blogspot
visitor
The Time Traveler's Wife Review | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

413_7326917141.jpg
Let's (Not) Do the Time Warp Again!


The Time Traveler's Wife / Dustin Rowles

Film Reviews | August 14, 2009 | Comments (85)


It’s amazing, the power of a good novel. The way it can suck you in. The way it can block out everything around you and bring you into another world. Put you smack dab in the middle of a war. In a distant meadow. At a baseball game that happened 40 years ago. Or into a magical, levitating, life-affirming kiss. And then you reach the end of a chapter, pull the book away, and realize you’re just lying on your bed holding a book of words - of articles, nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs and punctuation marks. Just a 300 page series of words, strung together in just the right way that you have been transported.

Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveler’s Wife was one of those amazing novels (it made our list of the Generation’s Best Novels) that sent you out of your chair and into a melancholic love affair, witness to one of modern literature’s most heartfelt romances. Robert Schwentke’s The Time Traveler’s Wife, on the other hand, is the cinematic equivalent of so many words on a page. A series of scenes stitched together by scores of hands, robbed of the effective qualities that made Audrey Niffenegger’s novel so compelling. To the extent that the film works for a reader of the book, it’s only to trigger memories, to remind you of what you loved about it, and to provide a few new faces for your mind’s version of events.

Indeed, Schwentke’s The Time Traveler’s Wife is but a highlight reel of the novel, a Cliff’s note version, stripped of the lingering melancholia, seemingly rushed together with maximum focus on the book’s dramatic plot turns, and minimum regard for its pace and tone. Despite the strong casting choices, almost none of the book’s magic translates onto the big screen. In fact, without the context of the novel, I’d venture that the movie is even less effective: It provides little exposition, almost no explanation of what’s going on, and highlights the book’s many logical inconsistencies. To the novel’s immense credit, it was so absorbing that the pages turned to quickly enough that there wasn’t much time to contemplate those inconsistencies. But they are glaring here.

If you’re at all familiar with the tropes of time travel movies or if you’ve spent much time with Doctor Who, you understand that the one sin in the genre is that you never mess with your own personal timeline. Back to the Future, obviously, revolved around that sin, and Marty McFly spent most of the movie trying to put his back together. The Time Traveler’s Wife dances in the convention’s meadow: What if you could only travel back and forth in your own personal timeline, but you were hopeless to alter the events within? When Henry DeTamble (Eric Bana) was a young boy, his mother died in a tragic car accident, and though for the remainder of his life, Henry would travel back in time to that accident hundreds of times, he’d never be able to alter those events. Not for lack of effort, but because it was fated to happen, and Henry’s genetic disorder — which caused him to travel back and forth through his own timeline involuntarily — never placed him in a position to alter the events.

However, the central love story of The Time Traveler’s Wife seems almost in direct contradiction to this conceit: As a man in his late 30s, Henry travels back in time to meet his wife, Claire (Rachel McAdams), when she’s only a child. In the process, young Claire becomes smitten with the older Henry, so that by the time their real timelines intersect, Claire is already in love with a man that doesn’t yet know she exists (because his present self hasn’t yet traveled back in time to meet her). Future Henry manipulated past Claire into their present relationship. It’s a circular chicken-egg predicament, and while it somehow works in the novel, it fails to pass muster in the movie.

Still, even if you could put aside the time-travel inconsistency and just give into its premise, this ineptThe Time Traveler’s Wife adaptation still falls flat. After Henry and Claire are married in the present, Henry disappears for weeks at a time (traveling back to the past, where he’s often with a younger Claire), which puts a certain strain on their marriage, although it never feels genuine when huge swaths of time take place between scenes. The film completely fails to capture the prolonged loneliness that Claire experiences so poignantly in the book. Perhaps due to cinematic necessity, we follow Henry’s life mostly out of chronological order, but it’s often very difficult to tell which Henry we are seeing — Henry from the past, present, or future — because aside from a slightly longer mane or a few grey hairs, Henry looks the same. Without the contextual cues from the novel, I can only imagine how lost movie viewers who have never read the book might get.

The central conflict in The Time Traveler’s Wife is Claire’s desire to have a baby despite numerous miscarriages that occur when her fetuses, marred with the same genetic, time-traveling abnormality as their father, transport out of her womb and die. Even within the movie’s conceit, this sounds preposterous, but like all the characters in the movie — who never question the logic of what’s going on — we’re supposed to just go with it. Robert Schwentke basically begs his audience not to question the logic or take issue with the implausible the plot, but he’s not a strong enough filmmaker, and he’s not working from a good enough script (from Ghost’s Bruce Joel Rubin) to tap into our suspension of disbelief as Niffenegger did.

It’s not either Bana or McAdams’ fault, however. They are more than serviceable, and The Time Traveler’s Wife fails despite their best efforts. Schwentke never spends enough time in any timeframe of the characters lives for us to get comfortable with them before they’re racing off to pay lip service to another of the novel’s plot points. To his credit, however, after whizzing through 90 percent of the novel in the first hour plus, Schwentke finally does settle comfortably into the question that plagues the audience nearly from the beginning: Why don’t we ever see an older version of Henry? Why does his timeline seem to stop in his early 40s?

And despite all the missteps, the terrible pacing, and the lapses in logic, Schwentke does manage to get a decent head of steam toward the end of the film. But

slight spoilers

that son of a bitch fritters it all away in the last five minutes. By now you probably know that Schwentke changed the novel’s ending,and he did so in perhaps the worst possible way. It’s not the happy, feel-good ending you’d expect to come out of test audience screenings, nor is it the dark, gut wrenching, wistful ending of the novel, either. It’s somewhere in the middle. It’s weak sauce. A tepid nod to no one, not the slavering masses who want the ride off into the sunset or the Niffenegger faithful who want to leave the theater drenched in their own tears. Motherfucker: We go into a tearjerker expecting tears to be yanked from our eyes and sprayed on the seat in front of us. If we’re going into The Time Traveler’s Wife, we want to be manipulated. . I’m not saying we should be proud of it, but goddamnit, anybody who steps into The Time Traveler’s Wife wants a four-hankie weepie, not this listless moist-toilette horseshit. And this may be Schwentke’s worst sin: He doesn’t manipulate the viewer enough. He grabs hold of our heartstrings, but instead of playing them like a harp at a heavy metal concert, he gives them a light strum and walks off the stage, depriving us of wet sleeves, snotty noses, and embarrassed looks. You won’t walk out of The Time Traveler’s Wife sad, you’ll walk out confused, dry-cheeked and disappointed.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. You can email him or leave a comment below.


The Sexiest Aliens of All Time | The Goods: LIve Hard, Sell Hard Review





Comments

Bleh, any time-travel based themes worth exploring have already been covered in Christopher Reeves,' Somewhere in Time.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 14, 2009 4:00 PM

Thanks for the spoilers, as I was curious, because there's no way I'd see this crap. I wouldn't want to ruin the story so perfectly etched in my mind.

