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I'd Like to Meet His Tailor

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (27)



wolfman_claw.jpg

The Wolfman is a very frustrating film. It sets out to recapture the spirit of the legendary 1941 version of The Wolf Man, starring Lon Chaney, Jr. The basic framework of the original’s story remains intact, and the plot additions made do work for the most part, adding to the spirit of the Victorian legend without succumbing to the sort of modernization that adds spunky side kicks, saucy love interests, or politically modern sentiments blathered from 19th century mouths. But on the other hand, it fails to modernize the themes of the story such that we can relate to the deeper metaphors of the legend.

Instead it modernizes with special effects, gore, and a willingness to peek into the darkness. The special effects are decent, the transformation into a wolf suitably grotesque. Muscles and bones roil under the skin to reknit into a monster. Blood spatters and sprays, coils of intestines and severed limbs go flying all over the place, in between the obligatory bouncing decapitated heads. We get glimpses into a 19th century asylum, the height of sadism as a healing process.

But they took the visuals in the wrong direction by trying to stay true to the Lon Chaney Jr. visual take on the character. Benicio Del Toro looks exactly like Lon Chaney Jr. when transformed into a wolf, which is to say that his face looks nothing like a wolf and everything like an actor wearing the best yak hair that 1940s makeup artists could patch together with Elmer’s glue. Look, certain details, even irrelevant ones, matter to particular stories, but others just don’t. The Hulk better damned well be green, but the Wolfman’s face doesn’t have to look like the Teen Wolf’s older brother. Early in the film, the wolf is suitably frightening, hidden in the shadows and darting in to execute with wicked savagery, but around the seventh time lightning flashes and you say “fuck Lon, quit jumping out from behind trees!” it loses a little of its edge.

Problems with the wolf effects aside, the film itself is supremely engrossing, pulling you in with the mystery of what exactly is going on. There is certainly no mystery that Lawrence is going to get bitten and turn into a werewolf, and so the film doesn’t try. Instead, it invests mystery in the relationships between the characters, into what happened in Lawrence’s childhood, the nature of his father, the death of his mother. The film works slowly at these bits, parceling out slim portions. The film really wants to be more than a monster film, it wants to be about the relationships between fathers and sons, and more particularly about the relationship between civilized man and the beast within.

The problem is that the werewolf myth, particularly the version that plays out in this film, hinges on the tension of Victorian puritanism. The sort of society in which a man teeters at the edge of snapping because even the table legs have been covered with cloth in order to prevent impure thoughts. If parts of who you are must be suppressed every single day, every single breath, if your very impulses are condemned as base and immoral, if rules systemically trump desire, then the ultimate forbidden fantasy is for simple release.

This simply doesn’t resonate in and of itself to an audience who can order anything imaginable with next day shipping, watch the most hideous simulated violence on a continuous loop of pay per view, and indulge in the most depraved sex acts imaginable, either through the proxy of the Internet or at the nearest downtown bar. As such, it is not the scenes of the wolf that are the most fascinating, but those depicting Victorian England. To our eyes, that, not the wolf, is the strange and alien spectacle. To our anarchic and satiated society, the wolf is not a tempting escape, but a Tuesday night.

Joe Johnston has crafted a pitch perfect gothic horror film. It draws you in, captivates you, and other than a few stumbling points, maintains its hold on you to the end. The problem is that once it’s over, there’s an empty feeling, the feeling that while your brain can identify the depth and layers of the story, your heart just doesn’t respond to them. Worth seeing? Certainly, it’s a good horror film, a throwback to the truly old school. The fact that it’s so good is what makes it so disappointing that it doesn’t manage to be great.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here.









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Comments

It may not be the greatest movie out there, which is a shame, but I'll take "good" over the usual run of garbage Hollywood keeps churning out.

So yeah, I'll watch it.

Posted by: Four Eyes at February 12, 2010 7:53 PM

I was unimpressed by the traiers but your review (despite your disappointment) makes it seem worth at least a matinee price of entrance. Might just have to see it.
Also, Warren Zevon FTW!

Posted by: Katie at February 12, 2010 7:58 PM

And of course by "traiers" I meant trailers. Blame my excitement over "Werewolves of London" quotes.

Posted by: Katie at February 12, 2010 8:01 PM

I really wanted to see this when I first saw the trailer, but after seeing the ads pop up repeatedly, it started looking less and less appealing. Good to see that it actually would be worth my time since I would rather not see Valentine's Day and I want to go to a movie this weekend.

Posted by: Jen K at February 12, 2010 8:02 PM

Gypsie: You killed the wolf.
Larry Talbot: Well, there's no crime in that is there?
Gypsie: The wolf was Bela.
Larry Talbot: You think I don't know the difference between a wolf and a man?
Gypsie: Bela turned into a wolf and you killed him. A werewolf can only be killed by a silver bullet, or a silver knife...*looks at Talbot's cane* ...or a stick with a silver handle.
Oh, and like, choke it with a silver piano wire. So four ways. Sorry.
Also (shit) you could probably, like, blow it up with a grenade filled with silver shrapnel. That would be cool. Don't use dynamite or anything like that. There needs to be some element of silver in there. I'm not certain if you've picked up on that yet, but it's important.
You could make it eat silver...or something cool like that. Heavy metal poisoning. *air guitar* That would be badass.
Oh, and if you took the time to forge silver horseshoes, you could probably trample a werewolf to death also.
So like, ten ways. Sorry.
Larry Talbot: You're insane! I tell you, I killed a wolf! A PLAIN, ORDINARY WOLF!

(It's in the director's cut.)

Posted by: superasente at February 12, 2010 8:19 PM

his hair was perfect

Posted by: furtherbeyond at February 12, 2010 8:26 PM

Gimme a beat, y'all.....


