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Jeremy Corbyn Shows Us The Best Way Of Dealing With Piers Morgan

By Petr Navovy | Miscellaneous | September 19, 2017 |

By Petr Navovy | Miscellaneous | September 19, 2017 |


It’s a hypothetical dilemma we’ve all pondered: What would we do if jizz-encrusted reactionary tube sock Piers Morgan tried to join in on a conversation you’re having?

I mean, I haven’t pondered it for long. There are some simple, very direct answers.

But that’s me.

If you happen to be a much classier sort of person then things might go a little differently—as happened to be the case at the after party for the recent GQ Men of the Year awards. Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was in attendance at the awards ceremony to present London-based grime artist—and vocal supporter of Mr Corbyn and his policies—Stormzy, with the best solo artist prize.

Piers Morgan was also, for some reason, there.

He’s always there isn’t he? Even when you think he isn’t. Like mold.

Now, Jeremy Corbyn is a big fan of his local football club, Arsenal FC. At the after party of the GQ awards he was having a little chat with Spanish Arsenal FC player Hector Bellerin when Piers Morgan tried to join in. Jeremy Corbyn, whose entire political life has been given to causes that fly in the face of someone like Piers Morgan, simply switched to Spanish and boom—just like that the sexist fuckmonkey and Daily Mail columnist (a tautology, I know) was denied any conversational agency.

According to The Independent:

According to Mr Morgan’s Daily Mail column, he had been seated at the same table as Mr Bellerin, and earlier in the evening had been talking to him about Arsenal’s recent run of poor form.

He wrote: “Later, fellow Arsenal fan Jeremy Corbyn came over to speak to him. When I tried to interrupt, the Labour leader - whose wife is Mexican - promptly switched to fluent Spanish to shut me out of the conversation.”

Morgan then apparently asked Mr Corbyn what he had told the footballer. To which Corbyn:

I told him to please send Arsène Wenger [Arsenal FC manager] my very best and assure him he continues to have my full support, even if he’s lost yours, Piers. In fact, particularly because he’s lost yours…’

via GIPHY

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Petr Knava lives in London and plays music