson!
Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 4, 2009 11:33 PM
I was actually thinking of something much nastier that more directly incorporated the jam. But that one flows more easily.
Posted by: katy at May 4, 2009 11:39 PM
Like Lincoln Logs isn't a great porn name.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 4, 2009 11:50 PM
My money is on Stella introducing Ted to his wife. Come on, guys! It's so obvious in a non-obvious kind of way!
Posted by: mightygodking at May 4, 2009 11:52 PM
There's an amateur porn star named Reagan.
Posted by: Lucas at May 5, 2009 12:45 AM
I still love Lily's "50 Reasons To Have Sex" from Season 3 (I think?)
See it at: http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/files/50Reasons.jpg
Posted by: Neon at May 5, 2009 5:41 AM
Woody Wilson?
Posted by: Jeremy at May 5, 2009 6:58 AM
@The Pink Hulk:
"I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass."
Posted by: Daniel Carlson at May 4, 2009 9:56 PM
Actually, peanut butter is the number one seller in prisons. They use it as lube, so they really can peanut butter their dick up your ass. Don't ask me how I know that.
Posted by: BWeaves at May 5, 2009 8:31 AM
The "Cecilia" chart was when my wife and I lost it. My wife was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.
Posted by: JH at May 5, 2009 8:34 AM
And who doesn't love a good Jim Abbott reference? So Barney's "batting" average is less than that of a pitcher missing his right hand? And Marshall wrote FAILURE on the pie chart. That's LEGEN........wait for it......DARY! (NOTE: Abbott was pretty awesome himself)
Posted by: swingdude at May 5, 2009 9:57 AM
Love this. And the chart intervention last night was classic. Remind me never to eat at a Spanish restaurant with a crib in the middle of the dining area.
Posted by: Julie at May 5, 2009 10:16 AM
I'm of the TV-less, hulu-dependent crowd, but I can't wait to watch tonight!
And Dustin can keep his Ryan Reynolds. A picture of Jason Segel is all I need to brighten my day. Rowr. :-)
Posted by: Shinykate at May 5, 2009 2:08 PM
That episode made me laugh so hard my boyfriend came out to see what was wrong with me. The charts? Amazing! Chart intervention? Amazing-er!
Although, unless you fan-wank when Barney lost his virginity, Marshall's math was wrong.
Posted by: Blonde Savant at May 5, 2009 2:35 PM
Ha, I noticed the same thing Blonde Savant. That's a downside to a show with such kick-ass continuity - when they mess it up, it's hard to miss.
I was also disappointed with the Stella reveal. I hope mightygodking is right.
Posted by: Mimi at May 5, 2009 2:55 PM
Thank you Daniel. Been wondering what the answer to that was.
Posted by: Brian at May 5, 2009 3:14 PM
There's no way Stella is the mom. I won't stand for it!
Was anyone else hoping that it would be Victoria?
Posted by: Blonde Savant at May 5, 2009 4:42 PM
I LOVE HIMYM. Just ordered season 3 from the US. Since the UK doesn't seem to want to release more than season 1... More NPH!!
Posted by: Meimi132 at May 6, 2009 5:54 PM
How does "Johnson" make this list and "Jackson" not?
Posted by: hater from siloam springs at May 7, 2009 11:44 AM
When I'm typing Clinton, I always ALWAYS accidentally type Cliton first. I thought it was just me.
Great list!