No, Robert Downey, Jr. Will Not Make Your Trifling Indie Flick, You Plebes

By Dustin Rowles | Marvel Movies | May 1, 2015 |

Let’s just admit what we know is true: Robert Downey, Jr. is better than the rest of us. He is a CINEMATIC GOD. The man has gone through hell and back, and yeah, maybe some folks helped him along the way (Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, David E. Kelley), but Robert Downey, Jr. doesn’t owe nobody nothing.

So, if you’re thinking that, in between Marvel flicks or after he leaves the Universe, that he might deign to help and up-and-comer with their Sundance flick (dismissive wank), forget about it, as he told Entertainment Weekly during the neverending Avengers press tour:

…they’re exhausting and sometimes they suck and then you just go, ‘What was I thinking?’ ” Downey Jr. explained about why he wouldn’t sign up for an independent film.

“But I’m interested in doing all different kinds of movies. Sometimes the little movies are the ones that wind up taking the most out of you because they’re like, ‘Hey, man, we’re just running a couple of days behind. Do you think you can stay through your birthday and then come back on the fourth of July. And, by the way, but, like, the crew — can you pay for the craft services? And, oh, by the way, man, when we go to Sundance, it’s like, can we just sit you in a chair and you can sell this for six days in a row so that we’ll make 180 bucks when it opens in one theater?’” he continued warming up to his subject, pretending to be an indie moviemaker. And then caps it off with his own rejoinder.

“Actually, most of you are kind of inexperienced and lame,” he said.

Yeah, you guys! Fuck those lame indie flicks. Robert Downey, Jr. is a movie star. He doesn’t do puny movies. If you want someone to do your lame-ass indie flick, ask Bill Fucking Murray.

(Also, probably no one else has seen it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that his frame of reference for bad indie-flick experiences is Charlie Bartlett, a middling effort I saw, I believe, at Sundance).

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