Posted by: Dr. Mo at August 14, 2009 4:01 PM

I knew this would suck, there was just something about it. It had one of those cheesy The Notebook vibes about it, and that's not what The Time Travelers Wife needed.

Posted by: George at August 14, 2009 4:03 PM

Nice reference, BSlim. I love me some Elise McKenna.

And now off to listen to the Theme from Somewhere in Time!

Posted by: JH at August 14, 2009 4:04 PM

Was hoping for a District 9 review first, trying to decide if its worth a see or if a better use of my time would be hitting the liquor store on the way home.

Posted by: Iron Lung at August 14, 2009 4:12 PM

As a fan of the book, this review is entirely unsurprising. I really don't see how The Time Travelers Wife could be made into a 2 hour movie that would possibly provide the same experience as the book. The news about the ending really pisses me off though.

Thankfully I am too sated by District 9 to be properly outraged.

Posted by: Eva at August 14, 2009 4:14 PM

Ah, fucking fucker Fuck McFuckedy Fuckerson. How in the hell do you manage to fuck up a book this good? Honestly, THIS MAKES NO SENSE!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at August 14, 2009 4:23 PM

Oh. So that's what finishing it "properly" means. Schwenke is an asshole.

That book is unfilmable. It's just too deep in emotion to express on the screen without it coming off as sappy. I would have passed no matter how good the review.

Another fun time travel movie: Time After Time. :)

Posted by: Chickaboom at August 14, 2009 4:36 PM

So what happens at the end? Does the doctor find a cure? There is no way I will see this shit but I'm curious.

Posted by: vikky at August 14, 2009 4:45 PM

I'm not watching this movie, not in the theater, anyway. But...I want to know...

Spoiler goddamn alert I guess:

Did they chop off his goddamn feet?

Posted by: annoyingmouse at August 14, 2009 4:49 PM

Christ. Just from glancing at the comments, I know I'm not going to have the heart to read the review.

I'm just...damn. Damn. Damn it all to hell.

*mindwipes the fact that this movie was ever made*

Posted by: figgy at August 14, 2009 4:54 PM

BSlim: The only problem I had with "Somewhere In Time" was that Christopher Reeve gets pulled back to the present because he sees THE YEAR EMBOSSED ON A PENNY. I can't read that crap without a freakin electron microscope.

As far as the new movie is concerned, where exactly do the unborn fetuses go? Do they plop from the sky in the middle of a Pro-Life rally? Do they end up as road kill on the New Jersey Turnpike? Do they land on a hunter's head in the middle of deer kill season?

Posted by: BWeaves at August 14, 2009 5:13 PM

Oh, how I'd love to 'finish properly'. All over this p.o.s.

Posted by: Odnon at August 14, 2009 5:27 PM

Dustin, I know you loved the book, but I could not stand it. It was just never-ending grief porn to me. I was annoyed at being so cheaply manipulated when I read the book so there's no way I'll pay $10 for that (even if it's not done the right way), no matter how much I love Rachel McAdams.

Posted by: Claire at August 14, 2009 5:50 PM

High fives Claire

Thank Christ, someone agrees with me.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at August 14, 2009 6:14 PM

yes, but don't you have some speculation on how tiny the director's penis is?

Posted by: gp at August 14, 2009 6:31 PM

Can we just forget that Somewhere in Time happened? Or better yet, go to the year before it was released? Can I just lock myself in a room with clothes that are period appropriate 1979 and imagine myself there?

Posted by: kelsy at August 14, 2009 6:38 PM

I also read Claire's comment and fell in love. Cheap manipulation is exactly why I hate movies like this and Ransom, etc. Put a certified bastard up on the screen and then make me care about him and you have me hooked. Put a child or some other innocent in danger and nine times out of ten I will root for the bad guys just out of spite. Unless they actually tell the story of that person, like in Schindler's List and La vita è bella.

Posted by: EricD at August 14, 2009 6:43 PM

I'm pretty sure you're going to need a pair of Hot Pants.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 14, 2009 6:44 PM

While I got to find said hot pants, I would like to say the reason I really liked the book The Time Traveler's Wife was because it really developed a relationship between the two characters. It was sort of gimmicky and "meant to be" in a weird time-circle sort of way, but at least you could see why the characters actually liked each other. Somewhere in Time--and dare I say Twilight--just assumes a soul mate plot that's incredibly boring.

Posted by: kelsy at August 14, 2009 7:05 PM

I hated the book and from the review, it sounds as if I'd hate the movie even more. I won't be seeing this one, that's for sure.

Posted by: Mnemo at August 14, 2009 7:41 PM

I've never read the book since it always struck me as too romance-y for my tastes, but having read this review, I'm confused about something. So, this time traveling genetic disorder means they travel only within their own timeframe, never straying from within the limits of their "fate", eh? So where the eff do the babies go? They don't have a future to go to... do they become eggs again? And if she was pregnant more than once, wouldn't it have -- at some point -- happened that one of the babies would travel back, say, only a few weeks and then she'd suddenly have, like, clone twins or some weird shit? And if so, where did they both go? Or all go, if she ever ended up with a clone litter? Or was it just that multiple copies of the babies being together in the womb killed them, like how they say a future self can't touch a past self or they'll both disappear or destroy the world or some damn thing? And if so, how come it never kills the mother? I mean, if there's some kind of black hole vacuum going on in her uterus, you'd think it might affect her, right?

There are no good answers, are there? I'll just stop asking.

Posted by: Sarina at August 14, 2009 8:17 PM

Why do they insist on changing the fucking endings to these movies based on books? WHY?

Posted by: Janey at August 14, 2009 8:19 PM

I think if you have not read the book (I haven't) that the movie simply doesn't earn any emotional investment in the characters, so when the 4 hankie moment arrived, I just didn't give a shit.

Posted by: frothygirl at August 14, 2009 9:29 PM

I really want to know what happens at the end without having to watch it myself.

Posted by: Ana at August 15, 2009 1:29 AM

As a man in his late 30s, Henry travels back in time to meet his wife, Claire, when she’s only a child.

THIS IS SOME BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT!

Posted by: Sofía at August 15, 2009 3:49 AM

Wait, the babies time travel? I thought there was something about the babies' genetic structure being so foreign that the mom's bodies started rejecting the fetuses? I didn't know they actually time traveled.

Anyway, I'm with annoyingmouse - I wanna know if [spoiler] they chop his goddamn feet off. [/spoiler] Anyone know?

I still might go see the movie just because I loved the book so much and so I can whine about how the movie effed it all up.

Posted by: Thijs at August 15, 2009 6:04 AM

Sarina, that part of the review wasn't entirely accurate. Most often, Henry travels somewhere in either his past or his future. But there are times he finds himself wandering in a cornfield in Kansas or something, somewhere he will never be outside of his travels.