I ain't gon' fiddle wit' it....(unh)

If Mr. Twiddle ain't innit (unh).......

Remember that guy? In the original? The little guy with the bad Cockney accent who was Ralph Bellamy's dogsbody, nee bitch?

Love that guy.......

Posted by: Robert Sims at February 12, 2010 8:45 PM

[I]t is not the scenes of the wolf that are the most fascinating, but those depicting Victorian England. To our eyes, that, not the wolf, is the strange and alien spectacle.

Sounds like it'd be a good pairing with Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula, then--an Anthony Hopkins double-header!

Terrific review, SLW, even if the movie was disappointing for you. You give us what we need to decide for ourselves whether it's worth our time (I'm leaning towards rental).

Posted by: Jerce at February 12, 2010 9:22 PM

Sounds ok, to hear the effects aren't that great makes me sad. I was hoping for some kickass Rick Baker shit!

Posted by: Mebe at February 12, 2010 11:34 PM

I saw a werewolf buying a used car at Del Mar.

It was a bloody red coupe de ville.

The version on "Stand in the Fire" is epic.

Posted by: , at February 12, 2010 11:47 PM

This film is SO going to make a SUPER-average Friday night rental one day in a year or two! I'm so excited!

Posted by: Daniel Hall at February 13, 2010 1:36 AM

I like "Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner" more, but I don't think that's getting made into a movie. Although I think it would make a great horror movie.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at February 13, 2010 6:26 AM

Mrcreosote, That's an excellent idea, actually. Don't know why I never thought of it. Don't know why no one else ever thought of it, no one who makes movies. It's such a visual song, a complete narrative, with action, adventure, betrayal, blood ... somebody get on this.

Posted by: , at February 13, 2010 9:30 AM

What the fuck kind of bars you going to, Wilson?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 13, 2010 1:13 PM

I like Billy Bob Thornton as Roland, and I'll bet he'd go along with it, he was a Zevon guy, sang backup on one of his CDs.

Somebody make this so I don't have to.

Posted by: , at February 13, 2010 2:16 PM

The review doesn't mention anything about Hopkins' performance.

/wierd

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 13, 2010 3:29 PM

I'm confused about this movie. This review was great, but I'm still not sold on the movie itself. If Mr. DaC ponies up the dough, it looks like I'll have little choice.

Posted by: duckandcover at February 13, 2010 3:34 PM

This was a really great review that actually made me want to see this movie. Great job!

Posted by: AgoGo at February 13, 2010 5:33 PM

Just saw the movie, and I think this review sums it up pretty well. The story was adequate. The effects were adequate. Etc. The one weird thing about the movie is that I left feeling like I barely got to see anyone act. Maybe it's because its a relatively short movie, but I just felt like these great actors were all together for something that could have really been great, but it didn't quite get there. But that's just my opinion. Still enjoyed it, though.

Posted by: Lake at February 13, 2010 10:04 PM

I love the old Hammer and Universal films, so I really enjoyed this movie. It was fantastic! It was refreshing to see a movie with very good acting, sets and atmosphere. If you like vampires that sparkle (Twilight) then this is not the movie for you.

Posted by: Kyle at February 14, 2010 12:29 AM

Benicio Del Toro was like a bloated Keanu Reeves, and I couldn't keep agent Smith from seeming like agent Smith. How come no one in England has an english accent? My puppies look cooler play fighting than the two werewolves rolling around together did. Maybe it's because I JUST got back from the movie and my disappointment is still fresh.

Posted by: MrSexyDevilPants at February 15, 2010 2:21 AM

I also enjoyed the throw-back feel of the movie and the mindfuck of the father/son relationship, but for the first few minutes I couldn't get over Benicio's L.A. accent. No different than in "Fear & Loathing." The tequila I drank beforehand kept giving me the urge to strip everytime the werewolves turned and that helped keep me awake.

Posted by: mfg at February 15, 2010 2:25 AM

I hate how Emily Blunt's voice always sounds like she's upset/sobbing. You can hear it in the trailer. Does she do that much in the movie?

Posted by: Sara at February 15, 2010 6:52 AM

" The sort of society in which a man teeters at the edge of snapping because even the table legs have been covered with cloth in order to prevent impure thoughts."

Um, what?

Posted by: BWeaves at February 15, 2010 9:02 AM

There's a scene where (in my opinion) Benecio Del Toro is looking at Emily Blunt as she tends to a lip wound of his, and the look in his eyes says, 'If you even breathe wrong, I'm gonna fuck you senseless.' And it was amazing to me how so much could be said without words in a thirty second scene with barely any dialogue.

But there's something wrong with me so take that with a grain of salt.

Posted by: Brittany at February 20, 2010 4:22 AM

you forgot the lame modern twist of the "two versions of the same thing fighting each other" showdown finale, eg the hulk, iron man, ...others..

Posted by: ricky ticky at February 20, 2010 7:41 PM

Have we seen the same movie ?

Granted, I have not seen The Original (you know, Lon Chaney, bla blah) and thus am not in any position to appreciate the remake quality of this film, but I have actually seen and loved a few classics (Hammer, James Whale etc) and, if this a homage, then it's a poorly executed and unimaginative one.

I don't want to start a list of what I didn't like, firstly because it would be pretty long, and secondly because I don't want this movie to make me lose anymore time than it already did, but I have to post my warning : if being able to predict every line and situation in a movie annoys you, then stay away from the Wolfman.

On the other hand, if Emily Blunt's perpetual "on-the-verge-of-crying" expression pushes your buttons - bring it on baby !

A terrible, terrible, terrible movie.

Posted by: tanas at August 4, 2010 6:59 PM


















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