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Crystal Pepsi Is Heading Back To Stores And We Hope It Brings These Friends

By Jodi Smith | Lists | June 11, 2015 |

By Jodi Smith | Lists | June 11, 2015 |


Please tell me that most of you remember Pepsi’s 1992 foray into clear soda and that your brain automatically plays this song whenever someone mentions Crystal Pepsi:

Competitive eating star athlete individual Kevin Strahle must have made his devotion to Crystal Pepsi known to the right people, because he received this letter:

That’s…great? I mean, I’m sure I drank Crystal Pepsi at least once, but I don’t remember what it tasted like. I don’t yearn to pour clear diabetes into my mouth, at least not at the moment. However, if this sort of ploy to bring back a failure pop worked, I would like to respectfully start campaigning for the following discontinued foods and drinks:

1. Hi-C Ecto Cooler
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I do remember how this magnificent Slimer sauce tasted and I want it back in my mouth yesterday. Apparently I’m not the only one, as there is a Facebook page dedicated to bringing back this delightful drink.

2. Jell-O Pudding Pops
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They just need a new spokesperson and the flavor will take everything straight to the top! Come on, Popsicle! Bring back the creamy goodness on a stick!

3. Keebler Magic Middles
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It was the 90s and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were quite popular, you know. Did I eat Magic Middles on pizza back then? Yes. Yes I did. AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN IF I COULD BUY THEM.

4. Dunkaroos
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You got a tiny pack of cookies shaped like fun things and you had a side of frosting with SPRINKLES. Sure, childhood obesity is bad, but I don’t want to give these to my kid. I want them for myself so I can start working on my awesome Dunkaroos gut.

5. Flintstones Push-Pops

The commercial speaks for itself.