Posted by: Kate at August 15, 2009 10:28 AM

HIJACK starts here, with a semi-OT weekend diversion:

Among the reasons I think we are fascinated with time-travel books and movies is that we all reach a point in life where we can look back and see three or four or a dozen moments in our lives when if some tiny thing had gone a different direction, if you'd said one thing or done one thing differently, if you'd been 10 seconds earlier or 10 seconds later ("Run, Lola, Run" plays with this idea brilliantly) it would have changed the course of your life and your family's life and your friends' lives -- dozens or hundreds of people who at the very least would have ended up interacting with a different person or people from those they are now.

You would have changed history for who knows how many people? ("The Butterfly Effect")

Here's a true example from my life, probably the stupidest one but because of that the best example:

In college I was casual friends with a girl who I eventually figured out had two large flaws -- she was personality-free and she was husband-hunting -- that offset two far more obvious assets (it's BOOBS WEEK!). We'd play tennis and go to movie matinees, and sometimes in the movies we'd do some groping, but we were no way BF and GF (at lest in my mind). Anyway, one day we got to stroking pretty heavy in the theater and I decided to take her back to my dorm room to get my first good look at those two assets. So we get to the room and neck a little and I start to unbutton ("Benjamin Button"!) her shirt, and I get to about the third button and damn if I can undo it. I don't know if she had a pin through it or what, but I could not work it. This was funny at first, but as it went on it became stupid, then frustrating, and after about two minutes of my hopeless struggles (she didn't offer to help, and I was too fascinated with why I couldn't get the damn thing open that it didn't occur to me to just smile and say, "Hey, why don't you do a strip tease for me?"), we pretty much bagged it and she went to catch her bus.

I never did get her nekkid, and not long after, when I figured out what she was after, I pawned her off on a friend of mine, rather than just use her, because I liked the girl. My friend had his fun with her for awhile and eventually she did find the husband she was looking for.

I turned out OK anyway, I'm very happy with Mrs. , and we've been married for 27 years. Still, it's interesting to think back and wonder, what if I'd got that button open? We almost certainly would have had some kind of sex. What if it was GREAT sex? Maybe I'd have put aside my qualms about her and we'd have become BF/GF. Maybe we'd have ended up married. I'd never have met my wife, never have had , daughter (or she'd be somebody else -- I've told her this story as an example of how easily she might not exist) -- the entire course of my life might have been very very different.

A button.

And I can think of another 4-5 stories like that, crossroads stories, just off the top of my head. And those are just ones I'm conscious of, I have no idea what other choices were made for me.

So this weekend's diversion: Do some time traveling and tell us about a mundane, ironic, stupid pivot point in your life that could have taken you in an entirely different direction, that would have changed the course of history. If you COULD go back and do it differently, would you, not knowing what the outcome would be?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 15, 2009 11:09 AM

Wait, wait, wait...hold on!

If Eric Bana can only time travel to other spots in his life, then how come he is able to meet his wife before they're destined to meet? Doesn't that violate the very rules you've established??

Posted by: Fredo at August 15, 2009 11:34 AM

I couldn't get into or through this book because of the whole "just go with it" caveat. The time travelling mechanism/structure/etc. just didn't make any sense to me and there was really no attempt to explain it, at least that I detected. I suppose if you're able to just let go and not ask questions it'd be okay, but that just doesn't work for me and, by extension, neither did anything in this story.

That said, I'd still probably cry at the movie because I hate to see anyone do Rachel McAdams wrong. She's adorable!

Posted by: Kim at August 15, 2009 11:35 AM

Beautiful apperance and hot size is the focus, DO you love this kind of beauty,
hey, this is the best place __Tallloving . C o m__to hook such a sexy baby,,
come on!!!! they are waitting for you ..lol...

Posted by: lisa at August 15, 2009 12:19 PM


What's the standard of handsome, the height is!!!
lookingfor a tall lover is your best choose, dont miss it.
come to the place___Tallloving Co m___ finding your love and happy...come on..
a group of handsome guys are waitiing for your choice........

Posted by: lane at August 15, 2009 12:21 PM

The book sucked, so why would the movie be good? No-brainer for me. That book was TERRIBLE.

Posted by: k8wma at August 15, 2009 12:49 PM

I categorically refuse to see this film, EVER. Ever ever ever. I loved the novel and I'm just not marring that.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at August 15, 2009 1:11 PM

bucdaddy The weekend of July 28, 1990.
I was home for the summer from college and enjoying a horribly miserable time at my parent's house. I had just gotten a restraining order against my stalker after he lit himself on fire on my parent's front lawn (I never even went out with him!).

Angie calls me up and says "we're going to the Good Luck Rodeo tonight, wanna come?"

The Good Luck? A nasty filthy hole in the wall honky tonk in Lewisville with nothing but gross old guys who fancied themselves real cowboys? A place where they had women volunteer to suck on a banana in front of the crowd to see who could deep throat it the best?

I glanced to my left and looked at my drunk stepfather cackling at something on TV. I glanced to my right and saw my bleach blonde straight out of a Tennessee Williams play crazy insane mother about to go off on a new paranoid fantasy and said "YES I'LL BE AT YOUR HOUSE IN TEN MINUTES."

I didn't bother with my hair. I didn't bother with my face. I hardly bothered to wonder what I was wearing.

I met my husband there. We talked, we kissed, I gave him my number, we fell madly in love, he went off to a war, came back wounded, we married just a few months later, and had Little Snugggiepants a few years after that and will celebrate our 18th anniversary this December.

Because I didn't want to sit home with my parents on a Saturday night when I was 19. And because, on his side of the story, his buddy Frank had a car, $200 in his pocket and they were both sick of Ft. Hood. They saw the Good Luck from the highway and randomly decided it might be good luck to go there. It was! (Well, not so much for Frank, he bombed.)


Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at August 15, 2009 1:21 PM

Sometime late in mid-March 2001

I was in my first year, second semester of college. My practice for whatever act at the circus had just ended and I had dashed back to my dorm room to grab a quick bite of lunch before running (literally) to my biology lab. I noticed on the screen of my computer that I had an instant message window open, so I looked to see who was trying to talk to me. It was some random dude that had posted the next two lines of the lyric from Candiate by David Bowie that I had in my profile. I was in a huge rush and was aggravated for no good reason that this guy was doing something as lame finishing my song lyric as his first words ever to me. I answered back something like "Who is this and what do you want?" I don't remember what he said in response, but I basically said I was in a rush and didn't have time for him.

Fast-forward 2 hours.

I came back from a fun lab in a much better mood than I was on my way to lab, so I started feeling bad about being rude to the poor guy. So I signed on and started chatting with him to see what he was all about. He found my profile on TeenageWildlife.com one day when he was bored, thought I sounded interesting, looked pretty, and to top it all off I was relatively local.

Fast forward 2 weeks.

By this time I figured he was a normal type of dude and since he only lived a couple hours away and was interested in all my circus shit, I invited him to see me perform. So, he attended the second weekend of the homeshows.

Fast forward 3.5 years.

We get married and are still married 5 years later.

I've thought many times: What if I never signed back on? What if he wasn't bored that day looking for someone to chat with? What if I had been a bigger bitch? Or what if he had decided to talk to someone else? What if I had never made a profile on that site in the first place?

Posted by: stardust savant at August 15, 2009 3:37 PM

Here's another one.

Sometime in December 2000

I'm not sure exactly what led up to the tearful phone call to my parents. To tell you the truth, I've repressed most of it and don't care to dredge it up. Anyway, I had gone over to the house of my verbally and emotionally abusive boyfriend to find out he wasn't there and had done something really upsetting. I dunno. Anyway, I called my parents from his house, in tears about whatever it was. Their response was something like, "We don't care that you are 18. If you don't take all of your shit back and dump his ass right this minute, we are going to drive across town, put you in the car, pack up all of your crap in your dorm room, and take you home. He has gone too far. So, while I was on the phone with my mother I took back a few things I had loaned the shitbag, wrote him basically a Dear John note, pinned it to a wall, and bailed. I mean, I fucking tore out of there because I was afraid he was going to come back and physically hurt me this time. I thought there might have been something I left, but I didn't want to spend any longer in there than I had to. Never contacted him again.

The thing I left there? The puppy he had repeatedly abused in front of me. My brother and I went back a few days later, dressed in black, with boltcutters, ready to cut open the back fence and steal the dog. But it was gone. There was a spot under the fence that looked like maybe the dog had dug out and escaped, but we weren't sure. I never saw the dog running stray around the neighborhood or anything.

I wish to this day that I had taken an extra second to look around and see the poor puppy.

It's not really my life that would have been drastically changed because of it (I don't think), but the dog's life would have been a lot better.

Posted by: stardust savant at August 15, 2009 3:47 PM

, (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy)

Mine isn't sad. Because I couldn't think of one at this moment. Nor is it happy. I'm single.

My parents moved me in the middle of my junior year from Texas to Georgia, so naturally I knew no one my senior year of high school. I finally met another guy who seemed to have similar interests and he quickly became my best friend. I graduated high school with a 3.9 GPA and scored around a 1300 on my SAT. I was accepted to Kennesaw State University, Georgia State, University of Georgia, Texas A&M, and Emory University. Well my first semester of college (I chose KSU because it was the only one I could afford) I was still hanging out with said friend, who decided to experiment with drugs, naturally I did, and ended up failing every class my first two years of college. Thus resulting in my GPA going to complete shit which eventually led to me being permanently expelled from school with two classes left to graduate.

I don't regret the drugs so much because they were an important part in shaping who I am today.

I do regret not going to a different university. KSU was close to home and thus around said friend. Any of the others would have put me too far away from him to get his claws in me. I wonder if I would have done better at a harder college (Emory's annual tuition is $37,500). I wonder where I would be now.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at August 15, 2009 4:53 PM

I think these stories are fascinating. I'll toss out another one:

I got my BA in journalism and communications at a small urban college in downtown Pittsburgh. The school was two blocks away from the offices of the city's two (at the time) major daily newspapers. And for whatever reason -- laziness being my first guess, arrogance my second -- I never strolled down the street to ask the editors, "What can I do for you? I'll answer phones, sweep floors, work for free to get my foot in the door, and maybe you'll have something for me when I graduate."

Four years, never once took a shot.

I ended up starting out as a one-man sports staff at a tiny daily in a tiny rural town, making tiny money even for the time. But a guy I worked with threw a Christmas party, and his future wife's cousin was there (she'd had to be goaded into going, she really didn't want to), and his future wife's cousin became Mrs. ,.

Odd how many things have to go exactly right (or wrong, as the case may be) for you to end up where you are, not to mention who you're with.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 15, 2009 5:28 PM

Okay, bucdaddy, but fair warning, this one's depressing.

When my lab moved out to California, one of my labmates, Joanne, and I got an apartment together because we couldn't afford one bedrooms out here on a grad student's salary. Joanne had been depressed for a while because of the suicide of another lab mate, but she seemed to be doing a lot better for a while. And then around Thanksgiving she started falling apart. The Monday after Thanksgiving, two of my labmates found her drinking alone in the office - big red flag. They knew that they couldn't express concern because she resented people worrying about her and just made more of an effort to hide things if she knew you were worried, so instead they called me and suggested we all go out together to a local bar, which we did. At one point, when she was in the bathroom we conferenced and agreed it was important to keep a close eye on her the next few days.
The next morning they took her out for breakfast. When I saw she was planning on working from home, I stayed home too, so she wouldn't be alone. Around 8 or so she made herself a cup of tea and went into her bedroom and shut the door. This wasn't unusual, she usually spent her evening in her room with the door closed for privacy. But I was worried, especially when I saw her facebook update, which said she was "happy, really." I though about grabbing one of my cats and knocking on her door to see if she was okay and offer her a fuzzy animal for comfort. I decided not to because I was afraid she'd be upset with me for intruding.
The next morning her boyfriend called me, frantic. She'd sent him a text the night before saying she'd taken something (he didn't see it until the next morning because he'd had his phone on vibrate). I went into her room to check on her, and she seemed okay at first, she was just sleeping, but there was her tea cup with white powder all over the edge. I hung up on Jeff and immediately called 911.
She lingered in a coma for a few days. At first they thought she'd be okay, but at some point her body just stopped fighting for life. She died on Friday.

I really really wish I'd checked on her that night.

Posted by: s. pisaster at August 15, 2009 7:56 PM

Now why did I do that? I made myself all sad again. Balls.

Posted by: s. pisaster at August 15, 2009 8:00 PM

I just reviewed the film on my own site, but man I totally agree with you on this. The ending didn't bother me that much, because at that point, I didn't even WANT to be manipulated anymore. I do agree that the last 20 minutes or so were wayyy better than the hack rush job they did on the first half. I did cry at some of the Alba parts, but like you said, it was my memory of the book and not because of the movie.

Also, TTTW haters can suck it. It's an awesome book deserving of every ounce of praise that's been heaped on it. It has first time novelist problems (could have used a better edit, style issues), but I wouldn't change a thing about it. I'm never apologetic for my deep love of the story. Niffenegger is really talented at creating a world and making you care. I'm halfway through her second novel (got an ARC), and it's very different but also excellent.

Oh, and as for my "if I'd done something different" - my husband IM'd me on AOL (!) based on a mutual love of a musician in my profile (!!). If I'd clicked the x, my life would have been completely different. I usually never answered unsolicited IM's from strangers. This was the exception. Nearly a decade later, the thought that a split second decision could have robbed me of the love of my life still freaks me out. I basically answered him because I was bored.

Posted by: Kari at August 15, 2009 8:16 PM

Holy shit s. pisaster that's like a fucking nightmare.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at August 15, 2009 8:51 PM

I was programming a radio station in a mid-sized Texas town and had put out the word that I needed some people for entry level jobs as board operators - basically, manning the machinery that made our news-talk sister station function on time and get local commercials played between segments of Limbaugh and others of his ilk. (I didn't program that station, I just ran it.) One of the applicants was a young fellow who really wanted to break into the business... very earnest, very much selling his desire to succeed as a radio announcer. I hired him on the spot.
Now, the young lady who accompanied this gentleman (his girlfriend), walked in and, without a word, sat down on the floor next to my office door. She was dressed in a t-shirt, cut-off jean shorts and a pair of Chuck Taylors but her most interesting accessory was a look of incredible disdain for anything and everything she could see. All that I could think about her was "There's a serial killer waiting to happen".
After interviewing the young man (and mainly because I tend to be a smart-ass) I said to her "How about you? Looking for work?" She said "Sure.
How much?"
To this day, I am not sure why I hired her. She seemed a little snotty, a LOT arrogant and just the opposite of what I needed from a "team player" but over the next two years she blossomed into a dedicated and extremely talented DJ/Program Director in her own right and had a pretty amazing career.
Three years after we met, she also became an amazing Mom to our daughter and seventeen years down the road, we wake up in love with each other every day.
One of the very few times in life I've not trusted a first impression...

Posted by: Spender at August 15, 2009 10:02 PM

Oh my GOD s. pisaster, I'm so sorry! Please don't blame yourself.

Posted by: Snuggie you know who at August 16, 2009 12:21 AM

Mine is not depressing, but something I wonder about every now & then...

I only applied to two colleges when I was a senior in high school. Both were small, private liberal arts colleges that offered me scholarships. The biggest difference was that one was located in the town where I grew up, and the other was outside of Philly, about 3 hours from home. I chose the local college based solely on the fact that they offered me more money.

I loved my time at my alma mater. I joined the choir, which lead me to audition for and successfully make the Tour Choir, and then the Chamber Choir as well (which meant more scholarships). And my time in the Tour Choir gave me the opportunity to travel to places I'd never been - California, parts of Southern Florida, New England, the Carolinas, and even to Spain for two weeks following my junior year. The best thing about the choir is that I made a lot of friends who I am still very close to, and who have helped make me who I am today.

But every now & then, I wonder... what if I'd picked the other school? Would I have stuck with my original major (biology) instead of switching to psychology? Would I have had the chance to travel? Would I have met some amazing people there? Hell, would I have met & married someone from there, instead of ending up with my fiance?

I wonder sometimes... but I don't for one moment regret my decision.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at August 16, 2009 12:22 AM

Hmm...a story:

Years ago, I was looking for a way out of a job and I sent my resume to a small consulting firm. What I didn't know was that my brother picked up the phone when they called and they thought he was me and he interviewed for the job. When I called to ask, I found out.

In the end, he got the job and began a nice, long career. Meanwhile I've been bouncing from job to job.

But, tbf, I think he's better for the type of career that ensued out of it than I. That's why I've never held a grudge over it.

Posted by: Fredo at August 16, 2009 12:52 AM

Seastar,
I am so sorry that you had to endure such tragedy. I can't imagine what it was like and can only guess as to how much weight your soul must bear.
All that I can say is that you were a player in a game with a predetermined outcome and you can't blame yourself.

Posted by: Spender at August 16, 2009 1:28 AM

s. pisaster, That's a terrible thing to deal with, and it's certainly OK to be sad, but please forgive yourself, if you haven't already, as hard as that might be. She was responsible for her own life, she is responsible for her own death.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 16, 2009 11:27 AM

I think that chaos set up the first encounter of Claire and Henry. Later in life he is able to eat dinner and hang out with the Abshire's in their home. This triggers his future and chrono-displacements tot he past. He probably should not have let Claire know that they are married in the future, but he had to have some curiosity as to whether it would rip the time-space continuum. And afterwards, he probably knew that no matter what would happen, they would still get married. It's a different type of time travel, one that could never work, but one that is acceptable if you can get over ideas like spontaneous combustion as a plot device.

What I loved about the book was what I believe to be the core of the book: Claire's experience. I really didn't want Henry to die but mostly because she loved Henry so much. I really wanted he to have a baby and continue her art or find whatever happiness she desired because I started falling for Claire myself. Sure, there was a part of me that wanted to see Henry traveling to all of his places and see more daring escapes and moments of peril, but it was good enough to have the symbolic love story of what it is to be left behind or having to do without. So the more tragic since they were both relatively young and flawed and beautiful.

did they cover that in the movie?

I like the Claire, Alba, Ing and Gomez in my own head, thank you very much. I don't think I've pictured Henry, really, but he always reminded me of what I think it'd have been like to hang around immortally young Donald Sutherland.

Posted by: jackseppelin at August 16, 2009 11:39 AM

I've got one. Last year I was 24 I had a job at a non-profit, a car and an apartment. In the span of two weeks I was laid off, totaled my car and still had to pay for an apartment. Needless to say, I was feeling a little bit cursed. But if all of that had not of happened I wouldn't have chosen to go back to school for something I really love, met my boyfriend and awesome friends in the area, and bought and paid for my new car in full. So it all worked out in the end.

Posted by: ziva at August 16, 2009 11:56 AM

Holy shit, spisaster, that's just awful. I really am sorry honey...

My story isn't quite as earth shattering but here it goes: In my last year of high school, we were given the opportunity to pick our own extra classes. I decided to go with Computer Graphics, Asian Studies and Media. While I landed Media, my other two choices ended up getting nixed due to a lack of interest, and I ended up getting saddled with Computer Programming and Psychology. Awesome.

I dreaded Psychology because I thought the teacher, for various reasons I won't go into, hated me. After a while, I realized that not only was the man a fucking genius, he was also several kinds of kickass too, and I ended up getting an A in the course.

Computer Programming, on the other hand, was so mind-numbingly boring that I ended up slacking off on the computer during class and coasting through the course on a C+ average. But that's not the important part. During my time slacking off, I ended up happening upon Pajiba. So basically, if the two courses I originally chose hadn't been nixed, I never would have found this place.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at August 16, 2009 2:45 PM

Oh, S. pis, I can't imagine what that must have been like for you, but I'm so sorry. This pales in comparison, but my husband and I once came upon the scene of a car accident. When the passengers who'd flagged us down told us that the driver was still trapped in the car, we left to call 911 from a nearby house. By the time we returned, emergency workers were on the scene, so we continued home.

It wasn't until the next day that we heard the driver of the accident (a young mother) had died. I try not to dwell on the what-ifs, but I do sometimes wonder if I'd stayed behind, could I have done anything to change the outcome?

Posted by: meaux at August 16, 2009 3:04 PM

Ha--yay for Computer Programming, Jer!

I actually forgot the first (happier) story that came to mind when I saw the hijack topic. When I finished my masters degree in the ever-so-lucrative field of seabird behavioural ecology, I moved back to the economically depressed land of my birth and started job hunting. Thankfully, mr. meaux was gainfully employed and willing to play sugar daddy for a while!

After about a year, I was pretty desperate. I had an interview to be a clerk at the small local grocery store and totally nailed it, thank you very much. However, I couldn't face the thought of taking it--the store owner was a total bitchface, and as much as told me that if she heard that one of her employees was shopping at one of the bigger stores (where you can get more than five different kinds of vegetables), she'd start looking for an excuse to fire them. Nice. With the mister's blessing, I fudged and told her I'd found a job elsewhere when she called to offer me the position.

A couple of weeks later, I heard a local environmental consulting firm was looking for a receptionist. Figuring, "eh, it's a foot in the door," I brought in my resume. It was the busy season, and of course there was no receptionist, so the only person there to answer the door was the office manager. We had a nice conversation, and he seemed genuinely interested in my background even though it wasn't at all receptionist-ish. He said he'd give me a call if anything came up...I didn't expect anything to come of it, but nonetheless, I was glad to meet the head guy there.

Well the next Friday, I get a call from the company asking if I can come in Monday morning. Not for an interview, for a freakin' job! I "wasn't at all suited for the reception position," but they need a field tech ASAP, and the boss thought I'd be good. That was almost five years ago, and I've enjoyed almost every minute of my career.

What on earth would I be doing now if I'd just sucked it up and taken the grocery store clerk job?

Posted by: meaux at August 16, 2009 3:33 PM

No time. I'll read the hijack comments later.

November 1, 1995: If some geriatric glee-stain hadn't turned left on that red light, I would not have sustained the injuries that prevented me from being able to bypass the speeding hit-and-run artist who plowed into me on May 10, 2000.

Is this what we're doing?

***

Alright, I looked at a few. Love stories? Looks like I needs to get mosey-ing on that ol' dusty trail. To Ravel, and Beyond!

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at August 16, 2009 4:45 PM

Wow, s.pisaster, that is truly terrible. My uncle went through a similar situation when he was in his early 20s (nearly 40 years ago). I can't even imagine how you felt at the time and your journey since then. I hope you've made peace with it, or at least started to.

*hugs*

Posted by: stardust savant at August 16, 2009 5:39 PM

All that I could think about her was "There's a serial killer waiting to happen".

Posted by: Spender at August 15, 2009 10:02 PM

Spender, I like you. Your future was my ex, in a manner of speaking.

My ex had just gotten back into town after spending the weekend with her musician boyfriend. It was Wednesday. I decided to celebrate her return by leaving. I was sitting at the bar, alone -- difficult to conceive, I know. The future Mrs. G entered in the company of a mutual acquaintance. The mutual acquaintance and I exchanged pleasantries, and the future Mrs. G sat down between us. She and I wound up talking for six hours (about why, in the Presidential election of 2004, Bush was such an incredible failure). She's blonde. I was enthralled. So was she, thankfully. That was five years ago.

She's a native of the town where I/we now live, but I'm not from around here. The number of times that our paths probably had previously crossed (we can think of at least two local events where we were each in attendance but didn't know one another) boggles the mind.

I realize now that I've neglected the real point of this story:

So the future Mrs. G and I (who have known each other a total of about four hours at this point) are sitting at the bar when my current wife walks in. She's...acting pissed. I really love how cheaters can lay on the melodrama (see what I did there?). Anyhow, she sees us at the bar and announces -- quite loudly -- that she'll be waiting outside. I started to get up to go after her...but then I stopped. In that moment I contemplated my future with these two women. The one to whom I was married came up lacking. So I sat back down.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Mrs. G has told me that if I had gone after my ex that she and I would have been history -- and I completely understand that. To this day, though, my wife is bothered by the fact that I was cheating when we met; I was a married man. The facts are irrefutable. I've given up trying to convince her otherwise.

It really does come down to a single moment.

Posted by: Che Grovera at August 16, 2009 7:42 PM

Okay, mine's depressing and raises a rather hard question for me to answer.

Two years ago this August 25th, my 4 month old daughter died in the middle of the night. We think she rolled over in her sleep and smothered herself because she didn't know to roll back over. I put a perfectly healthy baby down for bed at night and woke up to find her gone. I often wonder to myself if I could go back in time (knowing what I know now)... if I could have saved her life.

But here's the question I have. You see, we got pregnant again about 6 months after she died and now I have an adorable wonderful little 10 month old who is the light of my life. She (and my husband) are one of the main reasons I survived the loss. I know if I traveled back in time and saved my first child, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with my second child. There would be no Katie. So, if Time Travel ever actually become a real thing.. I don't know if I could feasibly partake in it. Because the only thing I would ever go back in my life and change would be to save my daughter's life, but I would have to do that knowing my other daughter wouldn't exist (and any subsequent children that I may have because all of the timing would have been off).

Posted by: legib at August 16, 2009 8:53 PM

Jo "Mama,"

Sounds like you could use a Pajihug too.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 16, 2009 9:03 PM

legib, my heart goes out to you. I believe it boils down to a matter of faith: do you believe that what has already happened is the way it should have been -- or not? If you can accept what is, then you have faith. If you can't accept what is, then you don't. It's really quite simple.

The fact that I have no control over what is tormented me for a long while.

Posted by: Che Grovera at August 16, 2009 9:13 PM

What the hell is wrong with the people who didn't like this novel? Grief porn? It was an extremely realistic portrayal of how a life like Henry's would play out inside the confines of the world created in the novel. Life is sad sometimes and would more than likely be slightly sadder for a guy who frequently travels through time against his will. This was such an incredibly thoughtfully written story and the only thing that pisses me off more than this abomination of a movie is that people are getting all fucking excited about the fact that they didn't like the novel. Well the novel was fantastic so you really missed out. Good for you.

Posted by: becks at August 16, 2009 10:24 PM

legib,

I'm so, so sorry. Once of my uncles had an experience like that about fifteen years ago. It wasn't as sudden, but soon after she was born it was evident that she wasn't long for it. Just had to sit and watch her deteriorate for a few weeks. Mm. You're all making me cry for you and the episodes that I forgot to remember.

I just got back home, and started glancing at the earlier comments. Look at this world, it's everything. What a range in stories.

Actually, I have a story from a while ago-- very sad one.

About fifteen years ago, my mother and I were on the city bus home from my piano lesson. It was a torrential downpour, so naturally we had an umbrella. I'm a little person even now, but back then (before the puberty weight and when gymnastics was a prominent part of my life) I was a pixie sylph in sandals. We really only needed one umbrella.

Anyway, at our stop, we noticed a young-ish woman with a stroller. We didn't know her well, but had had brief and pleasant exchanges in the time since she had moved into the apartment building across the street. The lady was from Vietnam, so her grasp on the language was somewhat tenuous, but we managed to communicate to her that my mother would walk her to her own apartment to keep her and her toddler boy dry.

It was summer, and still light outside, so my mother told me to wait for her in the lobby while she they went across the street. Those of us who are, or who have been raised by single mothers (latter, here) often feel a sense of protective kinship with each other. In a world that can often be nigh on unnavigable, it's comforting to know a voice that empathizes and sympathizes. You want to help, and you think you can.

Because her hold on English wasn't very good, it took a little while to my mother to get the message across, and so they were outside for a longer amount of time than would be necessary to get to where they were going under less muddled circumstances. I was walking into the lobby, so didn't hear much of the conversation beyond the 'thank-yous, you're welcomes'. I did see a car with a man driving it who looked over at my mother and the lady, squinting for recognition.

My mother came back, we went to our apartment, and that was that.

A couple of days later, I turned on the news and hit the floor. This lady had secretly taken an apartment with her mother in an effort to hide from her abusive, estranged husband. They were making the arrangements for her to be off somewhere else: off to another secret. Had we not bothered with the umbrella, my mother and the lady wouldn't have been outside long enough for her husband to see some random lady walking with his estranged wife and son.

Once he was sure that we were completely out of the way, and that his wife would've reached her mother's suite, apparently he followed. Followed, then confronted his wife and mother-in-law. The older lady called the police, but it was already a foregone conclusion. Knowing that she would instinctively close the physical distance, her husband took their son and made a beeline for the front door. Whether the mother of a child, or the mother of a mother, it's sickening to know that nothing moves faster than a vendetta--certainly not the police; it was just too fast.

Bodies of parents were shielding the bodies of their children, but his quarrel was only with one of them. And as the police told it via the report, she was the one he successfully dragged into the corridor, amid screams from her child and mother. Her son would have been too young when this happened to remember anything of the event or woman. But when it rains, after bitching about the old man weather-body I have, I do wonder if he would have found them were it not for one fucking umbrella. True, both of my car accidents occurred on rainy days, but it's not the worst thing.

I was ten when it happened, but fifteen years later, I still find myself imagining the scene. That while my mother and I opened the umbrella at home to let it dry and continue with the day, someone else's mother had to watch her only daughter get dragged out of what was supposed to be her safe haven--dragged out and stabbed to death on what was--for me--another mundane Tuesday evening.

You never know what's happening. But it so often feels that in the lives of all of us, it's so much worse than what you were imagining, COULD imagine. It's hard to light the fire of the ire with that thought luxuriating in your brain.

Freely admit: Of course, I don't know anything yet. Apart from being only 25, I'm about as callow and spaced-in/tuned-out as a person can be. Which is to say, I'm no authority on the darker reaches of the lives of man, and I'm just hoping that I don't catch a case of the 'Old Before Wise Syndrome'. But at least here and now, from my own underfed point of view, it's always worse. But then, my childhood was uncommonly crazed and traumatic. That's the way it crumbles, cookie-wise. Ha, pfft. Listen to me huh? Wail, wail maw-widge in the Peter Cook voice. Have a baby badger, it comes with the burial plot, sheesh.

Why should I leave my apartment, anyway? Toronto is a damned, damned, DAMNED expensive city of concrete and condos, and I want to make the most of my stone monies.

Also, allergies. What's the air made of here? I only moved out here two years ago, so I haven't cracked it. It's like the rubbed-soaked asparagus piss of an uncharacteristically belligerent carnival barker's damp, peeing mould-pillow. But, on the whole, I like the city.

Fifteen years ago this month. Mm.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at August 16, 2009 11:14 PM

Jo 'Mama', you have haunted me on this site for a good while. Yours is the voice of conscience. I am in Toronto this week on business, but I am not too busy to make your acquaintance -- if you're so inclined.

Posted by: Che Grovera at August 16, 2009 11:41 PM

JMB: Upon reflection I see where my initial overture may have been a little...rough. My interest is sincere. I would be honored to meet you over a meal (my treat -- offered only because you have alluded to financial difficulties in the past). But Toronto is a BIG city. It may not even be feasible. I'll be downtown, by the harbor, all week.

Posted by: Che Grovera at August 17, 2009 1:15 AM

Haven't read all the comments, but a friend of mine took his wife to see this Saturday. All he managed to get out was, "The wife and I went to see "The Time Traveler's Wife..." before I went full-bore rage on him. "I REFUSE to see it! They FUCKED IT UP!! The book was BEAUTIFUL!! They RUINED IT!!"

he meekly said that he had not read the book...and wandered away.

WILL. NOT. SEE.

Posted by: dammitjanet at August 17, 2009 8:40 AM

I adore this book as if it was born of my own womb, but I didn't detest the film. I agree, it never really went deep enough, and [SPOILERS?] I was really effing pissed that they let him keep his feet, [end SPOILERS], but overall I thought they did a decent job. This story is just too good to butcher, only slightly maim.

However, the one thing that really cheesed me was how the film completely ignores that the book tells both peoples' stories equally. For every bit from Henry's perspective, we had a bit from Claire's perspective, and this was left completely out of the film. We only saw things from his side, always traveling with him, never staying to watch the slow, arduous wait with Claire. It's called The Time Traveler's WIFE, for crying out loud!

[SPOILERS?]But seriously, back to the feet. When he said, "Don't worry, he will keep his feet" (or however they said it), I literally almost choked on my milkshake [don't judge me]! Reading that segment of the book haunts me to this day, and I felt so utterly cheated out of that guttural experience. [end SPOILERS]

...I won't tell you the film/book, because my humiliation knows no bounds, but I read a tearjerker when I was a teenager, and I was kind of excited when they turned it into a film. It was awful, of course, but so was my taste. At one point, the main girl gives the guy a gift, and says jokingly, "Don't worry, it's not a Bible." I literally screeched - in the book, it IS a Bible, her most precious possesion as it belonged to her mother, now passed! They COMPLETELY basterdized the whole point! Argh, just remembering it makes me want to Hulk out!

Posted by: Patty O'Green at August 17, 2009 9:35 AM

Sure, why not? Are you talking about Harbour Front? That's about an hour, maybe hour fifteen from my apartment.

Don't worry about distance, I live in Upper Bongo-Bongo and it takes a while to get anywhere. (Hurry up with that specialized university lane and subway station, TTC).

Monday and Tuesday don't work for me, but Wednesday onwards should be okay.

Gird your loins, I tend to drift into research babble.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at August 17, 2009 9:39 AM

JMB is only 25?! how can that be?
in my mind, she is 150, a wise sage who has lived longer than all of us and types it up between the lines.
cyber-reality knocks me on my ass once again.

Posted by: gp at August 17, 2009 9:40 AM

OMG...these stories....legib, seastar, jmb...I am so, so sorry.

Posted by: dammitjanet at August 17, 2009 10:47 AM

Sure, why not? Are you talking about Harbour Front? That's about an hour, maybe hour fifteen from my apartment.

Monday and Tuesday don't work for me, but Wednesday onwards should be okay.

Gird your loins, I tend to drift into research babble.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at August 17, 2009 9:39 AM

That schedule works for me, too. Thursday evening would be ideal -- I should be wrapped up around 5:00-5:30. I think I'm talking about "Harbour Front"; I'm at the Westin Harbour Castle. That's pretty harbour-y, right? I haven't been to Toronto in twenty years, so I'm essentially a newcomer. I'm entirely open to schedule and venue suggestions that work for you. I'll gird for research babble if you gird for pointy-headed cellphone network jargon.

Posted by: Che Grovera at August 17, 2009 11:05 AM

Che, I'm usually not one to offer marital advice since I have absolutely no experience, but if your wife is uncomfortable about the whole cheating thing then don't you think she may take issue with you taking a 25 year old stranger to dinner while away on a business trip? Not that the whole encounter would be anything but innocent...just saying that I can't imagine the conversation with your wife would go smoothly. I could be completely wrong but I was just trying to save you some grief since it seems to be a point of contention between the two of you (just judging from your previous comment in this thread).

It is entirely possible I've overstepped my boundaries here, but I assure you it was only in the interest of trying to help.

Posted by: becks at August 17, 2009 11:18 AM

Interesting stories in the hijack. And sad. :(
I guess I have one or 2 to contribute. In my last 2 years of college I rented a house with some roommates. We met a couple of guys who lived next door once or twice in passing. One month after moving out I met a guy who I then dated for 6 years. Turns out he was the one next door neighbor for those 2 years whom I had never met. The very same guy who was upstairs when a tree from our yard came crashing down through his roof in a storm. I ran outside and so did his roommates, but for whatever reason, he didn't come out.
Our bedroom windows faced each other's, and I heard him playing music all the time, but we never met until just after we both moved out. No "future Mr Mouth" story here; that relationship just ran its course. Which is a good thing b/c you all know I heart Pissboy. :)

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at August 17, 2009 11:56 AM

I appreciate your concern, becks -- and your comment seems appropriate especially in light of the thread in which it appears and my earlier comment. There is no element of a "hookup" intended here. I did think about the appearance of impropriety given the dynamic involved, but I concluded that -- from my perspective, anyhow -- the circumstance was reasonable. There are some fascinating regulars on this site, and I've hoped that I would have the opportunity to meet at least one at some point. lordhelmet and I came close to crossing paths in Vancouver a few months back, but schedule and logistics got the better of us. A Pajibacon seems unlikely for me, but the last thing I want or need is to get a rep as some sort of stalker of the interwebs.

We should probably leave well enough, JMB. I appreciate your willingness to go out of your way, since it sounds like it would have been a hike for you. Perhaps a Canadian Bacon will convene in Toronto somewhere down the line.

Posted by: Che Grovera at August 17, 2009 12:23 PM

well enough *alone*, that is...

Posted by: Che Grovera at August 17, 2009 12:33 PM

Che, just so you know, I don't think any of the Pajiba readers would ever get a stalker vibe from you. You come off as entirely charming and friendly.

I would never have entertained the idea that anything scandalous was going on between you and JMB, I just wanted to make sure you knew that it would be a potential fight with the wife. Being of the female persuasion myself, I know the whole scenario might be a hard sell to me.

Posted by: becks at August 17, 2009 1:18 PM

That's fine by me, Che.

I must have missed this earlier comment to which becks is referring. I didn't get the sense at all that you were suggesting something untoward, and of course I wasn't planning on 'violating the sisterhood', as one S. Miller would say.

If you don't think a meal's a good idea, then I certainly won't force it. I wouldn't want to cause trouble to prove a point. Easy go, easy go back home.

Thanks for the nice comments, all. It's appreciated. I think the age comments are a gas. I'm the youngest member of my family by a wide margin--all of my siblings and cousins are between ten and 20 years older than me. You can absolutely do worse than be marked as a perpetual infant, but I always have to remind myself that others aren't mistaken about my age. I am, in fact, not four.

If I'm starting to pick up the traits that will one day congeal into a viable personality, I picked them up through osmosis. Osmosis and the stern, unrelenting discipline of an academically-obsessed single immigrant mother. So, pretty much anyone who has been raised by someone from 'The Old Country' knows what I mean. Also those who weren't. So, you know, the literate. Pooch thoroughly screwed.

Mark this kiddos: I turned 25 in May, and my mother and all of her cronies still refer to me as (is that) the baby? She's obviously quite a bit older than me, and frets to my sisters (10 years older, half a foot taller, no limps between the two of them) frequently. That cracks me up. Well, it cracks me up since I moved away.

Back to Josephine Baker (interesting) and Al Jolson (a 'cruel' narcissistic asshole of semi-legendary proportions). Ugh, what a fuckwit.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at August 17, 2009 1:41 PM

Che-

You asked if I have faith.. it was amazing that before this happened I wasn't sure what I thought about everything, how I stood on that ground. After the loss, I found that I had faith in bucket loads and I began to find it everywhere and in everything around me.

I also found out that I had strength and that laughter can help get (me) through anything. The loss and what "is" will torment me everyday and it put me as a member of a club that I wanted no part of and no acceptance into. I found that I quit being "Leslie" when I was introduced to people at parties and started having a comma after my name and the "you know, the one whose baby died?" was unspoken but known.

My heart goes out to all of you who have a past experience that they wonder if they had just done something different, if that would have changed the outcome.

Posted by: legib at August 17, 2009 1:51 PM

I'll be thinking of you, Leslie.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at August 17, 2009 2:38 PM

This is the first I'm finding out JMB is a girl.


all that ludicrous and informed nonsense from a Spinal moniker, no less, just has to be male. well... there goes my mind. Blown.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at August 17, 2009 3:11 PM

Props, Jo.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at August 17, 2009 3:13 PM

Thanks. I tip my fallopians to you.

Warmest Regards,

Rusty Hymen III (B.Shit Endo)
The New Mantle Institute for Steely Dan Research
28 Moon Phase Ova My Way, Activia Suite
Bloatsburg, White Pony
District of Uteronia
Mondo Guignol

X!

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at August 17, 2009 3:53 PM

So there WERE other people who didn't like the book! Thank god, I thought I was the only one. Fuck the movie, fuck the book. Never ending grief porn is the perfect way to put it, and if the movie couldn't even capture that, then I'm not wasting another letter on it.

Posted by: dsbs at August 18, 2009 10:10 AM

I love the book, I really do. The story devastates me. I saw the film last night, and it wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be, although I do agree with the review, especially: To the extent that the film works for a reader of the book, it’s only to trigger memories, to remind you of what you loved about it, and to provide a few new faces for your mind’s version of events.

I was sad from about a third of the way in, and that's because I knew what was coming. I did see it with a friend who hadn't read the book though, and she was sad too, and really enjoyed the film. I'm hoping she likes the book better.

Still, it could have been a lot worse, but I do wish they had kept the ending, it's stupid of them not to. And even though Eric Bana isn't my Henry, he still did a very good job.

Posted by: Carrie at August 20, 2009 7:09 AM

I couldn't have said it better myself; I agree with every point, especially about the film's ending. It was a complete slap in the face for those who have read the book. I had almost convinced myself that the movie was progressively getting better until that point. The book's final scene truly made my heart soar and weep at the same time; I barely felt a quarter of that at the film's end.

Also, I walked out of the theater with a distinct feeling that something had been missing in the film and, just as you said, that something was magic.

Posted by: Alex at August 21, 2009 11:52 AM





Video ads popping up after each page view? Try clearing your browser's cookies.